Part 4: Whip it good!

4. Whip it good!

So here's a workable format. I've decided to entertain all your requests, no matter how detrimental (to my schemes, not Liz) they may be, and still try to work Liz towards bloodthirsty warrior and/or sorceress. Otherwise you'll probably never see even half the jobs and classes available here and what they do. I've gone and put Kitfox's Restaurant work request in this update, and as usual, she sucks badly at it.

---

I cant wait! I'm going to cook up the best thing you've ever tasted Papa!
That's nice. Unfortunately that makes you a big fat liar.
What! Why?!
Because I've already entered you into the combat tournament.
I hate you Daddy.




This contest is held tournament-style. Your opponents have already been selected by random drawing. Check the bulletin board at the coliseum's main entrance. I wish you all good luck.


Oh no... Please tell me you had nothing to do with this!
I've got no idea what you're talking about. What's wrong with Lizzie's opponent?
Aside from the fact that Lizzie herself is only 10 and you've entered her into a Combat tournament? Take a look in the arena.


CRAPPING CRAP ON A STICK!
Yeah.
Miss, miss! I think you forgot to finish dressing today!


I cant watch this!
I cant stop watching this!


Why's everyone cheering? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!
MORE! GIVE IT TO HER!


With that Lizzie's out of the tournament and into therapy. The contest continues without her...

---

Ladies and gentlemen! This year we had one magnificent bout after another.
You sick fuck.
We will now have the award ceremony. May I present His Majesty, the King!

You didn't win any rounds, but it's nothing to worry about. Girls are cuter if they're not incredibly tough.
.....
I feel so unclean.

---

November rolls around, and Liz goes off to work at the restaurant.


You got it boss!


Oops.
Why you...! Idiot! Pay more attention! I'm not paying you a thing!


All Liz has to show for her trouble is a slight gain in cooking skill. Unfortunately, learning that has pushed some combat training out of her brain.

Next she's off to the inn.

Yes, sir!


Liz is a scubbing machine, but more combat skills fall out of her skull.
Hah! You're fantastic! As your reward, here's 108g - 9 days' pay with a 50% bonus!
Awesome!


Liz spends the remainder of the month rolling 6-year olds for pocket money in town.

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December.
No time for jolly fatmen, let's continue turning Liz into destruction incarnate.




We'll make a warrior of you yet!
But I just wanna play with my dolly!


My style of teaching is a little rough, but it's good experience and you'll find it quite useful.




Yes... YEEEEES! Feel your power growing!
Papa, I cant even feel my hands...
Oh quit your whining. It could be worse.
H-how could it be worse?
At least you dont have a father that wouldn't dump you in a monster infested forest. Up for a picnic?
A-alright. *snif*


I dont know... this doesnt look so safe...


Oh no! Oh no! What should I do?!
Calm down and remember your teachings, then call on your inner strength to guide you through!


I really didnt expect that bullshit to work.


Wow... paging Dr. Freud.


This must be the famous ancient tree of the elves.


...and this must be the famous ancient loot of the elves.


Run away! Run away!
AAAAAAA!

---

Great. Now we're REALLY lost.
We can always ask this lady for directions.

That's no lady!


Aiieee!
Run away!


Okay, I really did not expect to see that.


I can see the loot!
Through this mountain range?
It's called the power of greed, dear.


Why are we hiding from the man dressed as a kitty-girl, daddy?
I'll explain when you're older. For now, shut up sweetie.


Deep pit? Where?


*glub glub*

Okay... playing in quicksand = secret hideout entry. Got it!


Ew! Ancient loot and ancient milk!
I cant help but think... if you needed a quick way to lose weight...
You wouldnt!
He couldn't!
He shouldn't?
I would.
Let... let's keep going daddy.


I chased off that last one! I can do this one!


That's it sweetie, never stop believing, no matter how deluded you are.


M-my spine...


WeeeOOOOweeeeOOOweeeeOOOO

---

It's January and Lizzie's finally starting to come out of her room again. So we nab her and sign her up for more training and adventure!




Hiii-ya! *kr-ACK*
Ouch, sounds like tibia going this time. Are you sure you're getting enough milk?
P-Papa...

It'll heal up soon enough. Why dont you go play in the desert for a bit?


...


...


...


Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Even I didnt see this one coming.


Sweet fuck yes!

But as Lizzie approaches the entrance to the ruins, a dragon blocks her path.

Brilliant deductive skills there, sweetie.
Girl! This is the entrance to the Dragon Ruins. It's no place for humans and their like.
Dragon Ruins?
These ruins have been my family's home since ancient times. Filthy humans coming in here mess the place up.
W-what are you saying?!
Still, if you really want to get in, I'll let you pass if you pay a 200G toll.
So, for all your pride, this is actually just about money.
Say what you like. Dragons begin building their fortune when they're young, so they can be happy in their old age.
Is that so? Well... here is your 200g.
Let's see.... it's all here. You may pass.


Dumbass.


Really, Liz? A dragon in the Dragon Ruins? I am shocked.

Just as Lizzie readies herself for battle (AHAHAHAHAHA), the old dragon calls out to her in a soft voice.

Human girl... Do not be afraid. I am old, I've retired from the world. I dont have the energy to fight.
Really?
Yes. Unlike humans, dragons do not lie.
That sounds pretty dumb, and you're rude, but okay, I'll believe you.
Ho ho ho... what a nice child. But this is no place for children. It is dangerous. Go home.


A dragon! A dragon! Run!
Oh really? A dragon? In the Dragon ruLOOK OUT GIANT BIRD!
WhatWhereGaaaaakkth--*

...


WeeeOOOOweeeeOOOweeeeOOOO

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Well at least I'm in one piece, and that's what's important. Let's hit town and do some shopping!


We're here to pawn off some off milk and a broken tooth.


Am I finally getting some armor of my own?


Well if it'll help you live long enough to get more loot, I suppose. Meet you back at the house.

---


Lizzie arrives at the palace to bug people some more, and finds a new face!


What? Uh, that is... Oh, I know, I patrol. I look out for anyone suspicious.
Oh, that must be difficult.
N-No, not really. It's no big deal.
You shouldn't talk about your job like that. It's important in any job to give it your all.
...You're right. It's absolutely as you say.
I'm sorry. I'm being rude. I was only repeating what my father always tells me.
You have a good father.
Ahahahahahahaaa!
Daddy!
Whoa!


I had fun today.
I had fun, too. But I have to go home now.
Lizzie, I'm only in the castle in January. The next time I can see you is a year from now. Will you promise to come visit me?
Yes I promise. I'll see you next year. Bye!
Way to go with the prince you little tart! Daddy's proud of you!
what prince?


And how did you get in my house?
I am Valkria, who watches over battle.
I thought you'd be fatter...
What? Anyway, Lizzie, you have been enthusiastic and devoted in your study of the ways of war, and have shown much improvement.
_{I didnt want to.}
Shut up honey. Please continue.
I am the guardian of all true warriors. I have come to praise your training and to give you a reward.

A blinding light fills the room. When we come to our senses, Valkria has disappeared.

My body seems lighter somehow...

Lizzie is less abysmal at combat!

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You know the drill. Pick out stuff to do, classes to attend, or places to go! And Lizzie's birthday is coming up in April. Will Gendo get her a present that wont leave lasting physical and mental scars? Who knows!