Part 17: Calvin's Bicycle.

Well, the Power Plant issue is resolved, so now what's there for Terry to do but wander?



Right nearby, R Tunnel beckons, so might as well head through there. It's pitch black, so Terry needs to teach a Secre slave Clamp. A nearby Corn was procured (and in honor of old jokes was named "Party"), although it couldn't learn Clamp so that was kind of a wash.



Instead, XChkn is brought out from the computer to be taught Clamp. In the process of doing so, I noticed that it had the move "Sin". Apparently, pressing your teeth against somebody is a crime on the biblical level.



You know, this is as good a time as any to talk about it, so I might as well. Notice how all the wild Elfs are extremely low level, while the coaches have Elfs that are around 30 levels higher than the wild ones. This results in a complete lack of places to do any decent grinding, which is kind of a problem for an RPG.



While progressing through R Tunnel, Terry goes through his bag of Skil and Secre machines. Ban was funny enough to post on its own, even though the description isn't too bad.



However, this one apparently teaches Elfs to infuriate their enemies by streaking. And yes, scrolling through the list causes that glitch, lord knows why.



There's really nothing too notable about the cave, because it's a cave in this series. Okay, seriously, breaking the "ha ha let's use all the terms from this translation seriously and act like it's normal" routine for a bit, I have to ask something. What is Game Freak's fascination with caves? There's around 6 per region. It's like whenever they had a hole to fill during map design they just went "Welp, let's put a cave in here! Be sure to fill it with Geodudes and Zubats, everyone loves those!"




We now return you to your regularly scheduled insanity.



Welcome to Sin City.




So this place is either Shi'en, Sn, Xiwan, or Xiuan City. It's also a very nice purple color, as this sign points out for some reason.



The old mass graveyard tower that used to be here has been replaced with a radio broadcasting tower. A brilliant decision if I've ever seen one.



Just inside, the owner of the tower thanks Terry for restoring power so they can broadcast. Without electricity, the whole tower just sort of phases out of reality.



The ????Y (-7 is an important item that allows Terry to access the radio broadcasts from his ElfGear.



The owner proceeds to advocate running down pedestrians while driving.



Just south of the tower is a small building where people go to mourn dead Elfs.



Terry's mother is retarded, show some empathy!



A senile old woman mistakes Terry as her grandson.



Well, odds are pretty good that Porno might be in there, so let's avoid such a place.



Heading left of the City With Many Names, Terry encounters a nerd who won't shut up about a Linearity System.

: You see, JRPGs are usually games with very little room for decision making or influencing the story. They're more like interactive stories!



Terry decides to book it when the dork starts rambling about fundamental forces. I've made enough X-Men Arcade jokes to last the thread.



Continuing to the left past scenic Whatever They Garbled Saffron City Into, Terry enters Yc city. I like this place a lot from an LP standpoint, because it's a fountain of mistranslated hilarity.



First off, let's slip around to the back entrance of this building here.



A man inside offers to tell Terry a scary story. I knew right away that this was going to be comedy gold.



: So, a kid bought a new bicycle.



: He was very happy about his new bike, and started to ride it around everywhere.



: And so he was sent to hell. THE END!



Terry's reward for surviving such a bone-chilling tale is the...uh. Dictionary time.


Actually, Imprecatory is kind of a cool name for that move.



Entering that same building from the front, Terry meets this crew of miscreants.



So, one is a hair stylist, one is a robot...




One is an artist, and one isn't a bear. Well, that explains a lot.



On the roof is this NPC, who makes a rather odd claim and nothing else.



Elsewhere in town, an old man professes his enjoyment of the Worms franchise.




Anyone familiar with Terry knows that the munchies are inevitable with him, so let's check out this eatery.



First order of business is garbage can looting.



The people already attending the eatery are pretty weird. Being a fan of shounen anime, this guy shouts out his actions all the time, like some sort of Tourette's condition.



"Waiter, my soup doesn't taste like mice!"



Yet another Yell-Out-What-I'm-Doing Tourette's guy.



Lastly, there's also a gymnasium. Might as well get around to that.



Given that they're all Grass type Elfs, Torgo slaughters the entire place mercilessly. Or rather, would if I didn't have the autokill cheat on. One Elf defies Torgo anyway with its very name.



The local curator is a math nerd, who'd have guessed?



Terry and Team Jihad win as usual.