Part 11: UPDATE 6A: The Generic Army, Evolved

There's your problem -- I'm playing at the native N64 640x480 and scaling down to 75% after the fact in Irfanview. Dedicated image-editing programs are definitely going to be better at that kind of thing than P64 is. Anyway, update.

Short plot/Organize-Screen update this weekend, on account of a lot of plot happening now, even more of it happening after the next mission, a lot of army reorganization, and a weekend involving an unusual amount of work for me.

Update 6A -- The Generic Army, Evolved



So. The first issue I have to deal with, is exactly what to do with Troi.

Troi TYTON.

Where most Phalanxes are linebacker types with necks as wide around as their chins, Troi is a gangly teenaged motherfucker wearing a tin-can suit of rusty armor 3 sizes too big for him. You just know the kid's like 6'3" and 140 pounds, with knees and elbows that could stun a bull elephant and a neck approximately the length and diameter of his spear.



In other words, I hand over control of Doreauxgard's unit to him immediately. Kid, I like your style.

By definition, unique characters in OB64 are just plain better because they're not generic. Having Troi in charge of his own unit will necessarily make the game more fun. Plus he's adorable. By the time we're done with him he's going to have killed more men than Rhade, and he's STILL going to be chipper as fuck.



Meantime, we have a perfectly good fighter in Orwell who just got kicked out of his unit to make room for Troi, and Swift over here still needs another guy. Waste not want not. With that, the battalion is finally completely clear of Soldiers!

This means of course that any unit I choose can get the full benefit of Training, not just Freddie, Dio, and Leia's. The primary thing I'll be using Training for here is to push individual characters over the top to qualify for the classes I'll want them to take. It's also how you can grind, but that'll be kept to a minimum.

After some offscreen Training sessions, I was able to make some promotions around the entire force.



First off, MacLeod is obviously a little out of place as the world's only Scottish ninja, but once again anything is better than Fighter. He'll change again soon.



I was very strongly considering making a "OMG Rose is turning evil!!!" joke here, but let's all just settle down and keep that shit in BSS where it belongs.



The other half of the directorial duo joins the landed gentry. I certainly wish we lived in a world where Robert Zemeckis was knighted, but unfortunately this character will have to do.



This was an important one because before Hypatia became a Dragon Tamer, Ivory's unit had 3 archers and 2 frontliners. I always make a point of ensuring my squishy back-row characters have meatshields in front of them.



Finally, Lime takes her vows, making Leia's posse a designated attrition specialist unit -- some people like putting at least one healer in EVERY unit, but there are really only so many situations where that's necessary. Still want to be prepared for those situations, though.



I also did some renaming! I dunno if this is a reference to something, but it sure is a catchy name! Just a heads-up, the next two Hawkmans are probably getting named Pidgey and Spearow.



Finally, these two redshirts haven't gotten smart enough to become mighty wizards yet, but they're pretty much the last two guys in line to get names, so I just got that out of the way right now.

Long story short, the current constitution of the Generic Army is as follows:

UNIT 1
Magnus, Gladiator (LEADER)
Robert, Knight
Zemeckis, Knight
Panic, Amazon
Reynolds, Cleric

UNIT 2
Troi, Phalanx (LEADER)
Doreauxgard, Knight
Meister, Knight
Jager, Fighter
Sexwale, Fighter

UNIT 3
Swift, Fencer (LEADER)
Guy, Ninja
Cucka, Ninja
Bluemage, Fighter
Tallgeese, Fighter

UNIT 4
Dio, Gladiator (LEADER)
Penthesilea, Amazon
Ferdinando, Fighter
MacLeod, Ninja
Karkat, Fighter

UNIT 5
Ivory, Dragon Tamer (LEADER)
Hypatia, Dragon Tamer
Marty, Ninja
Rose, Sorceress
Comet, Amazon (Still nameable!)

UNIT 6
Leia, BLaze Knight (LEADER)
Boudica, Valkyrie
Aurora, Valkyrie (Still nameable!)
Lemon, Amazon
Lime, Cleric

MISC:
Jim, Wyrm
Fuzzums, Hellhound
Brundlefly, Hawkman
106 Soldiers I will never use

Just a heads-up, anyone tracking the evolution of their self-insert, I reserve the right to sub anyone out at any time for any reason (but probably because I've just recruited a unique character I want to use instead). BEWARE!



Anyway, if I recall correctly, General Godeslas wanted to see us at -- to Freddie and Hugo's surprise and consternation -- the castle where his office is! How fantastically odd! Anyway we should probably go do that, it was like last week.



We open our cutscene by interrupting some kind of asshole party.

: "Excuse me."



(Surprisingly, Rhade respectfully gets out of our way. I'm shocked at this development.)

: "Freddie, you're here."

: "Are you that rookie from before? ...I see you've made a name for yourself."

: "As we all know, the Palatinean Revolutionary Army has been gathering strength. We gained information from a rebel captive that they are planning to recapture the Volmus Mine and its outlying areas. We've confirmed the troop movement. Leader of the Revolutionary Army, Frederick Raskin, is also heading there... No doubt they will strike in the next few days... but we don't know the details. We will join forces with the Central Division... assault Volmus, capture Frederick Raskin, and put an end to the revolution!"

I'm also honestly impressed Godeslas is referring to the Revolutionary Army by its full formal name rather than "the rebels" or "the peasant force" or I dunno "Johnny Reb" or something. Both of these guys must be in a good mood today.

: "But, we need time to organize the troops. Since your battalion has performed well, despite its lack of experience, I want you to lead this operation. Head to the area immediately, and stop them at all costs!"

: "I am assigned to such an important task, sir...?"

: "No worries, kid. Our troops will be right behind you. All you need to do is surprise the Revolutionary Army and create a diversion. We'll handle the rest. When their main forces attack, I'll take care of them myself."

In case it wasn't clear from this line, I'm fairly sure Rhade really does have every intention of literally killing every Revolutionary soldier personally by himself. The rest of his army is there to watch and high-five him afterward.

: "Expect the Zenobians to show up, too."



I expect that that last line would have been accented by clasping Freddie's shoulder firmly in a fatherly manner if Godeslas's desk wasn't so friggin' huge. And empty. What's all that space for, and where is the huge mountain of paperwork that running an army should necessitate? Really, though, the key defining feature of this screenshot is what I'm assuming is a giant box of candy way in the back right corner.

Anyway, are we done here?

oh no wait rhade hasn't been an asshole yet, hold up

: "Hey, you don't have to capture any rebels, you hear me?"



That's his murderin' laugh!

: "........."

: "Why are you staring at me? You have a problem!?"

Rule #89 of the army: If your superior officer thinks something is hilarious, no matter how off-putting, it's probably wise to crack a smile or at least not glare intensely at him with murder in your eyes.



At any rate, Freddie decides now is probably a good time to just turn around and go. Pretty sure this wouldn't fly in a modern army.



: "You're going to use his war record to your advantage, like a promotion... Am I wrong?"

: "I, I just thought he was suitable for this operation. I have no such intentions..."

Way to grovel, Goddy!

: "...If you say so. You won't be able to keep him under control anyway. ...Look at his eyes. Just like his father! He is dangerous. ...Watch out for him."

"Note that he's carrying a Blessed Sword. Remember where his daddy likes to swing that particular blade."



"IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT, GODESLAS"



Anyway with that I guess the meeting's over, 'cause Rhade just up and leaves. Y'know, there's actually a pretty good in-universe explanation for why there are so many blond people in OB64 who also happen to be assholes. Remember earlier when I described the Indigans, that formerly-marginalized ethnic group notable for having bright blue anime hair? Way far back in the Ogre Battle lore, there was some sort of war between people with blue hair and the blondies, who called themselves the Besaid Aurics. Where everyone with every other possible hair color was during this conflict is unknown, but the Aurics won, their leader (known semi-messianically as The Progenitor) became the first King of Palatinus, his descendants are the current kings, and everyone with pretty yellow hair became a noble or at least didn't have to starve to death. Cut to the modern day, and a lot of the entitled rich people who are fat off the sweat and blood of the working class also happen to be blond!

In other words, Ogre Battle is kind of like Tales of Symphonia in that it manages to have race wars despite (almost) everyone being white.



Next time: Back to Volmus Mine, to put an end to the revolution once and for all! Right? Right!