Part 8: TV Station

Time to air a totally radical subversive videotape!!



Fresh from his wholesale destruction of the M.I.N.T. Mall, Kent finds himself outside the Neutropolis TV Station, looking to broadcast a video of his musical idol, Brian Deluge.



A bouncer awaits Kent, along with some kind of... is that a pile of dirt there on the bottom right?



Some little critter has made a mess here.

Yup, a filthy stack of mud. Naturally, Kent is keen to add this to his ever-growing collection of horrible inventory items.



Someone let a dog do doo-doo, dude. Don't try this at home, kids!

Kent, honestly man. You have issues we really need to talk about. It's not good man.



Even the bouncer is horrified by Kent's actions. I love the angry glare he's got going here. It sets the pocket rose off very nicely.

I need to get into the building. I have an im...
I don't recognise your facial furniture boy! AND I don't see a badge!

Oh God, don't refer to Kent's face as furniture, he'll probably break it in half. Kent keeps pushing...

I'm new and I don't have a badge. But I have a very important t...
If I had a brick for every time I heard that, I'd be able to build a wall so high, I wouldn't have to talk to your sort. Leave while you still can.

Yeah, but then nobody would be able to get into the TV station and you'd probably be fired. Kent decides to change tack. By which I mean he decides to get stroppy, like he always does when things don't go his way.

I have a badge. I forgot to mention it when I first arrived because of your attitude problem.
The only attitude problem I have is with vermin like you. Get lost kid, otherwise I'll take you somewhere you'll never find your way back from.

This isn't working. Kent tries again.

Forgotten something? Thought of an amazing line of persuasive argument?
Please let me in! You'll get into trouble with your superiors.
I don't really think so, boy. Guys upstairs employ me for my imposing presence. And the only presents you'll be getting are attached to the end of my legs! You little RAT!

By now Kent is dovetailing into full-on whinge mode.

This sucks! Let me in right now!
OK, in you go. OOPS, there I go telling enormous lies again. Didn't you smell a RAT? Now get lost while you still can.

Okay, so the hint here is that the bouncer dude associates rats and vermin with badness. Therefore he must be deathly afraid of rats. Hey don't look at me, I didn't write this crap, I'm just telling you how it is.



Of course, we could just use the rat in a box we have, but let's test the theory first.



Rat Puppet (0:15) - Kent shoves his hand inside the rat puppet and approaches the bouncer, who recoils in horror like... well. Actually, like nothing ever has before. Whoever they paid to do the motion capture stuff should have apologised and given the money back. Seriously, watch the way this bouncer dude moves.



Okay, so clearly he finds rats disgusting. Fortunately, Kent is the master of disgusting things!



Rat (0:44) - Kent offers the bouncer a gift - one baked vermin in a box. It turns out this is The Mouse That Roared, and the bouncer hightails it.

Also note that the voice actor for the bouncer in the above clip speaks so quietly you literally can't hear him under the music. I had to set the music to one of the lowest levels, record the scene, then pump up the video volume just to make it possible to hear what he says. That's called quality control, kiddies!



Having disposed of the bouncer, Kent heads inside the station.



Hahaha. Actually it's one of the more detailed sprites in this game.



Well it's certainly large. I guess they're trying to impress me, but it hasn't worked!

I'm sure the feeling is mutual, Kent.



Kent strolls into the manager's room.



The poodle with sunglasses says it all for this room, really. I like the way the wall is made up of wooden planks of completely random widths.



Kent attempts to speak with Mr. Johnson, but is quickly cut down.

I'm busy! Go away!



Kent decides to chat up the secretary instead. And I do mean chat up.

Er... can I ask if you want to go out when this game is over?
My boyfriend won't like that.
I'd forget about him. I'm more fun to be with.
Er... my 7 FEET TALL, BODYBUILDING boyfriend won't agree!
Ah, yes... you're probably right. Never mind, it was just a thought.

Don't fret Kent, perhaps you can try to clumsily hit on Mr. Johnson instead. Kent decides to get down to business.

I've been told to bring you this video.
I see. Well it's nothing to do with me.

There isn't any bodybuilding boyfriend, is there? She just plain doesn't like Kent.

But this IS a TV station?
Yes, but you need to take it to the studio.
Oh, OK. Sorry to trouble you, Miss.

Of course, it's not like the studio is just sitting open or anything, it's locked up tight and nobody is around to let you in. Clearly this is something she should actually be helping us with, and she's just giving us the cold shoulder. Maybe next time Kent shouldn't open with his sleazy attempts to pick up taken women. He attempts to remedy this situation.

Can I speak with Mr. Johnson, please?
Do you have an appointment?
Er... no, but I do have a very important video tape.
Wait a minute.... Mr. Johnson, Sir?

...he's right there. He's heard the entire conversation.

Yeah?
There's a man to see you, Sir.

"He's free after this game, if you know what I mean."

Send him over.
You can see him now.
Thanks for your help.
That's what I'm here for.



Well, can't blame Kent for trying I guess. She is the least whacked-out girl we've seen in Neutropolis so far, I guess.



Now that we've gone through that farce, we can actually speak with Mr. Johnson about airing our illegal, rebel videotape. There is no way this could blow up in our faces or anything.

Also I love the "GEE AIN'T I GREAT" belt buckle

Excuse me, Mr. Johnson? Er... I don't want to take up much of your time, but...
What do you want? I'm extremely busy right now. Speak up! Don't take all day!
Well... er... I have this video that I've been told has to be played today.
What is it? Who sent you?

Aaaand here we go. Time for the shit to hit the fan. Kent however manages to think on his feet surprisingly well for a moron.

Er... I don't know what's on it. The orders came from... er... Mr. Nystalux himself!
Ah! Right. Well, I'm too busy right now. Take it to the studio. Here, you'll need this card.
Thank you, Sir.
Begone! I'm very busy!

You're just standing there smoking a fucking cigar, you're not busy at all. Certainly not too busy to actually check what's on the videotape that was brought to you by a creep like Kent. I'm actually kind of pissed off that worked.



What the fuck is with that painting? For a supposedly "normal" city where freedom of thought is penalised by law, this place is pretty damn fruity.



There are two studio doors, both of which can be opened by Mr. Johnson's ID card. We'll try Studio 2 first.



There appears to be some kind of show being filmed in here. That's a serious chin on that host down there!



Let's look into Studio 1 instead.



Now we're talking. A bunch of broadcasting equipment, and nobody in sight. Kent springs into action!



The upper VT Machine already has a tape in it, and it's actually impossible to eject it. Fortunately, the lower one is empty. Kent slides in the tape...



...and fires up the hardware.



Uh oh, password protection.



Haha, looks like Kent is fucked after all, unless that turd he picked up out the front is going to help him in some obscure, ridiculous manner.



Kent decides to head off to the technician's lab. Perhaps he can figure out the password in there.



Well would you look at that. Kent has now been bumped to only the third nerdiest guy in Neutropolis.

He's a geeky computer guy. He has a dirty ID badge on his oh-so-clean shirt, but I can't make out what it says.

Let's see whether he knows the password!

Excuse me for interrupting... Who are you?
What's it to you? Go away, I'm working and I'm far too clever to waste time talking to you.

This is off to a typically good start.

What are you doing?
What does it look like?! I'm mending this computer. What of it?
Nothing... I guess.

Way to really drill the guy, Kent. Let's try this again...

Hi, I'm a little stuck up in the control room. Can you tell me the password for the Edit Computer?
Get real! I can't divulge that information.
Why not?
I am solely responsible for what is broadcast. If I were to give it out, all sorts of subversive material could be aired. I'd be in deep.

Surely that would never happen!!

I'm no subversive! Where do you keep the password?
I keep it very close to my heart. You might not be subversive but you sure look weird. I'm sorry, but I can't tell you the password.

Thank you. Finally someone who recognises that Kent does not look anything like the typical citizen of Neutropolis, and is distrustful as a result. Of course, he has given away the location of his password in the process.

I'm weird?! You're not much help are you?
That's not my job. Now leave me alone.

We'll come back to this guy in a minute, but for now let's see what else we can find in this room.



Beat it kid! I'm far too important to talk to you!

Yes, I'm sure your job of standing around and watching the coffee machine is vital to the operation of the TV Station.



Kent comes face to face with a fax machine, and starts rambling on and on about God only knows what.

Good grief! I think it's a fax machine but it may be some complex artificially intelligent photocopier. Jeez! Take me to your leader!



Do I dare touch it? Argh! I didn't touch it, honest! I'm sorry, oh great machine! Please don't suck me in and fax me to oblivion!

Will you shut the fuck up, Kent?! Jesus Christ.

Okay, so the techy dude obviously has his password on his ID badge, which is on his pristine white shirt. Kent hatches a sneaky plan.



Dirty Shirt (0:21) - Kent pulls out his beloved turd, and throws it at the technician. Yes, he flings the poo, as though he were some kind of fucking monkey. One guess as to whether he bothers to even wash his hands afterwards, too. The technician demands that Kent take it to be cleaned, but forgets to take off the ID badge.

In case you were wondering, yes, the clod of dirt also would have worked. I just wanted to make sure I got that literal pile of shit out of the damn inventory.



Midway back to the TV room, Kent realises that he has no reason to keep the filthy shirt, and just ditches it.

Barf, looks like this guy just took a bullet! I'll throw it and keep the badge.



Continuing to walk back to the studio, Kent studies the badge.

There's a name: Ben Holen Eliott. 'Holen', that's a funny name!

Whatever you say, Kent Knutson.



Surely this isn't going to work...



Okay, so yes, Holen is indeed the password for the TV system. That is what is known today as "a shitty password".



Kent loads the Deluge video he placed in the second VT Machine earlier, and we're in business.



Brian Deluge (1:02) - The Brian Deluge video plays during the broadcast of the day time talk show. Brian actually does a better job than I would have expected, not that I was expecting very much. He could really do with a decent songwriter, though.

Those lyrics, as best as I can make out, are complete nonsense.

Don't ask yourself too many questions
Don't think I'm mad if you do (or maybe Don't think 'em out if you do?)
'Cause it's one less shrink, makes you sound good,
And road trip is gonna hit youuuuu, ow!
LIGHTNING ROD!
Brian Deluuuuuge, with the song of the apocalypse!

It's not obvious, but the basic chords here are the same as for the Normality theme song, which Kent whistles a version of at the start of the game. I guess this must be the Deluge track he was referring to.



"You're a functional adult!" Also, hahaha, I love the balloons and "WELL DONE KENT!" banners around here. Dai is still here too, but again has no lines whatsoever in this scene. I don't think we can even blame this on the paint anymore. More than likely there was some kind of brain parasite in the mould on that kettle.

Hopefully Brian will finally take a liking to Kent now that we aired his stuff for him.

Not exactly ALL, Heather. I was kinda happy with the progress we were making.

Oh well, so much for that idea.

But we weren't making any progress Brian!
Things weren't so bad. I've sold a few copies of 'Zen Throbb'. The message is already out there. I think we should wait for the groundswell before we further expose group safety by taking further action.
There IS no groundswell, Brian! Kent is part of the group now, our man in the field. There is NO argument.

To be fair to Brian, this group really couldn't withstand any kind of reaction, even the most minimal, from the Norm troopers.

How do you feel about that, Kent?
I don't like this. I want to go home!
Shut up and listen, Kent.

Smooth, Kent. He keeps on going, though.

Well, I'm not too comfortable, to be honest. I thought you would all be pulling in the same direction. I thought there would be more of you. And I thought you would have all kinds of weapons, and gadgets, like in the movies!
Kent, it's just group dynamics. We all share a vision of the same goal, but our opinions differ on the best route to get there. We'll be just fine. The only gadgets we need are our minds and a spirit of difference.

No, seriously Heather, Kent is right on this one. You really should have some kind of weapons, or defences, or something.

So, is there any news on the gizmos from the factory? What do you reckon they do?
As yet I have made limited progress. I have a hunch that they might be something to do with people's behaviour patterns, but I can't quite pin it down.
Do you think that you might discover their secret soon? It seems a little sinister that no one knows EXACTLY what they do!

Again, nothing stopping you from just heading back inside the Plush-Rest factory and grabbing the specs, Kent. They're right there, unguarded. Only one Norm trooper in the entire factory. No? Never mind then.

Heather does have an idea, however.

Well, we think that we MIGHT know where a man is who COULD help us out with this problem. Your note was a clue.
Oh yeah, the note. Who was that from?
It's from Saul, not-quite-dead twin bother of Leader Paul.

Wait, "not-quite-dead"? Didn't he explode into a million tiny pieces or something?

He's still alive?!
He is, and somehow he knows about our group.

You got that from a note written in gravy? I can't imagine Heather did any kind of DNA testing or anything. I think this is just a wild guess.

So, what do we do next?
The next thing YOU do is infiltrate the Ordinary Outpost and liberate Saul. His knowledge would be invaluable at this time.

Oh, great plan. Excellent plan. Let's stage a jailbreak. I think this was Brian's plan, actually. He just wants to get rid of us. Kent is very unsure about this plan.

Could I just...
It makes more sense for you to do it on your own, Kent. You stand more chance of succeeding. It's bound to work because it's exactly what the Norms least expect.

"Also, if it fails, we don't have to put up with you anymore. It's win-win!"

Dead right! And you expect me to pull it off alone?
Dai will wait for you on the roof in one of his cradles. He will bring you safely down to earth.

I'm not sure if you've noticed Heather, but Dai doesn't exactly seem to have all his faculties at the moment. Even Kent can see this is an insane plan.

They'll finger me as soon as I walk in! I'll be lobotomised before you can say scalpel!
No. I have made a few alterations to Norm 2782's uniform. It will be a perfect disguise. When you leave, you must wear it.
How's that Norm shaping up? He wasn't in great shape last time I saw him.
He has a piece of fire extinguisher lodged in his head, Kent. Although his condition is serious, he's in surprisingly high spirits. These Norms must be hard men indeed.

I think he's probably just still high from inhaling all those yellow paint fumes.

Why is this Saul guy so important? I know he's Paul's twin brother and stuff, but if he's been locked up for thirty years since the Great Shake-Up, he's gonna be whacked out of his brain.
His note says different. Kent, we MUST free him. You are just the, er... man for the job.

Even Heather can't make this sound convincing.

It's kinda looking that way, I must admit. OK, as much as I think this is crazy, I'll do it. I've nothing to lose anyhow.
Your name will be legend. Good luck Kent! Free Saul! Work your way to the roof of the Ordinary Outpost. Dai will be waiting for you there in one of his cradles.



This is a terrible, terrible plan.

Will Kent survive the Ordinary Outpost? Is Saul really still alive? Will Dai regain the ability to form words? Stay tuned!!