Part 7: Episode VII: Improper Use of Scissors
Episode VII: Improper Use of Scissors
When last we left our hero, he'd just encountered a couple of new enemies and a creepy old man with and affinity for young boys. With that said, let's continue...
Tokichiro seems to have vanished, leaving Sam to explore the area. Let's try the door that doesn't have a demonic gob of snot on it, shall we?
This brings us to a storeroom/armory of some sorts. Unfortunately, none of the armor or weapons is suitable for demon slaying... This, coming from a guy who didn't have armor or weapons suitable for demon slaying a hour or two ago and still has really changed up his gear a whole lot.
With that said, there is something that is usable: a file!
Journal #3
"Rosie O'Donnell..."
Sir, if your hand goes anywhere near your pants, we are ending this file right here and now.
How do you manage to be out of sight of demons, but close enough that you can come across a rogue finger? I'd like to think the demons were just fucking with the guy hiding behind some rocks. Tossing a finger or a toe at first, to get the poor sap a taste for flesh. Then as time progressed, it was nothing but balls. Bon Appétit!
Sam heads back to the central room and heads through the magic locked door.
A couple of less than eventful corridors later and we come across this odd little door.
It's like there's a war against nouns in this script. In any case, we won't be using this for a very long time.
Our investigation is interrupted by a high speed ninja chase.
"Crap. It's a pincer attack!"
"Who are you...?"
"Yes, young man. What is your name?" "No, no. I was talking to you. Who are you? Tch... Whatever... Alright, boy. Now... Now..."
"Mother of God..."
"That other samurai. Did he do this to you?! That monster! That demon!"
Meet Yumemaru, this game's
"Look at the doll, Yumemaru. Can you point to where the man touched you on this doll. Concentrate. Was it under the hat?"
Unlike most mediums, Yumemaru isn't cleverly feigning ignorance to build up to a later plot reveal. He's just a dumbass, like most children.
"Can you tell me why the ninja girl is wearing orange? If you can tell me that, I'll talk." "Well... Not exactly... But..."
"Then Yumemaru is flying the coop, bitches! Honk, honk!"
The pair watch as the child runs off into the night. His stubby little legs take him a good ten seconds just to make it to the other side of the room...
"You're the worst fucking ninja on the planet! You know that?"
"If you should find Princess Yuki, just come and get me. At the rate you're going, you're liable to trip over a chair and accidentally stab her in the throat." "Understand."Kaede runs off.
"That Oda clan gig is sounding more and more tempting..."Education Station:
"Once again, I'm Dr. Cyrus Norman and...I don't seem to have a second commentator today. He left while mumbling something about the lack of humor in thinning hair or something of the like. You don't see me complaining."
"Today's subject is the haircut the characters Tokichiro and Yumemaru possess - the chonmage. The chonmage was a traditional Japanese hairstyle originally adopted by samurai. The characteristic shaved pate was to allow an open area of the skin to breath on the heavily armored samurai. Though, having bangs in front was not as common, they functioned to catch sweat before it rolled into the samurai's eyes. The remaining hair, which was long, was oiled and tied into a small ponytail which was folded onto the top of the head in the characteristic topknot, to hold the helmet in place during movement. Though, that was its original function, the style was later adopted by the higher social classes as a status symbol (with the shaved portion likely to hide the onset of baldness). The hairstyle later defused to become a common look, minus the shaven portion. It is still used today, in a sort, by sumo wrestlers."
"I never asked to be bald. I used to have a long, sexy, flowing mane. That goddamn woolly-mammoth, Light. He thinks he's so damn special with his full head of hair and his big grandpa beard. He flaunts it! The bastard flaunts it! Let's see how well he deals with a robot that wields the power of acidic hair spray. Then we'll see who'll have the last laugh!" "With that, I think this session is over..."Tune in Next Time For:
Puzzles!
Time Limits!!
Death!!!
Bonus Content:
Yumemaru and the Haircut of Doom