Part 5: Sex, Drugs and a Huge Fat Beast
We rejoin Rex Nebular after his enjoyable but unsatisfyingly short encounter with the native woman. Being an extremely trusting lady, she has left Rex by himself inside her hut and has vanished somewhere, trusting that Rex will just up and leave once he's rested, without stealing any of her stuff. Rex will, of course, violate this trust. Because he's a man. A "Real Man".
Rex reflects on his latest conquest. And to think he did it without changing clothes in the past few weeks.
This poor bed looks as though it has seen a lot of use.
I thought there weren't supposed to be any other men on this planet?
The poor creature lies motionless on the floor. You can't help but feel that it's watching you.
Yes, I also get paranoid after intercourse.
"Love Altar".
You wonder what unusual ceremony this altar inspires. Perhaps you just performed it yourself?
PERHAPS
Several hand-painted pictures adorn the walls. Some of them depict scenes that you assume were derived from the Kamasutra, except that they take place in this very room.
I guess she liked those Keepers more than she seemed to then.
The twinkifruit looks sweet and succulent. It's a safe bet that this is the yummiest kind of native food.
Rex has got to have one of these!
That does look pretty tasty...
Rex decides to dine upon nature's candy.
With an extremely serious look on your face, you carefully hold the twinkifruit in both hands. You then begin to nibble on it slowly and deliberately, until it is all gone. You find this a most enjoyable experience.
Yeah sure, if you're a sissy.
This is more like it!!
You roll up your sleeves, pack the twinkifruit into a ball, and with a great roar stuff it into your face, where you chew on it once or twice and swallow it with a big gulp. Your follow up to this grotesque performance is an earth-shattering belch.
Now that's more like it!
Rex decides to blow this joint and head back to this field area. For some reason his text is a different font here. I don't think this ever happens again for the rest of the game, not sure what the deal there is.
Let's try the east this time.
There's that fucking monkey in the tree, looking through our binoculars. Rex needs them back so he can cover his next nudie poster properly, so he jumps to action!
This plant bears a round wooden stem with a soft core used for building huts, tools, weapons, and limbo poles.
Rex is an environmentalist, he only considers taking bamboo stalks that have already fallen off.
It appears to be a wooden stalk that fell from the nearby patch. It has probably been there a while, since the core has rotted out.
A piece of rotting dead wood would pretty much fit in perfectly in Rex's inventory. Ten to one odds on there being an "eat" and "smell" option available.
I really hope by now you've figured out where this is going...
...and that this isn't it.
You gently stroke the plant stalk a few times, but nothing happens. Perhaps you'd better think of something more productive to do.
Adventure Games 101: Cram every object together until your inventory resembles a gigantic ball of garbage to pass every puzzle.
They didn't even bother to upgrade the picture, that's uncharacteristically lazy of them.
This is like a bad episode of The Three Stooges.
Monkey (0:56) - Nothing spells comedy like shrinking the head of a monkey. Nothing. Also contains me missing the monkey like three times and trying to launch a volley of darts into the sky. 4 stars.
Finally we have our binoculars back, and so its time to head north.
Of course, things don't work out that way in Rex Nebular. I've included both the problem and the solution in the next clip.
The big fat thing (1:27) - I don't know what this thing is called but it's not very nice. Of course, as we all know, the weakness of any fatty is the dreaded twinkie.
And so Rex is forging into new territory in his quest to find the vase and a passage out of here. Tune in tomorrow to see what he finds up north... same Rex time, same Rex channel!