Part 18: Episode XVIII: A Tale of Two Chainsaws

Welcome back. When last we left our adventurers, a brutal siege which lasted approximate eight minutes had come to a close. Also, Luis made a few more sleazy jokes and disappeared into the woods along with Ms. Wong, who shall not be seen for several an update. I think that about brings us up to date.

Leon mops up any leftover supplies from the near razed house. When finished, he heads outside to find old buddy Merchant has moved his shop. Nice guy. That or he was beating off to Ada from the shadows and needed to cover his tracks as Leon waltzed out. Whichever.

The shack next to him holds yet another bullet point on the Ganado incompetence Power Point presentation.

Two Routes

You know, except the guy who's killed about 300 of our men. Or the other guy that has a few dozen under his belt and knows our secrets. Or that one Asian chick that's killed another 200 or so of our men. But other than that, we're square.

From said very small covert operation that is kicking our asses.

"Just so we don't surprise them or anything with an ambush, we'll be sure to leave a map and pictures of his would be ambushers."

I still maintain Bitores is the most competent of the villain line up.

Nearby is a giant Acme gadget type switch for the two gates.

Leon carefully considers his options.

Carefully considers...

"Smashing good show, lad!"

Leon quickly flips the lever to the left and takes his chances with the Ganado mass.

So they wander off to the next horde to be slaughtered.

Another poorly crafted Ganado outpost awaits.

Leon is immediately ambushed by Ganado. Who saw that coming?

After a quick shakedown, Leon finds a new dumpster to shove Ashley into.

Escortee out of harm's way, Leon is free to get back to making middle aged men and women's heads explode. After clearing the area, he drops down to a nearby pit in hopes of finding a way out of the latest set piece.

A screech is heard from above as the Bella Sisters make their appearance.

One of them with PMS.

Leon quickly flees to a less exposed area.

One launches into a long female comedian tirade about the laziness of men.

Leon fires back with a Mitch Hedberg joke to ward off the ill effects of stereotypical bad comedy.

Meanwhile, Bella number two's career takes a nosedive off screen due to the fallout from a badly handled heckler incident.

The pair's failed comedic career yields profit and reward for our Leon.

Ah, so this is 'Camp'. I was starting to worry they'd dropped the unique naming scheme.

Encountering a quickly dealt with resistance, Leon locates the exit to this area

"You must gather your party before venturing forth!"

My head opens it quicker!

Outside, Leon finds an area which Ada had earlier encountered.

A lift leading further down is to the north.

Old chum the Merchant to the south. Though, he has not a thing new.

To the east, is an overly elaborate ornamental gate with a...retinal scanner? These people can't afford more than a single rifle, but they have an elaborate gate protected by a retinal scanner? Who is this cult's accountant? I want a word with him.

The shack near the Merchant's location reveals yet another handy abandoned note detailing Bitores and pals' plans.

Village's Last Defense

I thought for sure the mindless horde he'd massacred hundreds of or the giant he'd already killed once could take him this time!

Enlightening of betrayers:

Yes, the perfect place for an ambush. Had I not left my plans for such lying about right after my last ambush. I should really consider getting some sort of binder to keep these plans in.

Knowledge of Bitores's next nefarious scheme in tow, the two embark on a journey toward said scheme.

Their trip is not as easy as Ada had it, as a wave of Ganado lie in ambush. None considering just turning off the lift while they were half way down. Instead, opting to use the lift themselves and heave gardening tools at our heroes.

Little did they expect to be foiled by weaponry available for a few centuries.

Ashley pumps her fist at the American dominance which unfolds.

A short time later, they find themselves at the bottom.

Soon discovering Notspain shares an eastern border with Transylvania.

A short jog finds the pair back at the Ominous Boss Battle Placeholder #2 ™ which Ada encountered earlier.

Shove yourself in another trashcan. You'll blend right in.

Ashley trots off. Leon cautiously enters the warehouse which has a forecast this afternoon of partly cloudy with an 80% chance of boss fight

Leon takes a quick peak around the area.

That Mendez is damn good at hiding behind doors.

"Did you see the last game? Green Bay/Chicago. 26-7. It was highly entertaining. I'm a big fan, you know."

"Go long!"

Leon died for your winning presidential candidate's offspring's sins.

"Locks are for Bears fans."

"I heard you have some moves, Mr. Kennedy. Put on your jacket."

"You're about to get served"

Will Leon survive this grim encounter? What awaits beyond the fancy pants retinal scanner? Find out in the next exciting adventure, Episode XIX: Gorgonzola