Part 7: Captured!

Oh no! Rex has been captured by some psychotic women that probably won't roll around in the sack with him (or will they?!) but probably have some nasty designs in mind nevertheless. Let's see what happens next.




Rex: Missionary?
Guard: Quiet, scum!

Hahaha, Rex is the man.



The girl in charge stores Rex's belongings in a security cupboard...

Marched (1:53) - ...and marches Rex down to his new home. It seems these girls have managed to kidnap a few enormous aliens as well. This is like the galaxy's worst zoo.



Rex decides to have a bit of a chat with the big dude next door, one of the few NPCs in the game we can interact with.



Why does everyone keep having to ask that around here? Rex decides to be a smart ass.

Rex: No, I'm a woman, fool.
Alien: Fine. Be that way.

What a sook. Obviously that's not a man either! Rex decides to initiate conversation again.

Alien: Hey pal, I asked you a question. Are you a man?
Rex: Yeah, I'm a man.
Alien: I thought so. You looked like one. Boy, are they going to have fun with you.

I'm not sure if that's good news or bad news

Rex: Who are you?
Alien: Call me Bud. It's easier than trying to pronounce my real name. I am an explorer from another sector. I was checking out this system when I discovered a mass reading where there shouldn't have been one. A minute later this big ship decloaks and blasts me. They found me unconscious in my escape module and brought me down here. That was a month ago. All I can think about now is getting out of here.

Bud is quite the talker. With the large font, those eight sentences of dialogue take up almost the whole screen.

Rex: What is this place?
Bud: This is a small underground complex inhabited by female humans who call themselves "Keepers". What little I know of this place I learned overhearing the guards. It seems there are no human males here, so I can understand their interest in you.
Rex: Who are all those lovely ladies on the surface?

You've only met four ladies on the surface so far. One kicked you in the groin, another ate your head and another shot you through the chest. That isn't much of a strike rate, Rex.

Bud: The Keepers refer to them as Stock. They must mean breeding stock. Beats me how they keep reproducing without any men around. I really need to get out of here.
Rex: So where are all the men?
Bud: I haven't figured that out yet. I've heard people refer to "The Great War", but I don't know what they're talking about. God I hate this place.

I love the way "GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE" basically takes the place of the end of a sentence for Bud.

Rex: Is there any way out of here?
Bud: You think I'd still be here if there was? I've tried everything. If I could just get past this force field I'd teach those guards a thing or two about putting sentient beings in cages. I'd kill anything that got between me and that teleporter.

How philanthropic of you.

Rex: I'll try to bust us both out of here.
Bud: Thanks, pal. If you can get me out of this cage, I can take out those guards and their puny machines.

One more question to ask...

Rex: What's that thing in the cell next to you?
Bud: Whatever he is, he's hungry. He's got me plenty mad, too. I'm sick of listening to screaming and munching noises all day long. I asked him to be quiet but he ignored me. He asked if I was light meat or dark meat. If I get loose I'm gonna bust him up pretty good.

Hahaha, light or dark meat. I love the way this game just pulls a Star Wars and assumes that each alien can understand each other alien's language, even when one of those languages just consists of crunching and bellowing.

Rex: Well, it's been nice talking to you.
Bud: Just get me out of here.



Rex potters around for a little while but, before long, some guards come to collect him.

Gurney (1:05) - Rex is taken to a medical room which, for reasons unknown, contains an enormous saw blade and a gigantic faucet. He also gets knocked out, just for good measure.



Rex wakes up tied to the gurney with a young lady arranging a medical table next to him. Rex would normally be paying the most attention to the lady but the saw has his notice for the time being.

This large, sharp, intimidating blade sends a shiver down your spine.



Judging by the size of the faucet there must be a great deal of cleaning up to do around here. You wonder what sort of activity would require such frequent large-scale cleaning.

I'm not so sure I like where this is going...



Rex could only keep his attention away for so long.

This pretty young woman is tinkering with something on the instrument table.







Time to strike up another conversation! Rex figures he may as well start out with his smoothest move.

Rex: Would you mind untying me?
Intern: Sorry, I can't do that. As much as I'd like to, you're a patient and we must have a look at you.
Rex: Where am I?
Intern: You are in our medical facility, awaiting examination.

Now's your chance, Rex! Make your move!!

Rex: Who are you?
Intern: I am Doctor Slache's assistant. I provide her with sharp instruments and clean up after her examinations. This is fun. I don't talk to many REAL men.

...let's call that a draw. Rex decies to change topic for a while.

Rex: Do you know anything about a precious vase?
Intern: Vase? No. Sorry, I'm not much into art. Too bad for you the men are all dead. I heard they used to consider art collections a status symbol. The richer ones had huge collections.
Rex: Can you tell me about these art collections?
Intern: Do I look like a history teacher? I don't know who had what, that was before I was born.

Rex decides now is the time to get back to the more pressing point.

Rex: Examination!? What examination?
Intern: We need to determine if your genes are worthy to be mixed with ours. If so, you will serve as breeding stock. If not, you will serve as fertilizer.

I've had dates like this.

Rex: Breeding stock? That doesn't sound so bad.
Intern: You would probably enjoy it. Then again, there may be some discomfort between the 600th and 800th times. Naturally, the second day is worse.

Boom-boom.

Rex: Why do you need me?
Intern: Because we need to continue our race. Since there are no men around, we must either use the dreaded Gender Bender or capture the occasional stranger such as yourself.
Rex: Where are all the men?

Rex is a bit slow on the uptake.

Intern: They all died when we won the Great Gender War. Thanks to the Gender bender we had no need for their filth. Of course the occasional pet such as yourself can be useful.
Rex: What is a "Gender Bender", anyway?
Intern: It's a machine that changes the user's sex. We disgrace ourselves by using it, but it's the only way to continue our race. Unfortunately, they effect wears off at unpredictable times, so there are some awkward moments.
Rex: So what's a transmorph?
Intern: "Transmorph" is a villager term for a Keeper who has had her gender bent. They don't think much of our machine and blame us for the lack of men, but they serve their purpose.

You know, the villagers probably have a point.

Rex: Never mind.
Intern: Okay.

Better luck next time, Rex.



Suddenly, an explosion rocks the room. Our young intern takes off to investigate, and Rex seizes the oppurtunity and springs into action!



You look carefully at the scalpel and make a mental note that it is, in fact, a scalpel. Further revelations are not immediately forthcoming, however.

This is actually the standard "Look" message the game gives when there is nothing to say about an item.



That doesn't mean it can't be picked up, however!



Shortly after picking it up, however, a scary-looking lady comes walking out from the side room. One can only assume this is the dreaded Doctor Slache.


Things could be about to go very badly for Rex. How badly? Check back tomorrow to find out!