Part 35: Episode XXXV: What the Devil?

When last we left our heroine, she was trapped on the Jersey Turnpike due to a temporal anomaly in the survival horror space time continuum.

But, due to the effects of Leon's monumental yell of grief...

Claire is thrust back to roughly the point she originally began in, none the wiser of Leon's exploits ahead of her.

With that said, let's continue...

"Gee, it sure does seem to be taking a while to get down this ladder..."

So, are all those Green Herbs going to end up like this, if left unattended? The entire drug market of the area is going to collapse if this keeps up.

Claire continues further into the labs.

I have no idea what this computer device just asked me for... But, I'm sure we'll stumble over it within the next twenty minutes...

Moving right along. Claire sees no need to explore the Giger designed set. Are there no moths other than labs hundreds of feet underground?

Since we're entering the endgame, Claire can reap the benefits of rapid fire action to Rambo her way through the closing chapters of this act.

The laboratory contains a few goodies for Claire to check out.

Firstly, a shiny lab keycard for all the latest unlocking needs.

Secondly, a device which conveniently renders the G-Virus impotent, but will at no point be utilized other than initiating a small cross-laboratory fetch quest for Ms. Redfield. Since it would make too much sense to have all the components of the vaccine synthesis in the same place. Or even the same floor...

Claire begrudgingly sets off. She's either a way overly motherly figure for a nineteen year old or she's a pedophile and doesn't want to spoil what's fallen into her lap. With this series... I have no idea...

This woman gets around...

Did everyone kill William? Fuck off, lady.

To be fair, prior to this he had her handling lab rat droppings.

I'm sorry, but the phrase "William implanted her [his daughter] with his embryos" is all kinds of fucked.

"That is pretty fucked..."

This is going to end well...

You know, I can accept ventilation shafts large enough for a man to fit in. I can even accept a monster or two being in them. This guy? No dice.

"Hiiiiiiiiahyaaaah huuuuuuunhhheeeeee!"

"Eye waaaaNTeddddddd two TELL uuuuuuu someTHING!"

"Eye metttt SOMEONE elssssssssssse. Eye WANT uhhhhhh deeeevooooorce."

Another failed marriage. The statistics these days are grim.

Willie B jets off to enjoy his new bachelor lifestyle.

Is that some sort of circumcision joke? You people are sick.

Annette uses the last of her strength to pull off a magic trick.

The Magnificent Plot Device Instant Transportation! As performed by the fabulous Annette the Amazing!

I'M NOT TYPING ALL THIS OUT

Well, I guess we know what the "G" Virus stands for. Golf. William Birkin's other passion.

"Rewrites it into whatever is plot convenient at the moment. Needs more eyeball."

It's been a few hours now. I've got to think we're far past any deadline at this point. Sherry is probably some puss filled blob with three heads and seven ears at this point.

So I'm guessing that climb down a hundred foot ladder in a chilly open shaft is kinda going to fuck this process, huh?

Oh well, at least they're not making us slowly walk with the thing across the labs with a violent explosion resulting from the slightest jog or jolt. The developers would never make that assholish a gameplay element.

Claire tucks away the last file and...oh yeah...someone was dying this whole time at her feet...

"You were a mistake. Your mommy and daddy would still be alive if it wasn't for you. Got it."
"T-That wasn't what...what I said!"
"Bwahaha!"

Oh, Claire. Will your ice queen streak never end? Also, I sure do hope dying inches away from a ridiculously dangerous virus doesn't have any ill effects.

Tune in next time for quickie fetch quests, explosions, timers counting down, and tons of climactic boss fights in Episode XXXVI: The Self Destruct Sequence Has Been Activated.

Bonus Content

The Birkins get a divorce:
Video