Part 19: UPDATE 14: Warriors of the Fallen Kingdom

UPDATE DOUBLE POSTS ARE THE BEST DOUBLE POSTS



Tonight we're getting right to business. We're overdue at Mylesia; I bet the Western Region has made some serious headway by now!

Update 14: Warriors of the Fallen Kingdom



I think you can probably tell where this is going.



: "It seems that the enemy troops are led by Rhade. Well, since that thrashing you gave him earlier... He'll want some payback."

oh boy oh boy

I'm so ecstatic at the prospect of getting to hit Rhade with a sword that I don't even blame you for getting jumped by assholes anymore! And I'm not even going to question what the hell thrashing you just referenced regardless of how definitely sure I am that no such thrashing occurred!



: "Castle Dunkweld will be our headquarters in this operation. We will march on Castle Burgund, a day and a half west. We must take the castle. Our intelligence indicates that the concentration of enemy troops increases the further west we go. They're taking a defensive stance. We will have to outwit them."

By "outwit" Hugo naturally means "march our troops to where those troops are and win the ensuing battles." He knows how this goes by now.

: "They're mulling about, they look like they're lacking direction. As I said earlier, the units are led by Rhade... He will win at any costs, be careful. ...As you may know already, they've been enlisting more experienced men. They'll be tough, but don't give up. Avoid unnecessary skirmishes, and use your men to their potential."

Theoretically we were sent over here in a hurry because the Western Division was launching increasing attacks on our western front and they'd break through if we didn't do something about it and soon. I'm not sure how that jives with arriving here to find the private army of some asshole from the Central Division mulling about without direction, but I'm not exactly complaining here.

: "They've settled into a castle in the Highlands of Soathon. To keep them from amassing power, we will have to retake the castle quickly."

not sure how that relates to this mission in mylesia but ok whatev



We begin the mission proper to find this flying unit mulling pretty directly toward our HQ. Starting to wonder exactly what I'm paying Hugo for anyway. He's a Vultan. Blah blah class description blah.

Vultan

The standard Lawful Hawkman upgrade. Faster than Ravens; less Dexterity than them, though, which makes them not as good in the back row. Pretty much exactly interchangeable with them in all other ways. Two attacks in the front; one in the middle; two Wind Shots in the back. That's the same magic attack Griffins get in the back. They're not very good at it either.



Despite the fact that he's a flyer and doesn't have to worry about terrain or anything, he somehow manages to fight Dio sideways. He gets away and uses a healing item and I seethe silently. Maybe it's about time I started outfitting my units with those too? Meh. Later.



Also coming at me down the path is Sir Rafa the Oddly-Named and his squard of... Grapplers. Yep. In the mission entitled "Warriors of the Fallen Kingdom" we have to fight Bolmaukans. Been a while since we had any of that moral ambiguity, huh? GET READY FOR LOTS OF IT.

Grappler

Apparently the only possible vocations for a Bolmaukan as far as this game is concerned are "miner" and "Grappler." If it's a Bolmaukan and we're fighting it, it's a Grappler. Grapplers look and act a lot like Ninjas and are pretty much glass cannons. Can deal some pretty good damage but can't really take a hit. Be careful not to crit them into the back row -- from there they get Fatal Dance, which is basically a really big physical hit.



In recognition of our first combat with the Nirdamese, Rafa was asked to say a few words. He kept it short and to the point.



: "Fear not the pain! Fear not death! You have no other choice, but to defeat them! Now, go!!"

wow

quite a pep talk

"You should probably kill those guys, 'cause, you know, you have to, seeing as how you're slaves and I'm your boss. So yeah get on that."



From his position behind the Bolmaukans where he can keep an eye on them, Rafa makes himself a perfect demonstration subject for Ionosphere, the Wind/Water combo magic.



Basically Jager and Sexwale make this big ol' ball of whatsit and throw it at a guy, and then when it gets there it poofs out in all directions and severely injures him. Has a chance to inflict Sleep for some reason.



Even after getting hit with two Ionospheres, Rafa keeps coming. I guess he is a slave-driver after all.



OH SHIT

sorry about that bro, you were just like standing right in front of rafa and i need to get over there so i can kill him



Yeah let's.... just try to leave these two guys alone and move on. They got nothing against me, I got nothing against them. Why can't we be friends? GO, GO AND BE FREE.



Zooming in at supersonic speeds to attack my headquarters are two more flying units. Dallas's formation reminds me an awful lot of Rafa's. I wonder if those are Bolmaukan Hawkmen?



While failing to kill Redford (I think she polished off the Griffin but that's about it) the neutral character Ivory somehow manages to capture the neutral stronghold Idorf. yeah i dunno



The western stronghold of Tubulk is guarded (and I use that term loosely) by Pelline, a cleric who apparently never really got the whole "hurting people" part of war. She didn't even put those Soldiers in the same row.



Just wanted to capture on film the exact moment when Pelline became literally unable to win any battles. No offense left, no damage dealt, no battles won.



And yet, even when I killed her fairy and left her all alone in the world, she just kept marching forward, to get stabbed with spears, heal herself, and get stabbed again. This is one soldier who really loves her job. She poses no threat to me whatsoever; I really can't justify bothering her any further than I already have.



WAR IS HELL



While all that was going on, these three flying units showed a surprising amount of coordination and all attacked me at once. I guess I forgot to get a shot of the Raven coming in from the south. It's probably not important.



See?



Flying units get where they're going pretty quickly, but if you don't raise them right, that just means they'll die even faster.



Oh hey, look, a couple of camping enemy units directly in the path of this column of troops I just HAPPEN to be sending over to Tubulk. How convenient!~~~



wait

shit



CURSE YOU, SOULLESS AUTOMATONS

WHAT HAVE YOUR UNFEELING HANDS WROUGHT UPON THESE POOR WRETCHES



My reward for being a huge jerk is a really fancy whip. I know, game, I'm a terrible person, you don't have to rub it in. Yeah, I was entertaining the idea of making this a no-Bolmaukans-killed run. In retrospect that wasn't really a realistic goal.



On top of that, I couldn't even finish off the unit I really wanted to kill there and this stupid river was keeping me from getting to them quickly. Instead I had to send Asnabel into the mountains after them. If you have never attempted to chase a flying unit into some mountains, let me assure you it is an extremely trying experience.



Redford came up to bother me again, but as soon as I sent Guy out to meet him, I guess he... changed his mind? He's playing hard to get or something.



Specifically, he ran to the strong hold of Lehoboth, which is guarded by Salome the Valkyrie.



Salome's strategy of not deigning to turn to face my attacking unit actually works out pretty well for her. From this angle, her Valks all get to attack and her Grapplers get to use Fatal Dance. This is me attempting to catch Fatal Dance on camera, but as a still shot it looks really unimpressive. Basically where they'd normally hit you once, if they're Dancing they hit you five times. Thankfully this does not translate to five times the damage.



I mean, I still KILLED her, but, y'know, it was a nice effort.

_{(Typo of the update: Fetal Dance)}



The center of the map, where Hugo told me I'd have to "outwit" the enemy or some bullshit like that, is guarded by Wyatt and Dreyfus. I'm pretty sure Dreyfus is the result of the game trolling you. The Unit Leader is basically useless and will die instantly. But then if you want the expees from the rest of the unit you'll have to fight Golems in the front row OVER and OVER until they're dead.



Hannibal is guarding the central stronghold of Phuntua. That's... a lot of whips.

Beast Master

The advanced form of the Beast Tamer, the Beast Master is a pretty cool old guy and an okay fighter. His primary use is leading a Beast unit, naturally; he's a bit poor on defense, though, so put him behind something big and snarly. Two attacks from anydangplace.



So we start seeing Ninja Masters using advanced magic before we see actual mages use it. Never noticed that before. I think the specific spell chosen by Ninja Art is chosen to be whichever element will do the most damage, which is pretty convenient. Here he uses Crag Press, advanced Earth magic involving dropping a big rock on people. This deals Magic damage rather than Physical for some reason.



Elgorea falls without a fight of any kind. I'm not complaining.



I'm not falling for your trap, game, this is just to make you get this unit out of my face while I do important stuff. <>



Sometimes Ninja Art decides (as I often do myself) that the most damaging element to attack with is Bane. Wyatt is using Dark Quest. It's pretty fucked up.



He still ends up pretty dead, though.



This whole time Ivory has been chasing units with dead leaders through the mountains. I'm pretty glad I'm not her.



Okay hey guess what's totally not worth my time!



If you'll excuse me I'm just gonna go do ANYTHING ELSE.



Look at all those whips. Yeesh. Are those golems still available?



Two full rounds of being aggressively whipped by several shirtless men later, Dio liberated Phuntua. Yeah I'd say he earned it.



Pictured: Leia being badass. I'm not sure how you can dissipate all the force behind those gigantic fists using a tiny piece of metal buckled to your upper arm, but she did it like four or five times over the course of two battles.



The area north of the river, at this point inhabited by a chillin' Asnabel and nothing else, is suddenly utilized by these two units trying to sneak around my main force. It's not gonna work.



Tallgeese and Bluemage, using Earth/Water books, get to work together to produce a Clay Assault.



Basically this brackish water snake dealie Slinkies on over to its target...



...and erupts in a big geyser. Since it's basically an Icky Water attack, it causes poison occasionally.



Asnabel himself took a bunch of hits in that fight; better buy a Heal Leaf to get ready for round 2!



hey wait

come back here



Aw.

I guess these two units, in an obvious desperation move, were meant to be beelining straight for my HQ. Montana the Paladin got tired and stopped at Elgorea. Constance doesn't have time for sleep.



Yeah wow. She really got within ten game minutes' march of my castle before just collapsing on her face.



Freddie had to actually GO OUTSIDE to kill her. And he'd just gotten comfy, too!



Montana was still pretty tired and Asnabel knocked him off Elgorea pretty easily. Minor setback.



While all this was going on, Ivory took Harraive in the South, again without a fight. I'll take it!



Drake the Fencer is standing guard in front of Rhade's castle. He was in the way.



Roughly ten billion years later, Asnabel finally takes this last town so I can get around to fighting the boss. Note that the rest of Drake's unit is still wandering around in the south there? Yeah they're all Bolmaukans and they're out of my way now, I think I might as well finally not be incredibly evil and let them just chill out in that forest. Rhade, you busy?



A similar setup to Godeslas's unit, but something tells me Rhade will be a bit tougher than Goddy was. Rhade is a "Superior Knight," meaning "better than a basic knight but we're not gonna call him a Paladin because he's too much of a prick." He still leans Lawful, though. INTERESTING.

Dio, go kill this asshole.



: "You not only turned against us, but made enemies with Lodis. You still think you'll win? And look at these folks... Who forced them into fighting? It was you!! Why don't you think about others, and not just yourselves..."

well

If we want to split hairs, TECHNICALLY the guy who loaded them on a ship or whatever, marched them here, and poked them in the back with swords until they agreed to fight me was YOU, but I understand you're not exactly interested in the complete causality of the fact at the moment.

No, you're more focused on how selfish and inconsiderate of me it was to join this army because following your orders was hell on my conscience. Of course.

really i should have asked if it was ok with you first

: "What right do you have to say such things!? ...You force everything on the weak, while you do nothing by yourselves. ...You only take part in things that benefit you with no risk involved."

Dio is an advocate for high-stakes capitalism apparently!

(Dio apparently does not get a unique dialogue with Rhade. I was hoping he did. Oh well. )

: "...Don't you realize that you're doing exactly the same thing? You see us as the only reason for your so-called suffering! You blame us for everything! What have you done about it? Nothing! Nothing but constant bitching... Learn how powerless, selfish, and foolish you are, and accept your fate!!"

Apparently killing is a form of bitching now! ...actually that kind of makes sense.



Hm. Rhade is a tough son of a bitch, I will grant him that.



Time to tip the scales a little.



Jesus, this guy's worse than Debonair.

(S) Leia: Make him pay.



Atta girl.



aw man he's not dead



: "But don't forget! You brought this suffering to the kingdom! If not for you, Lodis... the Bolmaukans would never have been involved in this war! Keep that in mind, damn it!!"

I never quite understood this line of thinking that seems to be prevalent in movie and video game villains. "If I perpetrate <heinous act X> in the name of combating the threat presented by <heroic figure Y>, that makes <heinous act X> their fault somehow!"

At any rate if Rhade wasn't such a tremendous douche and was a little bit nicer to Freddie or a little bit less focused on wholesale slaughter maybe just maybe this war wouldn't still be happening at ALL, but vv



Then he runs away lets us go. Sigh. Next time, Rhade!



I guess Rhade had a shield? Which he dropped? Anyway this shield is better than the Kite Shield and is also ideal for Fire-elementals to use since it gives some Water resistance.



At this point, we find ourselves back on the world map with access to our next destination, with absolutely no fanfare. We don't get to see Yumil navelgazing or Ankiseth being cool or anything this time. WELP. NEXT TIME ON OGRE BATTLE: More moral ambiguity; less Rhade.