Onimusha: Warlords Part #6 - Episode VI: Keep Away From Children

Part 6: Episode VI: Keep Away From Children

Episode VI: Keep Away From Children

When last we left our hero, he'd met the game's main cornball villain and battled a tentacle rape monstrosity named Reynaldo. With that said, let's continue...

Right, then. Sam's got his second of three weapon upgrades - the Enryuu. I miss the days where Capcom just named stuff "Fire Sword" "Handgun" and "M. Bison". I still don't know what the 'M' stands for and I'm perfectly fine with that.

The Enryuu is the strongest of the three main weapons, but it is also the slowest. Being a ridiculously large blade, it's got some decent distance going for it. However, it only does a three strike combo and quite a few enemies can score a hit between each slow swing.

On the plus side, shoving a foot wide piece of steel in a monster's crotch never gets old.

In addition, the Enryuu's slow speed makes it much more difficult to score Issen attacks with it. It's not impossible. But, you'd be much better off using one of the smaller weapons if you're using the tactic.

Lastly, Enryuu has a fire based attack. It's not quite as powerful as Raizan's lightning combo. But, it has the advantage of having a wider radius of attack and hitting multiple enemies, if they're grouped together.

Heading back into Osric's old lair, we see the monster has finally decided to disintegrate and give off the full bounty of his souls. Unfortunately, his delayed demise only provides to show off a new, very annoying enemy: the Gyarans.

These monsters cannot physically harm Sam. Instead, they devour souls of enemies in the area, much like the Shrek Gauntlet. In addition, they can latch onto said gauntlet and suck the souls Sam has already collected out of it. To make them an even greater gaping asshole of goatse proportions, after stealing all the souls they can muster, the creatures have the ability to teleport out of the area, taking all their bounty with them. Needless to say, these things suck.

To make matters worse, if one decides to float out of Sam's reach at this stage in the game, he's shit out of luck.

Assholish enemy designs aside, Sam can now unlock doors with fire loogies. Which means our next destination should be fairly clear.

But first, we might as well upgrade the fire orb, Kouen. You are actually required to upgrade the fire orb before the lightning orb, to progress in the next portion of the game. So, might as well get it out of the way now.

After our sidetrip to the moat, we can finally enter the castle proper, now. I'm sure the soldiers have heavily fortified it to ward off the demon siege. It'll be nice to finally get some back-up.

...Or not.

Serving as the doorman is yet another new enemy: the Zombie Knights. These are basically the zombies' moody big brothers. They have a very slow attack speed and rarely ever move from their spots. Since, a monster standing around brooding while holding a dead guy's head is the fast track to looking tough, in the survival horror circles.

Just ask our old buddy Nemmy.

Zombie 2.0 also has the nasty ability to break Sam's guard and chokeslam his ass. It's a real slobberknocker.

Luckily, zombies are slightly less than fireproof and our new toy is quite useful when encountering these pricks.

Now, it's time to get down to some exploration of this joint. We've got a door to the north, southwest, and northwest. I like to move nearest from entry point and make my way up. So, the southwest door it is.

This...leads to a corridor and a door locked by two electric loogie. I'd prefer we explore as much as we can before fooling about with magic upgrade tomfoolery. So, let's try the northwest door, back in the main hall.

Ah. A save room. You may notice the abundance of blue souls. That little box, next to the magic mirror, comes fully equipped with infinite blue souls, for easy magic restoration. Making the main hall a great place to easily farm enemies. There are several of these little refill stations about the game. But, they are few and far between.

Speaking of upgrades, Sam has enough souls to raise Raizan to Level 2. It gets a spiffy new make-over, an upgrade to attack, speed, and range. Also, the weapons combo gets slightly longer. This will make things quite a bit easier, for a while. Also, it's a great way to pick up chicks. I met my wife by using the 'Hey baby, I just upgraded my electric sword' line.

Bonus points if it's used during a thunderstorm. <finger snap>

Let's see if there's anything else in this room. There was some Medicine in the box over there. Eh. Looks like that was...

DO NOT WANT!!!

...Let us just quietly back out of this room and never speak of that again... We are heading north... North we are heading... We did not just see a man hanging from the ceiling via a rope possibly linked to his asshole... Moving right along...

For such a supposed badass demon slaying samurai, this guy gets startled easily.

"..."

_{"...Mother of God."}

The boy wrestles free and runs off.

"Always playing hard to get. You scamp!"

"Look... I'm short... I'm ugly... I'm not getting any younger... I'm wearing pink shirt under my armor... I'm a man with needs. Don't judge me!"

"..."

"No. I'm not molesting little boys either. So, I'm failing to see how you could ask me the same thing in any possible way."

"Touché."

"Please stop making that motion with your hand..."

"It's not that big of a country. Where else am I going to be? Detroit?"

Meet Tokichiro (err...the subtitles seem to insist he's named Tokechiro, despite most sources saying otherwise...), a minor villain of this game, who gains quite a bit more importance as the series progresses. He goes on to be a mecha suit riding primary villain, in the new Onimusha series... I wish I was making that up.

"What was that?! Was that you?!"

"No. Who said that?!"

"Me. The narrator."

"The narrator? We haven't had any narrator so far! Why would you only show up now?"

"Well... That's what the script says."

"Are you going to be narrating from here on out?"

"Err... No... Just that line and the epilogue..."

"That seems a bit out of place."

"Look, I just work here. Maybe it's an editing mistake?"

"An editing mistake...in my favor!"

"Look, could you just get back to the story?"

"Fine. Fine."

Besides Guildenstern, ten minutes ago, telling you Nobunaga is in league with the demons... I couldn't imagine.

"Except when whiny cousins contact me. Then I drop everything and throw myself into life threatening situations, at their request. But, other than that, it's mine to command. Well, there were the ogres that have me killing demons and eating their souls because they told me to... But...other than that!"

"I'm not going to give you any incentive to do so or come off as any less creepy in my offering. Now, if you'll excuse me. I'm going to walk off cackling and hunt for little children, again."

"You do know you're walking toward a magically sealed door I can only open with my gauntlet, right?"

"Y-Yes... I...just got turned around, is all. You're a sharp one, Akechi. That's why I want you."

Education Station:

"I'm Dr. Cyrus Norman."

"And I'm Dr. Albert Wily."

"Oh good, the other Dr. Albert W."

"I detect sarcasm in your tone. I think we got off to the wrong foot."

"Quite."

"Well, get along with your lesson. I won't bother you."

"Well, I'm glad to see your absence has made you a bit more civil. Today's subject is Samanosuke Akechi. Samanosuke was better known as Hidemitsu Akechi and was the nephew of Mitsuhide Akechi, the man historically accredited with killing Nobunaga Oda. Historically, there isn't much more relevant on Hidemitsu, other than he was present during the Battle of Honnō-ji, in which Nobunaga fell."