Part 53: Right From The Start

Update 54: Right From The Start

Sordward and Shieldbert - Pokémon Sword and Shield OST

… You must be completely mental if you think I’m playin’ along with this.

Oh, but why would you not?

Why, just consider all the –

You come into my girlfriend’s work, harass ‘er, threaten ‘er, insult my friends, and literally try to make me your king? You’ve done nothin’ but make me wanna hate you so far. Give me one reason I should listen to anythin’ you’re sayin’ before you manage to slam your door shut permanently.

…

… I have an idea, brother.

Do tell, brother.

Let us make a wager. Despite how we may appear, we are no mere dandies. For instance, we are skilled Pokémon Trainers in our own right, enough so that, why, I believe we may be able to stand up to Galar’s finest here.

I see what you mean, brother!

I thought you would, brother. How about this? Let us fight a bout with, say, the Champion and the semifinalist.

If we win, you must agree to at least hear us out in some detail.

If we lose, we shall depart posthaste. Is this acceptable to you?

Piers, honestly I’ve kind of wanted to punch them in the mouth since we walked in and this is the closest opportunity I’ll ever get. I say let us at them.

I’m basically always up for a fight .

No.



Sonia, you’re the injured party in all this. What do you want?

Kick their arses, you two.

You heard your queen. Kick their arses, you two.







Double battle time! Their Pokémon are a little bit more formidable than they were last time, though I’m pretty confident we can waste them just the same. Also, happy to see we can rely on Hop to throw out his Dubwool at the first opportunity. Unfortunately, most of their Pokémon are Steel-types, perfect for invalidating most of what it can do. Also unfortunate? This Golisopod. It nails Mr. Blobby with Sucker Punch before he can move, shaving off half his HP; Acrobatics does roughly the same right back to it, but it auto-switches out for a Bisharp, a Pokémon well suited to dealing with both of us.



And then Hop proves me wrong. As Mr. Blobby vanishes using Phantom Force, the Dubwool breaks out Double Kick, which nearly kills the Bisharp in one hit; after their Pokémon waste their moves trying to target Mr. Blobby, currently off the field and waiting to smack the Bronzong, Dubwool finishes the job and claims the fight’s first kill.



Unfortunately, their Doublade takes it out in one hit, followed by Mr. Blobby himself. I’m done screwing around; that Doublade is pretty terrifying and I have no intention of letting it run wild. Fortunately, it’s weak to Fire.





That Falinks nails Bonham with a super-effective Megahorn, dropping his HP by more than half before the Golisopod finishes the job. In previous fights, Hop’s never lost more than one Pokémon. Bruce Zen Headbutts the Falinks unconscious, and we come to their last pair of Pokémon:



This is Klinklang using Protect to deflect a Pyro Ball, by the way, but that only buys it one turn before another Pyro Ball takes it down. Hop’s Corviknight finishes the job with a Brave Bird, and we have victory.





… That was a stinging defeat, brother.

Indeed, brother. But let us look on the bright side!

A capital idea, brother! Why, it is always wise to know your –



Those men are dangerous! Be careful!



Have you gathered the Wishing Stars?

Elizabeth: Yes, thanks to Masters Sordward and Shielbert buying me so much time.

She gives them the Wishing Stars.

Oh dear... It would seem we’ve been completely had.





Keep this in mind, Piers! It is unwise to deny us what we want – we will find a way to get it anyway!

And with that, farewell!

Stop! Why?!

Elizabeth: Professor Sonia...I’m sorry.





…



_{Back in university, she never drank much. Said she didn’t like the feeling. But whenever we got pissed, she’d always volunteer to drive us back. No matter how wild things got, she always made sure everybody got home safe…}





Sorry, luv. I figured anything I said would just make you feel worse than ya should…







But I think you’re forgetting something

Oh bollocks, you’re right! Something popped up on our equipment the moment you stepped out the door!



Everywhere except Spikemuth?

Right.

Then we have our marching orders.



I need to stick around and watch the graphs, see if anything changes.

Of course. We can handle this, right?

Righto.



Keep us posted, though.

Of course. Now get a move on!

…

Our visit to Stow-on-Side goes a little differently from the previous couple gyms…



… Plus, this time, there’s a bunch of Dynamaxed Pokémon running around and we have to fight this one on our own. Aside from that…







Fourth verse, same as the second and third. But the fifth verse?



Stop trying to sound Galarian, you Unovan twat.

Good to see you too, asshole.



Bede's Theme - Pokémon Sword and Shield OST



First of all, you’re a bit late to be of any use, and second, I didn’t need any help. God knows, I’ve had enough people making me do what they want. I decide what I do now. And, I think what I should do now is have a battle with you, Gloria!

… Mate, this is SO not the time or the place.



Bede has already quieted three Dynamax Pokémon. He’s given you the luxury of some extra time. Go ahead, do indulge him.



You know what? Fuck it, let’s go .



[EXTENDED] Bopping to Bede's theme | Pokemon Sword and Shield Animation (RECOMMENDED VIEWING!)









Well, that’s not a promising start to the fight. While Mawile’s Fairy typing theoretically makes it vulnerable to Poison, it’s also Steel, which is entirely immune to it. I forgot about that. Fortunately…



… Dragons can breathe fire. The Mawile’s Iron Head barely hurt it. Baklava versus Gardevoir next. Unfortunately for it, it just didn’t have a good counter to Baklava (though it did nearly knocked him out a Future Sight after it went down).



A hot air balloon and a unicorn stare each other down. It does some serious damage him with multiple Psycho Cuts, but repeated Phantom Forces just prove more than it could take. Down it goes.







The final showdown. I open by smacking Morgan here with a super-effective Poison attack, and it responds by…



… Using a move that raises its Special stats. She goes down the next turn. That’s it. He doesn’t even have more than four Pokémon. As far as I can tell, there weren’t any gimmicks in his team that I missed, that’s all she wrote. For shame, Bede. For shame. I wish there was more I could show off, but .

I’m sure someone will let me know what I missed.



But I’ll keep getting stronger. I’ll reach the pinnacle of what Fairy types can do. Now then, as the Gym Leader, I will do my duty and clean the stadium.

<sub>Nice speech, Bede. Needs some more grandstanding, though. And you definitely shouldn’t end it with cleaning up, it’s undignified.

Shut it, Opal.</sub>

Wait! Piers, Hop, can I ask you to go ahead for a bit? I’ll catch up in a mo’.



We’ll scout out ahead. But if you don’t catch up, we will take all the credit!

You’ll try! You too, Opal.

And why should I do that?

I wish to speak with the Leader of the Fairy Gym. Are you going to undermine his authority?

Well said, young lady!

You have, like, an office or something?

…

Okay, what’s so important you need to drag me away from –

You have the lowest expectations of me out of anybody I know. I need to vent.

… This must be serious.



All right. Shoot.

Being Champion is making school miserable.

If you called me all the way over for THIS…

No, you don’t understand. It’s gotten so bad I’m considering actually resigning as Champion.

Wait, hold up. You – you do realize I’d gut you like a fish if you just gave in like that, right?

I know! That’s how bad it’s gotten… I don’t socialize much, you know? Just by nature. And I guess I thought being Champion would just mean I had to fight matches and show for events sometimes? Look, I’ve wanted to be Champion ever since I saw Leon win on the telly and decided that Pokémon were the best thing ever.

THAT’S why you –

But I was bloody well wrong, because nobody in the entirety of the University of Motostoke will leave their Champion alone for five fucking minutes. I don’t have friends there, you understand? I’ve had too many people turn out to be after fame or money or advice who wouldn’t leave me alone that I don’t trust anybody anymore. Even half the professors seem in on it and the rest stand by and watch, the wankers. And that’s when all the other little gobshites aren’t accusing me of cheating or informing me they don’t follow Championships like it makes them better than me!

Are you sure that –

And the administration! Arselickers give me anything I want but space. No WONDER people think I’m cheating when they hand me every fucking thing they can think of even if I don’t want it. And they badger me until I show up at their stupid little events and fundraisers and shite and make me socialize with their arsehole friends!

I –

Yeah, yeah, I know it could be worse. I know that! And I sleep 10 hours a day because it’s the only way I can get away from this shite for a split second and always wake up knackered anyway. I hate being the most important person on campus so, so fucking much…

So, if you hate being the most important person at your college, is there college you can transfer to where you’re NOT the most important person there?

And where would that be? This is fucking Galar, where would the Champion NOT be the most important Trainer… In the city…



… That’s brilliant. That’s brilliant! You’re a genius! I can’t believe I didn’t think of that, thank you, Bede! Thank you so much!

You’re welcome?

That was exactly what I needed to hear. I can’t thank you enough. I knew I could count on you to “keep it real”.



But seriously, never say that again.

…

Two more Gyms now. Since this whole exercise is a thinly-veiled excuse to revisit all the Gyms like in the main story, let’s skip Hammerlocke and head straight to Circhester.







()



Sixth verse, same as the second, third, and fourth.