Part 6: Episode VI: Cookin' with Gas.

Welcome back. When last we left our heroine, she'd met all that remains of the private army Umbrella sent in: a half dead fat guy, a dopey rookie, and a dirty commie. Thanks, Umbrella, you're swell. With that said, let's mosey...

Right, then. Jill now has to enact Nicholai's plan. More or less entirely by herself. Also, leaving the half dead comrade in the back of an undefended train car with a spreading fire right next to it is kind of a dick move. No wonder these morons got wiped out in the intro.

Jill heads back down the beaten. This time taking the path she'd skipped earlier.

Stagla Gas recently dropped their prices by $.05. Here are the results...

This must be a subplot of Back to the Future I took a piss during...

Jill needs that rusted crank she found earlier. Unfortunately, she may have ditched it back in the item box. Nothing like self imposed backtracking.

Oh well, it's not that far a jog. Though, Jill will have to deal with Resident Evil's most diabolical enemies yet:

Politicians!

The exit polls are in. Currently in the lead: pain.

Unfortunately, City Hall itself is boarded up...from the outside? I'm not sure how effective that is going to be. That's like bandaging an injury over someone's clothes.

Anyhow, Jill can now access that statue which was blocked by a two foot high fence earlier. The mayor seems slightly self absorbed.

Pressing a switch causes his hand to low three inches. In addition to being unable to scale waist high fences, Jill is incapable of reaching above head level. Women...

Jill now has the Bronze Book. Which, you may recall, goes to the sole emblem puzzle of this act of the game.

Since she's in the neighborhood, Ms. Valentine takes a quick trek back there.

And by the divine protection of the Emblem Gods, the electrified current of water is halted, allowing safe passage for the slut clad warrior.

Jill travels back to the statue, picking up the crank along the way.

The latest model fashion is getting fucking weird. Anyway, here are the crows. They fly around. They peck people that get near. They die in a single shot. They can be avoided by walking at a brisk pace.

That's all I got. Moving along.

Jill gives Mayor Warren the compass. His arm returns to place and he spins about.

Revealing a compartment in his backside. No eyebrows were raised on the budget committee for spinning electric statue of the mayor?

This reveals a battery. Just what Jill conveniently needs for that lift from a ways back.

Wait... Couldn't she have just looked behind the fucking thing and found the battery? It's not even plugged into the statue or anything. It's just a sliding door with a battery shoved in it... Capcom... You guys are pricks!

Jill heads back toward the gas station.

Man, this year's election campaigns are getting fierce.

Hot cranking excitement here, folks.

Comes to a tragic end. You know, I forgot about this part and had ditched the wrench back at the item box, figuring I'd just need it for the fire hose.

Another five minute jog.

Good thing that wrench just happened to be the exact size and shape to accommodate a broken rusted crank found shoved in the store room of a seedy shopping mall.

Five minutes of hot wrench spinning action later.

I don't even want to know what kind of hoops you need to jump through to get to the bathroom keys to this joint.

All fine establishments should be decorated with oversized novelty versions of those letter kitchen magnets.

The door opens behind Jill.

It's Mr. Personality himself.

Does it really require two people to find motor oil or a spark plug in a gas station? Really?

Stagla Gas: Dyslexia Friendly!

Jill checks the back to see what Nicholai is investigating. Which is, apparently, a bare wall. More importantly, I hope this doesn't become an issue.

Back behind the counter, Jill discovers a device that maintains oil temperature. Maintains it by none other than our first completely arbitrary puzzle!

Right. This one is ridiculous in both its implantation and its lack of difficulty.

There are four letters. One is lit up. The object of the puzzle is to have only the lit up letter have the box above it lit up as well. Pressing the assorted letters will invert the status of both the pressed letter and the letters on each side of it. For example, in the screencap, hitting 'B' would turn off A, B, and C. While hitting 'D' would turn on D and turn off C.

You probably played this game in Kindergarten. An eight year old with severe brain trauma could ace it in under a minue.

The mind boggler opens the cabinet, giving Jill access to a jug of Machine Oil. Alright, two down, one to go.

Jill begins to leave, but stops short for reasons known only to herself.

Meanwhile, Nicholai has somehow managed to turn on a severed wire sitting precariously over a huge pool of gasoline.

His mind snaps into action and he quickly grabs the wire and tosses it away from the hazard backs away slowly slackjawed.

The results are about what you can expect.

Fortunately for Jill, Nicholai seems to be caught in Bullet Time with the explosion in the next room and has time to call out his name.

"How did you know my name?! BARF!"

And run forward a few steps before the explosion reaches the next room. Cinematic gimmicks: they save lives.

Luckily, Jill's fire retardant mini-skirt and tube top prevent any major harm to her and she quickly makes an exit.

Jill is surprised to find a gasoline soaked fire at a petrol station is actually spreading.

Jill tries to ward off the flames with her arm funk.

But, she is forced to make a hasty retreat, as she's not quite at Claire Redfield two weeks of the same outfit BO yet.

Resident Evil: Video games' leader in killing off minor characters introduced within the last twenty minutes.

Tune in next time for more minor character development, more arbitrary puzzling, and more combo head popping in Episode VII: Sizzlin'.

Bonus Content

There goes the neighborhood:
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