Part 20: PART NINETEEN: KITTIES! OH, AND I GUESS MORE KILLER ROBOTS.

PART NINETEEN: KITTIES! OH, AND I GUESS MORE KILLER ROBOTS.



: Boy, it sure is still freezing around here.

: V-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-very...



: Perhaps now would be a good time to embark on the Ice Digger.

: Oh yeah!



: T-t-t-turn on the heat-t-ter...

: I dunno, it's pretty nice in here already and-

: Just do it!!

: ...right, turning it on.



Let's play with our new toy! It works the same way as the Landrover does in combat.



Just attacking lets you pound a single enemy with lasers.



Napalm launches an orange recolor of St. Fire.



And N-Sphere does...uh...this. I'm guessing it's just another form of Gra, and that the the Land Rover and Ice Digger specials are essentially the same things.



More importantly, though, it can break through those nasty 'walls' of ice, which are more like bumps and you could clearly fit a person or ten in between each ice mountain there. At any rate, we're heading north.



And, really, since I HATE the Dezolis overworld, here's a map of where we're going today, thanks to me copying it off of www.pscave.com. We're starting in the bottom corner, which is where Tyler is.

Hope that's not too jarring, because I cannot be assed to try and narrate the navigation of this hellhole.



: I wonder what's in here?

: Pants, hopefully.



: Hey, it's actually kinda nice in here.



: It would appear that the local wildlife concurs.



Hungry Moles have some fun animations on them. When they attack, they drop into their hole, and suddenly leap up above their target, slashing on their way back down. They also know Doubleslash, which works the same way, and a Needle move where they roll into a ball and shoot pointy things at Chaz's face.



The game has also started to give out tons of EXP, which I sure can't argue with.



See? Stairs! The most advanced structures known to man can't seem to pull this off, but here they are occuring naturally in a goddamn cave. Stupid Palmans!



Next to the stairs is some floor medicine. Yay!

Not much really happens for a few screens, although...



...this sure is nice to have again.



Hey, the Flatterplants grew up and flew all the way to Dezoris!



Unfortunately, I squished them before they could do anything, so they are still a mystery to me.



: My eyes!

See? Told ya!





From Chaz's pain, Rune figures out how to cast the best Ice technique in the game, which a bunch of you keep saying I should've had already. Though, considering how easy this game has been for me this time around, I can't really see why.



Ohmygodkitties!



: Wow! It's a cat! And the cat talked!

: Why does it sound like both of these things equally impress you?

: We are musk cats. We can talk, meow. We get some kind of a feeling from you, meow. Go in and meet the old man, meow.

And then they scurry out of my way. D'awww!



There's more of them! And they're all scampering about! Holy fuck I'm the girliest man alive!



: Oh, uh, erm... I mean, gee, I wonder why?



: can enter this valley, meow.

: Like, they physically can't come in? Or do you just mean that kittens block the path?

\

: And you have no idea how grateful I am for that.





: Ooooh, I wonder what it is?



: in this world, meow.

:



: ...heh heh, only two thousand years too late, huh?



: Aww...



: I'm imitating the old man, meow.

: You are so precious!



: Ho..

: ..ly...

: ....huh? What? Let's pet the kitty!

: There's not a bag big enough to put that cat back into! Ha ha!

: That wasn't even painfully bad. You're slipping, old timer.



: Hmm, there is good in your eyes. No wonder you were let through. It's really strange... I have a feeling that this is not the first time we've met.

: Cough, hack, wheeze! Let's move along, shall we?

: I feel good about putting this in your care. This is a treasure that has been passed on from generation after generation. From myself to...uh...myself, mostly. Take it with you. It's the Silver Tusk!

: Wow, an ancient mystical relic?

: Yup! We bought it at a store somewhere!



While I'm not entirely sure how she holds it, it counts as a claw for Rika. And it's exceptional against monsters that take 1 hp from other weapons. Also, I'm pretty sure it's a holy weapon, despite it's original store bought status.

And in case it wasn't obvious, we just talked to PS1's Myau.

Next stop...



The free healing spaceport!



Southeast-ish of the Myst Vale is the next town, Zosa.



: is our special product!



: We made improvements to the Dezo Owl species so that they can be bred in captivity.



Holy crap, first kittens, and now penguins? This game knows all my secrets!

: Oh! It's so cute!

: Rune, do you think it's cute?

: Not really.



: Some Parmanian town has been completely destroyed! I wonder what happened?



: I've seen a creepy tower east of here.

: Mm-hmm. Let's ignore this information for now!

: Why, you hairy little monkey!



Oh my, yes.



Yes! Not only are these weapons strong, they also cast Esper spells when used as items! Flamesword uses Flaeli, Thunderclaw uses a single-target Tandle, Tornado Dagger uses a single target Hewn, and Dream-rod...okay, so it casts the Bindwa tech, but hey, close enough!



This probably does something too, but I honestly have no freaking idea. I'm clearly the expert needed to LP this!



: We do use their eggs for food though.

The vegans would have a field day, I'm sure. Damn hippies. To the item store!



: Chaz, let's buy some penguin food!

: I dunno...

: Pleeeeease?

: Well, okay.

: It is imperative that we restore the Dezolian climate with haste. I suggest we resume our travels.



: ...hmm. For some reason, I am unable to walk further.







: It's not really stealing since it's supposed to be for feeding them anyway. I mean, you weren't going to eat it, right?

: ...

: Right?

: ...well...

:



: The Garuberk Tower is located beyond the forest of carnivorous trees. Apparently it's not a place that you can get to!

Carniverous trees? Where have I heard something like that before?



Oh, fuck.



: The Dezolis Penguin will walk around town with you! This dream-like experience is yours for only 500 meseta!

:

: ...ah, why not?

: Well then, enjoy! Be careful because the Penguin will leave if you exit town or go inside a house!



And thus, a penguin joins the party. Sorta. He's still an NPC after all, but with a follow routine. Eh.



: Er, yes?

: In that case let me tell you something. If you go to the northwest, there's a valley where a lot of yellow animals live.

: Been there, done that, were mistakingly given a priceless holy artifact.

: And then, if you go to the northeast, there's a strange building we can't figure out. You should go if you feel like it!

: You don't gotta tell me twice! Let's follow that lead!



But first, we test out Rika's claw. I was trying to use Conduct Thunder (*wat and Tandle), but apparently it only works with an actual Tandle. That, or I just got unlucky fifteen times in a row.



Directly to the east lies our next destination.



: This location seems familiar.



: Hey, long time no see, jerkasses!



: What? You again? And you're not even a boss this time?

: Hey, shut up!



: Ow! Not fair!

: I got this one.



: Gyah! Ice lasers! What the hell?



: And stay down!



: for the Dezolisian climate.

: The monsters have been making a nest! And by monsters I mean Gy-Laguiah, who is the only monster in the building.

: As we suspected, this must be the cause of the abnormal weather.

: Yes, because the mysterious evil tower hidden behind an evil forest that only appeared around the same time that Dark Force did CLEARLY can't be involved!

: Let's investigate!

: It's no use! I've been telling you, the cause of the snow storm lies in Garuberk Tower!!

: Well, I mean, we're already here.

: Oh, fine. Nobody listen to the wise old priest!



So, Climatrol, PS4 Dezolis edition. Thankfully, there's only three or so floors, and they're very straightfoward. Hell, you could skip the first one by taking the elevator. But then we'd miss treasure.



Firstly, to the northeast!



Eh, that'll do.



: HEY. THEY ARE STEALING OUR LUNCH BOX.

: LET US GET THEM.

: BEEP.

: Oh, just put a sock in it already.



: ARGH.

With that Thunderclaw on, Rika is absolutely DESTROYING any robot she faces.







Yup, Raja has the highest level of Res now. Essentially it's a waste of TP since Gires heals for our current maximums anyway, but hell, he's got it now!



Now, straight north, and left at the fork as the right path is empty!



At the end, you'll find a new pulse weapon for Wren! Seems to deal 90+ damage to every enemy. Glorious.



Alright, time for floor 2.



As with most forks, head left and take the elevator.



Your reward? A new robo-hat! Hooray! It's "Compound headgear of ceramic and titan." So I guess there's no titanium after all.

Alright, that's enough of that. Back up, and keep going left.



All the way at the end is some cash, which I need after buying all that elemental stuff.



Now we can go back and go right to the other elevator instead.





And Chaz learns Rayblade along the way! Rayblade is yet another light-based attack, sharing the same element as the -tsu family, apparently.



Fantastically, the elevator brings us down next to another elevator that brings us back up about five feet away from the first one. What the fuck.



Seriously, look at this shit.



Oh, do turn right here.



You can never be too careful, after all.



Head north here and take the elevator; we're done up here.



Follow the line to the next elevator. There's nothing on this floor.



Except for these guys, I guess. Seems that ancient Palman IT nerds took themselves very seriously.



And they know Doubleslash too.

: Hey, don't steal my bit AND hit me with it!





Oh my, yes. Multi-target lightning spell. The only one in the game. And it absolutely destroys robots. Now, if only we had someone else that could use Wat spells we could use Conduct Thunder finally. But, no, of course we don't have anyone.



The final floor! Head south first.



There's this for Wren, and an empty box on the other side. Now go north! Do as I say!



I do not like the look of this. Maybe I'll just use one of those other computers instead.



Aw, dammit.

: Morons! This was just a trap! We knew you'd come to an area you knew nothing about that was out of the way of the main plot! Ha ha! You nincompoops! You ninnies! You doofuses!

: Well, there's no reason to be so mean about it.

: Hmmph. It seems like a waste to dirty our hands with stupid people like you, but...

: What do you mean, 'our hands?' There's only one of you.

: Being a vessel that takes orders, I'll just have to do it!

: Wait! You said orders? But we've beaten Zio...and Dark Force! Whose orders are you acting on?

: You defeated him? The great Dark Force? Ha, ha, ha, ha! Ridiculous! That's only happened, like, twice before! Sure, that's also how many times he's tried to attack, but...well, shut up! Shut up! Doo-doo heads!

BOSS FIGHT: D-ELM-LARS (Gamevee Viddler)



D-ELM-LARS. I'd say this is short for something, but given some names coming up in the future, it just seems that the creatures of Darkness have a really stupid language.

All the same, I'm calling this guy Dark Elemental Lars, for no reason. I bet he could drum, is all I'm saying.





He, um, doesn't last that long. Longer than the Chaos Sorceror, sure, but not by much. Check out the video to see Rayblade doing an astonishing 400 damage to him.



But man, his rewards suck.



: An optional dungeon with plot! This is too novel! It was talking like that creep Dark Force is still alive!

: Yeah...

: Chaz, there is nothing wrong with the climate control system.

: So, it really was a snare.

: See. Just like I said. We have to go to the Garuberk Tower!

: Okay, okay, fine! Will you shut up if we do?

: Of course not. How else would I brighten up everyone's day?

: Gr...


And, that brings us to the end of today's journey. So there's only one thing left to do...



: La dee dah, never paying inn fees again, la dee dee!



And, in case you're curious, here's our current levels. Look at Rika over there. Her exp curve is freaking awesome, I tell ya.




NEXT TIME ON PHANTASY STAR 4

Er...actually I forget! Probably weapons?