Part 28: Session 19.5: The Immense Plot Dump

Session 19.5: The Immense Plot Dump

Today, we have ourselves a very cinematic-heavy update. Eight, in fact, and only half of those are combats.



Entering the side room, you discover that it is, in fact, a guard room! Fancy that, the room by the front gate is full of guards.

Let’s get crackin’.


Nothing particularly exciting to add here, except that Kara ran completely out of arrows.

There, William, you see? Now you’re slightly more important than Paul’s character.
Hey!


Speaking of important…damn, couldn’t raise my Transformations. At least the Domination spells are coming along well.
Wait, vVhorpax has more experience than Kara? I thought he fell behind after he died.

He did, but then you fell behind because your character didn’t get any experience from the top three floors of the wizard’s tower.

But I…that…balls!


This room features the exact same combat as the last one. It is, after all, the one on the other side of the main hallway, so if you want to see it, just go up and hit play again. Also, I learned that, in spite of being listed as a Polearm, the spear has to be thrown. And it doesn’t stack like arrows. Balls.

So what’s the winch do?

Well, this is just a guess here, but I’d have to wager it opens the giant portcullis not twenty feet away.

Can I give it a good twist?

You realize that every guard in the entire castle, including the ones asleep, would likely hear you and come running to the front gate?

You’re no fun.


We seem to be jumping people a lot in here.
It’s a good way to keep safe.
Plus we’re wanted for murder anyway.
And it’s tons of fun!


Let’s grab some.
Now hold on, remember that this is a setting with angry, smite-happy gods. And we do already have plenty of money.
Come on, though, that’s like 50 gold pieces!
I know. Let’s just take 50 silvers, just to be on the safe side.



…Not that I’d have to ask, apparently.

Especially since the healer likely has stuff worth keeping. What does he have in his cabinet?



Healing potions, strong healing potions, loneberry, whirlweed, and a very special recipe. Well, I’ll just let you read it.

Miracle cure? Oh, we are in business now.



Good roll, Paul. You notice a group of small holes across from the door. You can see the glint of metal down the holes.

I’m getting flashbacks to the dwarf fortress. Let’s try and plug ‘em up.
Sure, but with what?
With…this!


I have no goddamn clue. You hit “yes” in the dialogue screen and suddenly the holes are covered in Technicolor goo.

That was awesome, dude. I can’t believe you convinced Bob to go with that.
It’s why I always keep some around.


Opening the door to this room requires the usual lock picking check, but forgetting to plug the holes has bolts fire rather predictably into your back when you open it.

So who would be so special as to get a red desk?

Well, from where you’re standing, all you see is that the desk is full of papers, ink, blotters, etc. Did you want to examine it closer?

Yes. No, wait. Make Hal do it.

Hal?

Ready and able. *Roll*

Hmm. You don’t see anything special at first, and you’re about to give up, when you suddenly find a small secret compartment at the underside of the desk. It contains a small key, which you pocket.

Bonus!
How about the cabinet?

It’s full of various books and documents about judicial cases and procedures. Did you want a closer look?

Why?
There might be something implicating the judge in here.

You see that there have been a large number of cases where the accused could not be proven guilty beyond reasonable doubt, in the last few months especially. Despite that, Bosper sentenced them all to die.

Anything we can use?

Sadly, Bosper has been very careful to exercise his powers in cases vague enough to still be up to him. You’ll recall getting off when the merchant made a giant ass of himself? Point is, there’s nothing here that the people of Riva don’t already know.

Damn. What about his bedroom?



In here, there’s something else entirely.


I probably should have just stoned him in the first round, but it’s not like it ended up mattering.

Did we just kill an ogre? In the judge’s private chambers?

Yeah, why?

As in, Judge Sexual Perversion?

Oh, god damn it, William, I did not want to think about the ogre like that. He’s like twice your height, too!

All the better to *umph* *umph*

He’s guarding the judge’s…stuff! Now lay off on that so I can think straight again.

Speaking of, what’s he got in the chest?

Two more health potions and a…“mengbilar.”

A what? Is it a slashing weapon?

No, it’s pointed. It’s also crap, actually; -3/-4 for only 2-7 damage.



You might find something better in here, though, if you survive the guards.


Here you can see me use another Transformation spell, “Salother.” The spell description is simply “Turns the spell target into a toadstool for a bit.” According to the manual, the spell cost changes based on the target’s Magic Resistance, so I think it might bypass the usual check, but it’s generally more expensive than Paralyze and less effective; as you saw, the guard turned back in time to take his next combat turn, damn it all.


Finally, it’s good to have some arrows again.
Anything else worth taking?

Not really. You all have equipment as good or better than anything here.

That combat really fucked me up. Good thing we picked up all those healing potions.

Good thing I rolled low enough that you lived.

Eh. Would’ve meant I could’ve read my book more.
That’s kind of rude, you know.
Yeah, but who cares about being rude when you’re dead?


You know, iron maidens weren’t really used in the medieval age. They’re a lot more complicated than they need to be.
You know what else? I don’t give a damn. I check the maiden for secret passages. If nothing’s there, then let’s try that balcony area.

The iron maiden is sadly secret passage-free. However, as you’re climbing up the staircase, William hears something.





I probably could have made this one video, but I was too trigger happy with the record button. Too late now, I suppose. Anyway, Rohezal here is the first person in this whole game who knows what the hell is really going on, so listening to him is probably a good idea.

Wait a second, our “thoughts?” Is this guy reading our mind? Lewis, have you been holding out on us?
Rohezal is just about the strongest white magician alive in the game’s background. If the module decided to bring him in, things must be going very, very badly somewhere.

Like with the orc war, perhaps?

Great of him not to kill all those innocents, huh? Like all the ones we killed to get here?
I’ve been feeling kind of bad for all these castle guards. Here they are defending the keep from intruders and we’re here killing them all for no real reason.
We’ve got a reason. They’re in our way.
Still, that’s kind of…evil.
There isn’t an alignment system. It doesn’t matter.
Plus even the good adventurers do it all the time. It’s all self defense.
Still kind of mean just to kill them all. Isn’t that war coming by here? I mean, it would’ve been nice if we could just knock them all out or something.
No real system for it, sorry.


You really need to work on those sound effects, Bob.


All right, time warp time. This update is long enough already, and nothing particularly important happens on the west side of the fortress. This here is the door we need open, which as you can see has a very oddly shaped lock. There are three other jail doors like this, with a couple guards in one of them.


This here is a key ring holder. The guard captain’s room, the one on the north side that couldn’t be opened, has its key hanging here. There’s also a smithy, but aside from killing the dwarf, I gained nothing from searching there.

Poor asshole just wanted to take a nap in his room. In full armor. With his halberd. And his amulet-shaped key.


That’s that. So who do we find?


I hope you didn’t want us to remember any of their names.
Why aren’t we done here yet?!
And how did they know everything ahead of time? They know the cook knows something, they know where the secret door is, they know we’re working for the guild to rescue them…I mean, aren’t we allowed to explain anything ourselves?

Do you really think you can remember enough of the plot to explain anything coherently?

Alright, you’ve got me there.
Man, these must be the most useless mages of all time to just get captured like this. Even Lewis could probably get out of this crap.
And without any AP, too. This is why vVhorpax has not and will not be making any vows of nonviolence or nonsense like that.


Another random combat occurred in the hallway, but I got sick of even recording combats by this point. Thankfully, there weren’t any more, as the cook was the last important bit to do and the castle was fully explored by this point.


Speaking of which, here’s the map itself. The wide passage on the center east is the way out of the castle, while the larger map is centered over Bosper’s quarters. The torture chamber is just northwest of the white square, with the prisoners’ chambers along the west wall. The two large lumps inside the main corridor are the smithy and blacksmith quarters.

So is the cook in the kitchen?

Mmm…not yet. There’s something else in his quarters you might want to find before confronting him.

He’s got his own room? Where?

You remember the room on the north wall where you found all the food recipes in the chest?

No.

Well, it’s there. And if you were to look under the bed…


It might be his girlfriend’s clothes. Why would you assume they were for him?
I’ve picked up a few trannies. Some of them just like acting out the role of women, everything included. Besides, the wizard said he knew something, and if Joster’s involved, all bets are off.

Bosper. Bosper Jarnug.

Close enough. So we get back to the kitchen. Is the cook back yet?

He is, in fact.


Hang on, so this was the guy we were supposed to meet? Bosper’s former lover?

No, that was someone else, the one who died in order to frame you the first time.

I thought that was the merchant.

No, he died to frame you the second time. The cook isn’t related to the court cases at all.

But he is the judge’s former lover?

Yes, along with the guy who died earlier.

God damn this guy got around.
So how about that chest?


This is the chest they were talking about. As you can see, there is a rather suggestive nook just behind it.



You move the chest the way the cook said, and sure enough, the wall slides away to reveal a secret passage, with a second chest hidden at its end.

I wonder what the castle judge needs a secret room for?
He needed to hide the evil bottles in here.
Yeah, but this is the kind of thing you build at the same time as the castle itself, and I’m guessing the judge hasn’t always been this evil dude. So what did all the other judges before him need a secret passage for?

They were all prescient and knew someone down the line would have to hide three macguffin pots in it. Now can we move on?


I’ll hold onto the pots. So what happens if we open them?

NOTHING, BECAUSE YOU DON’T OPEN THE POTS. Seriously, I’m not letting you guys get this campaign any more sidetracked than it already is. Now, there’s nothing left to do in the castle, so might I recommend making for the secret exit?


So can we hear what they have to say now?

You know what? No. No, I think I’ll save that for next time instead. You’d all probably forget the whole thing if I told you now.

We’ll forget if you tell us later, too.

I’ll take that chance. Oh, and Paul, your character has enough XP to level now.


Sweet!