Part 4: PART FOUR: FLAELING AROUND AND AXING QUESTIONS

I once read a really bad fanfiction that tried to link Hahn to Baya Malay, but for some reason they gave him a different last name and some bizarre "Lassics' cursed armor" subplot.

Then there was something about the party moving the entirety of Motavia into Palma's orbit or something equally ridiculous by means of made up combination attacks.

Ugh. Moving on.





PART FOUR: FLAELING AROUND AND AXING QUESTIONS


We've Krupped ourselves out; now it's time to continue on our merry way.



Heading north leads us to this apparently open cavern.

However...



: No sweat. This should be a cinch! Everybody! Stand back!









: Wow!

: Shall we go?

: That art he just used. I've never seen it before?

(No, I don't know why he's asking if he's never seen something. But at least I'd never used Flaeli in battle before now, or else this would be a really silly conversation.)

: The technique's different too.

: Hee hee...I'm surprised you've never seen it before. This is what they call 'magic.'

: Magic!

: Magic?

: Yes, magic. Good god, you guys.

: Oh, and one last thing...is this your card?

: Oooooooooh!



Our party then automatically runs into this formation for some reason.

Now entering...



Another cave! Goody!

This one isn't so bad either, but it is kind of annoying since the branching paths now lead to different screens instead of dead ends, and that always bugs me while I'm exploring.



Of course, dedicating an entire screen to an Antidote is just vexing.



No, seriously, I don't like this place.







Stumbling forward brings us to yet another fork.



To the right is a paltry amount of meseta.



Mercifully, the left path brings us to the exit.



: Sweet, blessed sunlight!



And, tada! We're now stuck in a valley with no access to the outside world aside from a blocked, monster-filled tunnel. I hope these guys are self-sufficient or they'll be dead in a week.





I guess they're aware of their tourism plight?



: That darn Zio!

: I think you can get just a little more riled up about that, buddy.



: I know nothing about it! But...if you have questions, you should go to Grandfather Dorin!



Nothing important here, but holy crap isn't it adorable?



Either Chaz is trying to be funny, or the localization team was being lazy again.



: He's probably somewhere thinking about something right now.

: Woo, congratulations. Your husband is capable of thought patterns.



What's this? Rows of useless stall decorations? I thought so on my first playthrough, but...







It's actually kind of a shopping mall. Okay, so it's obvious, whatever. I'm used to seeing NPCs when I do my shopping.



Might as well kit ourselves out with Titanium. Like on the space shuttle!

Now where the hell is the weapon shop?



Nope.



Thus says the NPC on infinite loop.



Sweet, hop-scotching Santa Claus!



: Somehow, I feel more at peace.



: And now I'm nervous again. Don't hurt yourself with that thing, kid.



Not that there's anything resembling a workshop anywhere in this entire area.

Well, I've bought all I can. Let's go move the plot around a little.



: What the-? Hey!



Welcome to Grandfather Dorin's Tent of Knowledge!



Uh....



: My brother fought valiantly. He just wasn't a match for Zio. My Mom and Dad both died. My brother and I barely escaped with our lives...

Man, now I wanna give something a hug. At least the other guy's dialogue makes more sense. Sorta.



: What exactly do you want to ask?



: I see. It is referred to as a 'secret' and it really is a secret!

Annoyingly, you have to restart the conversation each time he answers a question. Sure, you can just skip to the plot one, but, that's not as fun.



: is blocked by a rock?

: ...not anymore...

: In preparation of a possible assault by Zio we've closed ourselves off.

: Whoopsie!



: and beautiful hunter Alys Brangwin, also known as the 'Eight Stroke Warrior?'

: ...he can see me, right? He can see me standing here talking to him.

: Now you're talking. Starting from the top, thirty-six, twenty...







: Wh...what are you doing! How dare you strike me without warning!



: You blabbing old fart! Do you tell every single fool who comes here my measurements!?



: Ah, Rune! It's you, Rune. Please help me!

: You don't change, do you, old man!



: The old man doesn't have any bad intentions.

: That's why I put up with it.

To reiterate, this is Alys 'putting up with it':



: Grandfather Dorin, I came to retrieve the item I entrusted in your care. Also, these people are looking for Alshline.

: Ah, if what you want it Alshline, feel free to take whatever you need.

: Ah...really?

: A NPC is just going to give us something?

: It's in the back of the basement warehouse out back. Go help yourselves.

: No dungeon, or mountain, or anything? Thank you! Alys, let's go!

: Again with you thinking you're in charge. Down boy!



: That place is unused right now. So it may be a teensy bit dangerous.

: Noooooo!

: Gryz! Will you guide these people?

: My pleasure. My name is Gryz. Nice to meet you.

: Well, I have some business with Grandfather Dorin here, so I'll say so long here!

: Noooooo! My easy survival button!

: Oh yeah, pip squeak...

: I've had enough of you!

: Don't get any silly thoughts, like taking on Zio, into that little head!



(The music goes silent at this point, since I guess telling someone not to go after the obvious badguy in this kind of game is a real shocker.)

: Guys...

: At this stage of the game, you're no match for him!

(He actually says this. I know it's a metaphor but it's also rather fourth-wall breaking of him.)

: Maybe our paths will cross again. Alys...

: Yeah.

: Take care.

: Me...taking on Zio?

: That IS pretty funny.

: Thanks Rune. Although...how the hell did Dorin get my details anyway?



: Woop woop woop!

: You son of a bitch!

We've lost our win button, but I suppose the new guy is okay.



Gryz is primarily a physical fighter. He likes to hit stuff really hard with axes, and thus his skills all reflect this. His Crash skill is an instant kill to one biological foe, but it's not too terribly reliable at the moment. And besides, most monsters fall in two hits at this point anyway.

We will have a use for it later, though.



He's also a man on a mission. That's adorable.



: This the place?

: Yup.



: Oh, there's a little trick to opening this door. Just hold here...like so...and then one, two, three, lift!



: There was a closed door there before, and now it is not closed! It is no longer obstructing our way downwards! Forward movement can be achieved!

: Great, let's go in.



: Why do I get a bad feeling about this place?


This dungeon is also kind of annoying. It's really straightfoward, but if you want to get anything out of it you gotta take the long way around.

For example, in this room, going straight leads to the next floor. However, to get the treasures...



...which aren't even worth it, you have to walk to the back of the first floor, and then backtrack all the way to the front again to hit up the other side or go back up the hallway to the next floor



Speaking of the other side, I really hate this place.



I'd make a Fester's Quest joke, but I don't know any and Gryz would rather cleave things in half. I'll let him have his way.



Floor two features a long hallway that wraps around four rooms and also leads straight to the next floor.



The way into the rooms is halfway around the map.



Meh.



: Blaaaaaaah!

: I can see forever!

I hate Abe Frogs. They're just weird, and they can poison you with their tongues.



Guh.



: Gyaaaagh!

The other two rooms are empty, of course.

Freaking warehouse crap.



Floor three is also straightforward. The stairs down are just offscreen to the right.

And of course they couldn't put the doors to the rooms on this floor near the stairs or anything. I mean, why would they?



: Yoink!



: ...

: ...

: ...

: ...yoink?

The other rooms are empty. Again.



Welcome to floor four!



Fucking warehouse!



Oh, well, never mind then.

It just dawned on me that I've got a wicked useful combo attack that I never bothered to set up.

If you can luck out and get Alys to cast Zan and Hahn to cast Wat right in a row, this happens:





Fairly pointless on one enemy, but it's a wide-target ice spell that's stronger than Wat. This is really, really nice to have on this planet.



Of course it's empty! Why wouldn't it be empty?!





: OK! Let's hurry and return to Zema and help those people out!

: Why do you keep thinking you can yell stuff like that?



: My own town was destroyed by Zio. I couldn't save my father or my mother! One way or another I need to get my revenge!

: Hey, Gryz! We're not necessarily making this journey for the purpose of defeating Zio.

: But didn't that tall guy who was with you say something like that?

: He said the OPPOSITE, but, yeah.

: Oh, that...he was just arbitrarily saying stuff.

: Either way, I can't stay in this town forever! I'm coming along even if you refuse to take me!

: Gryz!

: C'mon, Chaz, there's nothing wrong with that. Gryz could be quite a help and, after all, no one knows what's going to happen from here on out. Besides, he's actually useful on occasion. You could learn from him.

:

: Great. Once again...good to be working with you!

: Yeah, whatever. Let's get going!



Luckily, the dungeon does give you one of these if you don't come prepared.



Now to save myself some time.



Somehow we teleport engrishly.



And we're back again. What fun!

: Come ooooooon, we gotta save the professor!

: You try to take charge again and I'm feeding you to the sandworms.




NEXT TIME ON PHANTASY STAR 4:

Rematches! Science! And the best damn character in the game!










: But I was already in the party!

Shut up, you're only almost the best character in the game.