Part 15: Clean Your Plate
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Previously, on Policenauts:
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One thing that's nice is that for all the different acts, the Summary Screens have their own little graphics for each. They're easy to miss playing the game, so we're featuring them here.
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so noise or vibrations ain't that big a deal.
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So yeah, building inside a spinning cylinder in fucking space really drives down real estate prices. Ed doesn't have a garden, but he's got two stories, which is nice. Also 5 years left on his mortgage, which isn't bad at all.
Go Inside
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Meet Anna Brown. Next to Lorraine, she's my least favorite character, from a tech standpoint. I want you to imagine you're working on ROMhacking Policenauts, wearing headphones connected your laptop in public. Your goon programmer pal Scarboy has got the subtitles in English, you enter Ed's house for the very first time and you hear the voice actress, and it sounds like:
"Airi papa, nani? EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!"
I had to throw off the headphones, and it was so loud everyone around me looked over. See, there's four major components to the ROMhack: The SZ script files, the full motion videos (MOV), the graphics (LZO), and the VOX.
The VOX is basically like a giant subtitled sound file. All voice acted scenes (that weren't the full-motion video ones) like this one play audio and display subtitles from the VOX. Scarboy managed a prototype VOX text extractor and re-inserter in one day... Well, okay, it didn't work right away so it really took a bit longer.
Scarboy was in luck though - the VOX had so much extra space, all of Marc's English fit... with one exception. This conversation with Anna Brown goes over on Disc 1. (There's one more on 2.) Well, no problem, Scarboy thought. He'd found the text pointers in the VOX file, so he could shift some stuff around. No biggie.
Except he didn't find the text pointers - he's just shuffled things around and screwed it up such that the game tried to play regular data as audio data... which emulators render as a FUCKING PIERCING SHRIEK. It sounded like playing a CD-ROM in an audio CD player. So basically, fucking up the VOX had a pretty big penalty. So much so that when we experiemented with it, I'd put headphones in and not wear them. I still wince when I think back on that.
A couple months later we figured out the problem, and it was kinda big. The VOX file text pointers weren't in the VOX file at all - they were actually all spread out through the 30 or so SZ script files! So that sucked - for this one conversation in the middle of a 200 MB file, we'd have to change all the text pointers throughout all the files because the bigger conversation would shift everything down in the VOX file, and we'd also have to change like half the SZ files because the VOX pointers were hidden away in them!!!
...
Except I had the bright/lazy idea to say, "You know, fuck it. It's one conversation. Why don't we just copy it to the end of the file? Then we can make it as big as we want and who cares? Nothing will shift down, since it's already at the end."
Scarboy agreed and we ended up only changing the text pointers for this one file to point to our longer copied version at the end. This wasn't the end of Anna's problems for us - me, particularly - as you'll read about later.
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Wow. Congratulations Jonathan, you are now officially a scumbag.
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As the telop says, meet Marc Brown. Marc has a psychological issue we'll learn about in a minute. He doesn't actually speak, he just makes little "Mm." kinda sounds. I'm saying this was probably a slam dunk role for Junko Hagimori.
"Wait, slowbeef. Marc can be spelled like 'Marc' or 'Mark' and your translator's name is Marc. That like a cute thing he did?"
Actually, Policenauts does spell out "Marc" a couple times, and it's officially with the C. ...However, one of the anime cutscenes later on, the ones done by AIC? One of them gets it wrong and spells it Mark. Laidlaw did ask me to try and fix, but again, it would've required cracking the codec and a frame-by-frame edit.
Anyway, Marc (Brown) does a little sound and hides behind Anna.
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Dude, for fuck's sake, it's your best friend's daughter! Give it a damn rest.
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I'll say. We managed to put you and possibly your children in danger by mouthing off to a big CEO who has various mobs over for a damn party. Hey, let's make this more awkward!
Look; Ed's Face
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Ask About; Anna
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...Sure she did, Ed. Sure.
Ask About; Marc
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Look; Bag
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Ed remarks that he got it for Anna's birthday, and Jonathan mentions that Lorraine had one. At least Hojo took care of her.
Look; Picture on Wall
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Ha, what? World's Most Terrible Drawing Contest? Well, Marc's a bit of a plagirist - this is actually a tracing of a Dominic Deegan. Yeah, I don't reach very far for my jokes.
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Absolutely. Oh, you said "Home," not "shit?"
Look; Poster on Wall
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Ask About; What the fuck Ed was thinking putting that picture of his daughter on the wall
One bit of flavor text I like if you look at the poster a few times:
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Look; Photo of Catherine
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Look; Photo of Jonathan/Ed
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Ask About; Marc's Background
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Ask About; The Incident
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"Oh come on. It wasn't enough to steal from Lethal Weapon, Kojima had pull in a bit of Die Hard, too?"
Carl Winslow, no less! Actually, it's an interesting way of writing around the fact that Policenauts is one-player, and during the shooting scenes, Ed will not help Jonathan. Rather than program some AI or make the game an awkward two-player affair, Kojima watches Die Hard one day, snaps his fingers, and says 'Bingo!'
Also, adoption in the future is fucked up. "Oh, so you killed his biological father in front of him? Well, I'm sure the child now realizes you're obviously the superior father. That's really the best way to teach them. Also make sure he always wears the same clothes from that day. Always."
Ask About; Marc's illness
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Ask About; Catherine
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Ask About; Catherine's Death
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Ask About; Catherine's Illness
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Well, now that this is the most depressing conversation imaginable...
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Go to dining room
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We'll be doing this, but there's a short cutscene to be had later in the game if you drink the milk on the table over and over again.
Also, yeah, Jonathan keeps the cigarette in his mouth while he eats. I smoked for nearly a decade and I have no freakin' idea how he manages that.
Talk; Marc
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Ed got his father of the year award at the same contest that gave Marc a sympathy prize for that hamster moon garbage.
There's a lot of crap on the table, like soybean and seaweed stew in front of Marc, unohana (also called okara) - that white stuff near Ed, vegetables from Beyond's agricultural ring in the center of the table, tempura, and soy milk in a big rectangular pitcher in the center. Oops, I'm sorry this is a Kojima game, so that is not just milk.
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Alright, well, let's dig in!
Eat; Unohana
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Eat; Tempura
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Jonathan is not enjoying himself, so let's try the milk. How bad could milk be?
Drink; Milk
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Drink; Milk (again)
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Drink; Milk (3rd)
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So yeah. Anna's cooking sucks. Actually to be fair to her, it's a common theme in the game; space food tastes awful. I think (honestly) Kojima's trying to convey that there is something really, fundamentally unnatural about living in space.
Ask (Ed) About; His Family
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Ask (Ed) About; His Family (again)
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Ask (Anna) About; Her
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Sorry I asked. Anyway, we can eat more, ask Ed about the investigation (he thinks something's fishy at Tokugawa Pharmaceuticals) and then...
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