Part 58: Episode XL: Paint it, Black
Episode XL: Paint it, Black
This is it...
"Bwahaha! I could do this all day."
"The fuck?"
"Huh?"
"What happened? Oh..."
I see a red door and I want it painted black
No colors anymore I want them to turn black
I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes
I see a line of cars and they're all painted black
With flowers and my love both never to come back
I see people turn their heads and quickly look away
Like a new born baby it just happens ev'ry day
I look inside myself and see my heart is black
I see my red door and must have it painted black
Maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts
It's not easy facin' up when your whole world is black
No more will my green sea go turn a deeper blue
I could not foresee this thing happening to you
If I look hard enough into the settin' sun
My love will laugh with me before the mornin' comes
I see a red door and I want it painted black
No colors anymore I want them to turn black
I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes
Hmm, hmm, hmm,...
Hmm, hmm, hmm,...
Hmm, hmm, hmm,...
Hmm, hmm, hmm,...
I wanna see your face, painted black
Black as night, black as coal
I wanna see the sun blotted out from the sky
I wanna see it painted, painted, painted, painted black
Yeah!
Aha, Aha, Aha, ...
Aha, Aha, Aha, ...
Aha, Aha, Aha, ...
Aha, Aha, Aha, ...
Aha, Aha, Aha, ...
Aha, Aha, Aha, ...
Aha, Aha, Aha, ...
Aha, Aha, Aha, ...
"Whoops! Shit. Threw the wrong thing. Dang. Super sorry."
"Hope that didn't cause any confusion..."
"I bet you'd like to use that thing, wouldn't ya, Topher?"
"Too bad life's a bitch then you die. Well...usually... Some get a get out of jail free card. Some get a few. Sadly, I don't think you make the cut."
"Cut this!" "Sonuva bitch! Why do you all suck at one-liners so much?! And why does this hurt so fucking much?!"
"The hell is going on with this shitty body? It wasn't like this for the other ones? No dick. Everything really hurts. Everyone feels compelled to shoot, stab, or blow me up. I feel like I'm fucking Rebecca. Why?!"
"COEN!! WILLIAM LESTER COEN!! THAT IS QUITE ENOUGH!"
"Crap...""YOU'VE TAKEN A PISS ON MY CREATIONS LONG ENOUGH!"
"But... Err... But... Have you taken a look at this thing? I... I don't think you made this one...""LET ME TAKE A CLOSER LOOK THERE! HMM! WOAH! WHAT IS THAT THING?! I'M NOT BITING THE BULLET ON THAT ONE!!"
"So... You're giving me a pass here, right?""YOU'RE AN ABOMINATION, WILLIAM! IT IS ONLY FITTING THAT THIS BE YOUR NEW CAGE OF FLESH! YOU WILL WALK THE ETHERAL LIMBO NO LONGER! YOU ARE BOUND HERE UNTIL YOUR UNDOING!"
"Goddammit...""I'LL DO NO SUCH THING!"
"Hey!"
"Fuck you..."
"Billy...FUCKING..."
"COEN!" "Dang..."
"Did... Did God just save us...?" "It wouldn't be the most ridiculous thing that's happened today..." "I need a career change..."
"Ugh... Did I miss anything?" "No... Not really... I'm sure you'll get around to seeing it at some point."
"This is retarded. Let's go get some sandwiches."Brad finally comes to the rescue.
Assume everyone loaded up into the chopper. As Capcom was too cheap to animate it.
Good bye, Spencer Mansion. Goodbye to your emblems, your traps...
...your files, your endless corridors, and terribly written past.
Try not to set the other half of Raccoon Forest ablaze on the way out.
Bonus Content:
Tyrant Kills Rebecca:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLRG3A_Wbh0
Tyrant Death:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYDH3rduVZw
Resident Evil: Remake Ending
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dl928jeU6e8
Original Game Bonus Content:
The Original Ending (sort of ):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i80XBTTSMh8
On the Epilogue...
JILL VALENTINE...
I am soooo getting laid tonight.
He's sooo not getting anything out of me.BARRY BURTON...
That bastard Wesker better not have done anything to my family.A few weeks later...
"Honey... I... I have something I need to tell you before I go..." "What is it?" "I... I think... I think that's I might be... be..." "What is it? You can tell me." "I think I'm pregnant..." "What?! That great? You hear that girls? You're going to have a new little...brother, I hope. Man, I hope it's a boy this time." "That's not what I was hesitating about." "What?" "Girls, wait outside for a minute." "What's going on?" "I... I don't think...that it's yours?" "What?! You don't mean... No... NO!! NOOOOOO!!"
"I'm so sorry..." "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"REBECCA CHAMBERS...
Gosh... Think of the money I could make... Forget S.T.A.R.S.
I know my true calling...CHRIS REDFIELD...
It's finally over...
Finally...
"Ugh."
"I really need to stop looking at the...sun?"
"No..."
"No!"
"Welcome back, Topher... It has been a while... Are you ready? Got your make-up checked? Bwahaha."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"
End of the Road...
Holy shit... It's over...? It's finally over?! I finished it all! I'm free! Haha! Fuck yeah! FUCK YEAH!
Well, I hope you pricks have enjoyed The Dark Id's presentation of the Resident Evil series. May your perspective on this terrible series be forever changed. May your contempt for files, emblems, silly keys, and plots by any Japanese developers stay with you into your late years. May Chinese space lasers, women with fire blood, vagina blobs, burly men wearing cheese heads, tentacle pimps, homicidal Jews, zombie gangsta leeches, and plotholes as deep as the abyss haunt your dreams. May I finally get to play a good game?
I think I just might...
Tune in next time for a better tomorrow.
Thank you and good night.
Resident Evil R.I.P. January 2nd, 2007 - November 12th, 2007