Part 32: Episode XXXII: Umpire
When last we left our heroine, she had descended into Umbrella's secret laboratory via an elevator/traincar/restroom thinger alongside her pint sized companion. Who is likely going to burst open and give birth to another unholy abomination within the hour. With that said, let's begin the final act... Kid's forgotten her line. This is the problem with child actors. Shit! Claire's turned! Watch out kiddo! Oh, never mind then. I still say my version would have been a better plot twist... Does Umbrella's secret laboratory really need a giant UMBRELLA LABORATORY sign on the floor? Claire hands over her Queen vest to the young girl. It seems she's finally just giving her up for dead. Like any rational teenager would have probably ten updates ago.Claire makes her way to the door. Ah, crap. "So perhaps the monster growing inside you will take long enough to chew through it, when it bursts through your chest, that you'll pass out from shock before you can see it staring back at you from your torn open ribcage." What's with Claire and getting paired with wrist cutter children? Since, surely there should be an antidote for mutant parasite impregnation amongst blood relatives after incubation over several hours. I'm sure such a dilemma has come up many a times in this organization.
Claire ditches Sherry in the office. Hopefully the dozens of blood thirsty mutants likely crawling around the place won't take it upon themselves to feast upon her before the mutant embryo tears her asunder. Time for some more aimless wandering in an ultimately linear fashion. And who would want to use a pedestrian normal elevator? Pfft. Ms. Redfield heads out to the 'Main Shaft'. Can you dig it? Which, of course, brings her to the Death Star. Seemingly bottomless shafts and catwalks over them are vital. For science, you see... in the lab.
The main fuse has been
removed and the power is
not active in some areas.
So, a ten story underground structure to power this thing (for science) and there's only one fucking fuse for the whole thing? Red and blue catwalks present themselves. This crushing lack of basic logic is making me blue, so that'll do... You know we're really in the endgame now. Outlandish key themes and emblems have given way to keycards. The shutter to the right is without power. So only one option left. I bet Claire wishes she kept that vest of her's now. The device our girl is staring at claims to be able to assist with the fuse dilemma. But, it first needs a 'fuse case' to operate. Luckily, there's one literally right behind her. As, it would be far too much of a convenience to only need to click the machine once to obtain this. One must grab the item... Open the inventory and select it... Stick it in the machine. Then, observe as the robotic arm slowly unscrews the fuse, churns over to the casing, then slowly screws it into place... Then, we'll get the goddamn fuse. How the fuck did this fuse get misplaced in the first place? Did Birkin decide, on his murderous quest for revenge, to be a dick to his co-workers first and toss it down the fifteen story drop? Knowing they'd have to go to the frozen room of fuses to get another one?
Claire finds herself glad no guys are around to make cold nipple jokes and proceeds into the West wing of the labs. So, how did the virus spread down here? I know Willie B turned into the big mutant thing and ran upstairs to wreck up shit. But did he go on some crazy killing spree first? The G-Virus seems to be only spread through deepthroating a tentacle, so it's not like he's contagious even if he did, or else there would be zombie/mutant Umbrella soldiers running around. And the rats spread the virus...but this place is several hundred feet underground. Did the rodents figure out how to work the train elevator? The shutter reveals a new, rather ridiculous enemy: the Ivy. The Ivies, as the name implies, are ridiculous plant men which stalk the labs. The whip with their plant tentacles. Spit out poison at the unsuspecting foes. And should one get too close, they'll give them a great big hug before melting their face off. Great for Bar Mitzvahs.
An Ivy takes a ridiculous beating to put down to everything but fire based attacks. Claire's flame rounds are the only answer against these jokers. Leon will get a little something to deal with them himself as well. Claire brushes in the opposite direction of the kooky walking plant men. A small living quarter opens up to Ms. Redfield. Within it, are a long lost buddy...files!
You didn't think you'd get away with just one, did you?
INVESTIGATION REPORT ON THE P-EPSILON GAS Translation: Claire can use this gas to have easier monsters to deal with. Leon will be fucked. This was, of course, immediately ignored in favor of growing eyes on arms and arms on eyes. Countermeasures to uncontrollable beasts? Who needs 'em?
USER REGISTRATION Really pouring on the security measures at Umbrella Inc...
Hey folks, guess what? Only two more files left in the whole thread after this!
"You do remember Nemesis, right?"
Nemawho?
"The game this thread started with?"
Fuck! I'm not done with this thread soon? Son of a...
You know what? Fuck Leon! Bring on the green color filter of malcontent.
Claire heads on out and scoots past the pair of Ivy guarding the hall. ...they built an elevator with a train on it but they couldn't make a fucking set of stairs for this?
Tune in next time for the worst goddamn architecture in the Mid-West in Episode XXXIII: Claire Fell Into a Wormhole, Okay?
Bonus Content
Claire goes a little overboard with the natural herbal conditioner:Video