Part 10: Episode Five: Sonny Bonds... AFTER HOURS!

So what do you think Dooley wants?

Who knows? Doesn't take much to make him blow a gasket sometimes.



I'm surprised you even know that, Sonny.

Look, just because I like to go by the book doesn't mean I'm a robot. We all mess up sometimes.



Well, time to face the music for whatever it was.

At least the shift's almost over. I'm going to just leave the PR-24 in the car here for the next guy.



Knock yourself out.

Yeah, get on with it.

It's funny, see.

Uh-huh.

Because it's a nightstick and you hit people on the head with them. Possibly knocking them out.

Yeah, I think we're done here.



Why don't we explore all these rooms over here?

Well, first, these aren't my department, and second, how long do you think Dooley will wait for us?

He'll probably just hang around as long as we need.

Exactly how sure are you?

Pretty sure, but I'll humor you.



What's with the crowd?

Wow, he's got everyone back here. We must have all screwed up. Unless it's... uh-oh.

What?



If that 'Gremlin' keeps messing with me I'm going to notify Internal Affairs to start an investigation!

Oh, lord.

Gremlin?

When I find out who the little weasel is, you'd better believe that he or she will be walking a footbeat from the river all the way to Joe's Junkyard!

What's this gremlin thing?

Ssshh. I'll explain later. Sir, what has the Gremlin done this time?

Take a look in my office, Sonny. Maybe you can shed some light as to how that creature made his way to the top of my desk!



Creature? Oh, I like the sound of this.

That makes one of us.



...

It's a chicken, I tells ya! A giant chicken!




HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Something funny, Bonds?

It wasn't me, sir. I don't know what sort of degenerate would laugh at a thing like this, sir.

Hey!



If you'll excuse me, sir, I'm off shift now.

Get out of my sight, Bonds.



Oh my God, that made my day.

What, you aren't going to go help him clean that up?

Nah, I don't want to do that. Who'd dirty their clean uniform by picking up a chicken that just relieved herself all over Sgt. Dooley's desk?

Fair enough.

Hey, Sonny! Dooley says he's gonna start a big Internal Affairs investigation just because some fool put a stinkin', smelly bird on his desk.

I wouldn't worry about it. He'll calm down in a little while. He doesn't want IA laughing at him like everyone else is.

You're off duty, aren't you? Some of us are going by the Blue Room to throw Jack a little surprise party. After you change clothes, why don't you stop by?

Sure, I'll come on by there later.



Goodbye, radio!

It. Is not. A radio.

Oh. Right.



So, who's Jack, anyway?

Good guy. Been on the force with him for ages. We've backed each other up a hundred times.

Oh, remember to check your mail before you clock out.



Good idea. Well, I guess there's a first time for everything.

Ha-ha, Sonny, laugh it up.



Truer words were never spoken.

Looks like Jack's is full of birthday cards.

Think he'd still shoot us for poking around his pigeonhole on his birthday?

That's not a chance I want to take.



So what does your exciting night life consist of? Going to go home and read old arrest reports?

You'd be surprised.

I'll be surprised if I can stay awake for ten minutes.



His skin color... and he's lazy... I'm... not even going to touch this one.

Yeah, it's probably best to just pretend this guy doesn't exist.

That's pretty rude. At least say hi.

Fine. Hey, RJ.

Hey, Sonny! You sure missed a good one while you was off duty. Someone filled a pair of pantyhose full of cotton balls and crammed 'em into Sgt. Dooley's pigeonhole.

See, that wasn't so bad.

How are...

Woooo wheeee! Lookee whats we gots here!

Okay, not so great now.

Um, RJ, how are you doing?

Hey, Brother! You can see I'm still sloppin', moppin', and hoppin' on clothes. I'm gettin sick of this job and I'll bet it shows!

Um...



So, your locker!

Yes, my locker! I'm going to put all my things in here for tomorrow and get changed.



So you're going to take a shower now.

Hey, you're learning. I could get away with skipping this, but that's gross.



I'm just going to wait over here for a minute if you don't mind.

I'd kind of prefer that.







Much better.



This should be fine for Jack's party. Saves me a trip home.



Let's go.

White pants, Sonny? Really? I know it's the 80's, but...

So now you provide fashion advice too?

You clearly need the help. Speaking of needing help, that guy is STILL in the can. Is he okay?



Guess that depends on your definition of "okay".



At least he doesn't have any simple insights into the nature of life that will impress us with his homespun wisdom.

Um...

Oh, hell, get us out of here.



Before we head to Jack's, I want to look something up real quick.

You got an Encyclopedia in there?

Sort of.



Oh my God.



OH MY GOD.

What?

Nothing, just having a flashback. Or maybe some PTSD. Don't worry about it. What are you going to look up?

Just something I've been thinking about.


How did you remember that?

I took notes, remember?

What does it mean?

I'm not sure yet. But we don't see a lot of auto theft around here. It bothers me. Anyway, let's get to that party.



Alright, now we're talking.



Wait a second. WAIT A SECOND. THIS is your car?

Well...



You have a Corvette. And you use it to drive around LYTTON?

Hey, look, I left my wallet on the seat.



Yeah, that's what happens when you own a car you can't afford, Sonny.

And now you're a financial planner, too. I've been shot at before. You ever been shot at?

Not that I recall.

Let me have my one little indulgence.



So let's get to that party. And you can tell me about the Gremlin along the way.

It's pretty much what you'd guess. Someone who takes every opportunity to play pranks on Dooley. Nobody knows who it is.



Oh, great. Now your car doesn't even have that bar on it to help me figure out which one it is. So why does Dooley think it might be you, of all people?

How many times do you think Dooley got in the paper for his devotion to duty?



Ah, I getcha.

Anyway, I'm pretty sure he really thinks it's Steve.



Is it Steve?

I don't know. He's not usually that good at keeping things quiet, though.



Here we are!

That's pretty close to the station.

It's a cop bar. What do you expect?



Wow, that's... classy.

This is where we go to drink. It isn't the Delphoria, but it does the job.



The name is a subtle touch, too. And you're wearing a blue shirt even when you're not in uniform, Sonny.

I like blue. No need to make an issue of it.




Is that a jukebox? I haven't see one of those in years.

Well, let's give it a try.



By the Bullshitters? From their latest album, "Straight Outta Faketon".

Oh, you've heard of them? They're signed with Ludicrousname Records.



Hey, Jack, what's happening?



Sorry to hear that, man. What's up?

Oh, Sonny! I just discovered my daughter is doing drugs! It's really screwed me up!

Shit, Jack. Do you know where she's getting them?

I know she's getting 'em at school, but I just can't finger the punk who's supplying!

Jack, have you talked to her about it? What about your wife?

My life is going to crap. I can't talk to my daughter, she won't listen to me any more! My drinking has my marriage on the rocks, my wife's ready to leave me! Everything's a mess!

Oh, Christ, Jack. Look, you need to talk to somebody. There are some counseling services available to us... you got the same pamphlets I did. Don't sit on it. And if there's anything I...



...hey, Keith. How's it goin'?



Good, Sonny. Heeey, birthday boy!



Oh, my God.



This is the most awkward birthday song ever.

(Shut it.)



You didn't. Jesus, do something.

(Too late now. Maybe it'll distract him.)



She really calls herself Hoochy Coochy? It's on the business cards and everything?

(Just shut up for a few minutes.)








Yeah, I'm sure this is helping.




Is he putting on a brave front or is he drunk?

(I think it's both. Hell, what else can go wrong?)



You had to ask.

Dammit! Bye, guys!



Why didn't you remind me?

You made that deal before I got here, man. This is the first I've heard of it.



It's not so bad. The station isn't far from here and if I'm two minutes late to briefing, Dooley will have something to yell about, which will make him happy.



I'm more worried about Jack. And his daughter.

Yeah, I don't blame you.



I can't believe we've got people selling that shit to kids in our schools. Here, in Lytton. Those animals make me sick.

Well, I see what you're saying, but... you know, they wouldn't be selling it if there weren't a market.



Excuse me?

Nobody forced drugs into that kid. She's an idiot taking on responsibility she isn't old enough for, but there's an element of personal choice here that-

We are not having this conversation about my friend's kid. Topic over. Now.



...

...



Do you have some kind of compulsion to piss me off when we're in the car or something?

Kinda.


Next time on Police Quest: Rhythm of the Night!

We're still in the car.

I know.