Part 23: Part Twenty: Look Maw, I'm On TV!

Part Twenty: Look Maw, I'm On TV!

Last time on Persona 2...

The Persona crew teams up with Ellen in order to meet Wang Long Chizuru and discover her connection to the New World Order. In the process, they meet another old friend of Ellen's - Brad, who's currently a popular entertainer. After gearing themselves up and collecting some rumors, they're just about ready to head into Sumaru TV.
Note that I said "just about", however. First off, we've got a couple more loose ends to tie up. For instance, we spread a rumor earlier that Salam Ladeen collects maps; let's go see if that changed anything with him.

I have no more interest in money. I now live to collect maps...So, what would you like?

Well, let's see if we can help the guy out. He's rich. Helping rich people tends to be a pretty solid idea.
Miss, where are you going now? ...Hmm, I don't know that place. It's a new place! Can you check it out? Miss, please make a map of there!

Ah! So you'll make a map for me? Thank you. here's a blank map. Just keep walking, and complete the map. If it is good, I'll trade it for my important card.

Again, mapmaking is an enormous pain in the ass, but the rewards make it worthwhile. Next up, we check out Etheria, where they've started a new set of beauty treatments.

We have special results only available from this spa! Every treatment brings out your charm. No demon will be a match for you!

These increase your encounter likelihood with demons of different personalities; they're basically useless. Kaori has new aromatherapy treatments, so let's check this out next.

By putting on a certain scent, it changes your surroundings and you will have new meetings. Please give it a try.

These change the encounter rates - each treatment corresponds to the raising and lowering of a certain Arcanum of demon. There are in fact uses for this, but actually remembering to reapply the treatments as they run out tends to be a huge pain.
We also obtained several open-ended rumors; these are vaguely worded, and so it's impossible to know what will happen when we spread them until we actually do it. Typically there are two outcomes to these, one desirable, one not so much.

Parabellum, for instance, is rumored to have hired a bouncer recently.

In the back, there is a man who works...I don't wish to use violence on customers, so...how about it?


The "bad" result of this rumor leads to the prices of all the weapons and drinks rising; apparently the bartender had hired the bouncer in order to keep order in the bar after he raised the prices. This does, however, add two new drinks to the menu - the Front Sight and Rear Sight. This sucks; let's see the other potential path this rumor could take.

The guns we keep here do not limit targets. An illogical design and destruction power make them useful, even against demons. Great, huh? You can even destroy demons. ...Well, if there were such things in this world as demons. Handling items this powerful worries me. I have a very powerful member in the back. A bar with a bodyguard is no joke...

The Dragoon is painfully expensive, but worth every penny once we can afford it, as we can remodel it into a pretty solid weapon later on.

In the next random split rumor, apparently the saleslady at Rosa Candida was swept away by some sort of wave. That can't possibly be good.

Wait, who are you? My sister? Oh, I'm the younger sister. My sister went on a vacation to Bali island, and was swallowed by high seas...Such an awkward big sister. No matter how beautiful the clothes are, if you can't wear it, there's no point...Um...? No, my sister's just fine! She's living happily on the island she ended up at. She seems to be running around naked. This does nothing but turn the Rosa Candida saleslady into a palette swa--er, replace her with her sister who just happens to look like a palette swap. Let's see what the other option does.

Right now in Paris there is a new wave! Can you tell? It's a wave of new fashion! Ahh, I wish I could let someone know! No, that will be my mission! I will start from this Sumaru city! And you will be the pioneer!

Much like the Dragoon, the Best Dresser is actually strong enough to merit the ridiculous cost, plus it can be upgraded later on. Shame we don't have the money right now.

In the next rumor, apparently the Shiraishi Lady's realized her dream! Let's find out what exactly her dream was.

...To write an autobiography. That was my dream. One of my customers works for a publisher and they wanted to put my book out. Oh, I was so lucky. You can't just chase your dream. You have to make it come true. ...Wanna read it? I'll read some for you.

Oh dear lord. I had been a warrior since I can remember. The one who saved me as a child at the last moment of the Nomanov dynasty was a soldier from the West. That was him... Did he save me because it was his duty? Or...No one knows for sure now. The last memory I have is fighting together for Socialism. I threw my past away and drifted to Paris. I put my life as a supermodel behind me to become the last idol of the 20th century. It was nobody's fault...I just couldn't reciprocate the President's feelings. My only place was that glamorous stage. An idol...that's all I wanted to be...I knew there was nowhere for me to live in peace, but I couldn't stay in this world...

Er...yeah. We'll be sure to pick it up. Let's see the other half of this rumor.

Dreams have meaning when you chase them. Didn't I realize my dream, you ask? Not yet, I'm still in the middle of it.

This adds the new Combo Plate meal to the menu at Shiraishi; it adds a ridiculous +15 STR to a character while it's in effect. It's honestly not as handy as it sounds, but it's nice to have the option of using it.

We've taken care of most of the crazy rumors; the only one left is the one about Padparacha, and we'll look into that soon enough. For now, though, it's time to finally meet up with Chizuru.

We head into Sumaru TV and proceed to the dressing rooms - Chizuru's got to be in one of them.

Not this one, however - instead, it looks like we've run into that pop group that was all the rage back at Seven Sisters.


Lisa looks very familiar for some reason. Wonder why.


Mami here isn't quite as familiar, but she has an awesome name.

I'll ask Ms. Chizuru about Suou, okay?

"Mi-Po" makes her sound like a Pokemon for some reason.


Damn, judging people based on deja vu? Lovely, Maya, lovely. Doesn't seem like the Muses are going to get us anywhere, so let's move on.


In the next dressing room, we've managed to meet Jun's mother; the one who looks like the rumor demon Reiko, remember? She's honestly not that creepy.

Baofu, however, is.

After a bit more searching, we finally come across Chizuru's dressing room.

The crew heads on in, and they immediately find the black cat from earlier.

The cat stares and purrs...

...which causes a massive flash. When everyone can see again, the world's black and white. The cat purrs again, and runs off.

Isn't that some kind of Chinese dish?
Ulala: Kimon Tonkou?
Ellen: It's an illusion spell that branches from Feng Shui. If you don't pass through 8 gates with talismans in order, you can't escape. Fantastic! This is my first time too!

We're trapped in an evil spell, and she's thrilled?


Baofu can be sarcastic and a cock at the same time? Who would've thought?
Katsuya: So if we go through these "8 gates", then we can escape?
Ellen: That's right! The numbers 1-8 are written on the Tonkou talismans in Ba Gua letters.

Ellen: Ha! Little did they know I'm an expert on the occult.

Ellen: In ancient sorcery, a mirror projects another world. I think this is a spectacle from reality.
Katsuya: Then, can we contact Brad and the others on the other side?!
Ellen: Has anyone told you that you worry too much? I'm up for this if you are...

And we're off. The most obvious place to find the first talisman is Studio 1, so we head over there.

And lo and behold...

Ellen: Nice try, but we'll get out of here.

Black Cat: But the true terror of the Kimon Tonkou begins now. Can you really escape...? (snicker)
Ulala: What did it mean by "True Terror? There's something worse than that?


Well, the first gate was Studio 1, obviously the second gate is Studio 2. Let's head on over.

We head on inside, but...

...we're kicked right back out. Whoops.

Ellen: We'll have to rely on Brad...Ms. Amano...I'm very sorry, but let's look for his dressing room.

We find it before long, and we cut to the real world upon entering.
Brad: Hey, how's this, boss?!


Yuki: Y, You're right! You look great...So, let's hurry it up already!


Ellen: I'm sorry to bother you in the middle of this, but I would like to ask you for a favor...
Yuki: So you want us to find that talisman here, and tell you the symbol written on it?

Ellen: Really? Then that's the 2nd gate..That's strange. Can you check and see what is going on with the other talismans?


Katsuya: Studio 2 being wrong means...that the real world is correct?
Ellen: There could be a secret rule...if we could figure it out, there wouldn't be a need to involve Brad and the others.
Ulala: But if reality is correct, then why don't we just have Brad tell us each time?
Baofu: Damn, that's going to take forever...There has to be a better way...
I wonder...

We head out on our way to Studio 5, and nearly immediately run into Trish's Fountain.
Trish: I call it "Trish's Ice Cream"! It's very sweet! And delicious! Once you eat it, you can't stop! It's true! Eat up, and get brain-freeze!

Yup, just like that rumor we spread earlier said, Trish sells ice cream now. It's fucking expensive, so we pass on it. Wouldn't expect anything else from Trish.

It doesn't take long afterward until we run into the Studio 5.
Ellen: Hmm...this seems to be the second gate. But why? 5 is written on there...

Damn straight, Baofu.


Am I the only one who finds Katsuya's cat obsession a little creepy? Anyway, time to see if we can find the third gat--HOLY CHRIST

We're not two steps out of the second gate before we run right into Reiko.

Er...we can't talk her out of this...how did the password go?
The R in Reiko is for...uh...Rasterbation!
The E in Reiko is for...er...Ephedra!
The I in Reiko is for...Ichthyosaur!
The K in Reiko is for...erm...King of Cartoons!
The O in Reiko is for...Olestra!
Whew, I think that was it, we're safe...

...OH GOD NONE OF THAT WAS RIGHT! Reiko's not actually all that strong, fortunately. This is the Curse attack, which leaves everyone but Katsuya and Ulala unscathed since it's Dark.

This is Dark Baptism, which...doesn't appear to do anything.

We blast Reiko with Tower Inferno, and...

...she goes down, rewarding us with her umbrella. Who needs stupid passwords when violence solves problems much more efficiently?

We make it to the third gate shortly after beating up Reiko.

Ulala barely gets a chance to start checking around for the cat before we hear somebody else enter the gate.

This scene basically speaks for itself.







Yes, a stalker. A stalker with a fucking chainsaw. Are you convinced this is the best fucking game ever yet?



We are going to fight a crazed horror movie chainsaw stalker RPG-style. Try to control your orgasms.

Much like in any good horror movie, you can't talk him out of his murderous rampage.

He's not all that strong, sadly, even when he hacks off one of Baofu's limbs with his chainsaw.

His other attacks aren't very impressive either - this is Stagnant Air, which I believe is supposed to simulate the chainsaw stalker farting. Lovely. :v:

He dies to fusions just like any other enemy, except his expressions are much more exciting.

Ulala: That'll teach ya not to mess with us girls!
Baofu: But he does have some cajones, coming all this way...

So we carry on into the TV station, heading toward the fourth gate. Shame the chainsaw stalker died so easily, he was a pretty fun character.