Resident Evil 3 Part #34 - Episode XXXIV: ADAAAAAAAAA!

Part 34: Episode XXXIV: ADAAAAAAAAA!

When last we left our hero, that crazy soccer mom scientist, Annette Birkin, was firing off a warning shot to initiate her newest monologue. With that said, let's continue...

And who wouldn't want their legacy to be a violently unstable mutagen responsible for the death of thousands of innocents and the loss of the creator's humanity? Got to be better than the guy that invented the toothpick.

Claire? Ben? Ike?

Finally, someone calls Leon on this shit.

The Agency...?

Damn you, Gabe Logan!

Good to know that you can still Google someone even with a military quarantine, half the city on fire, and the other half infested with mutants.

"Nevermind the whole extremely flimsy backstory about searching for her long missing boyfriend on a rumor tip. Or the fact she's armed and snooping around the Umbrella controlled police station. The whole hour of interaction with her says you're a vile liar!"

So, she felt the need to get his attention and monologue the fact she knows the woman she saw him with for a split second a few hours ago is a spy for a company he doesn't care about. Also, a quick plug for her husband's super brew. Then, she was going to kill him...?

A crash comes from behind Leon.

"No tengo gusto de monólogos. Son muy aburridos."

Annette runs off to find the next victim to plug her husband's virus to.

"Look, guy. That hat looked stupid. I know you're bald and all but try something new."

"¿Por qué?"

Downing Señor X for the umpteenth time, Leon continues on to the power room for...no particular reason, other than he found a key to it...

Are we sure we didn't wander onto a Star Wars movie set at some point? Maybe one of the Final Fantasy VII sequels' joints?

We just killed this guy two minutes ago...

"Tengo un sombrero nuevo. ¿Te gusta?"

Leon is suddenly inflicted with Cutscene Stupidity Syndrome and turns around to back himself further into a dead end.

Before the Tyrant can attack or Leon can...you know...use that handcannon he's holding, a bullet cuts through our hat sporting adversary.

X ignores the guy armed to the teeth that has kicked his ass over a half dozen times to investigate the threat with a peashooter.

"I'm in a fucking dead end! That's the problem!"

"Stop... Yelling... My... Fucking... Name!!"

So enraged by Leon's constant screaming of her name, Ada neglected to notice she only had about three shots in her magazine. This assault wasn't thought out particularly well.

Since falling back or retreating is only an acceptable option if it leads to a dead end or being boxed in, as far as the Resident Evil universe is concerned, Ada slowly stands in place and reloads her gun. Meanwhile, Mr. X readies the bitch for a chokeslam!

Leon is powerless to do anything other than yell her name over and over. Perhaps as a mean of cheering her on. Maybe she can go for the reversal and Tombstone him through a table.

In a tragic turn of events, X takes a trio of bullets to the face. Bullets meant for Leon after Ada's nerves just snapped from all the continuous shouting of her attention.

The Tyrant returns the favor by flinging her into a random computer console. One which just happens to control the entire facility's self destruct mechanism. I wish I were making that up...

"¡No! ¡Mi sombrero!"

X barrels off the edge of the platform. Which just happens to be about 100 feet above an open pool of molten steel. What are the odds?

The scores are in:
U.S.A.: 9.7
U.K.: 9.5
China: 9.1
Russia: 7.8

"Or...at least...stop yanking on where...my arm was cut open... Prick..."

Man, all those great Ada/Leon team-up moments. Like...the time they fought off William stabbing through the roof of the cable car and... That one zombie they both shot... Oh, don't forget riding down that elevator together. That was riveting.