Part 15: Update 13

Last time we witnessed the adventures of Rex, he was busy exploring the most manly city in the known Universe. What will his next destination be?



Oh, now we're talkin! Rex's eyes make a beeline for the enormous statue.

Wow! You would give your left pinkie to meet the woman who modeled for this statue!

She probably wasn't really that tall, Rex. It does make you wonder though... they were at war with women, yet they have a pleasure dome and an enormous woman? You can't imagine the girls having a big chiselled marble statue of a Herculean-figured man.



Wow! You gather this must have been quite a place--when there were people here that is. The lights are still working, but there doesn't appear to be anyone inside.

Yeh.. wait a minute, was the narrative just having a go at us there?



Maybe a woman will still be there, Rex. And maybe she won't be 120 years old.

There isn't anyone in there. You note that the prices are listed in a denomination you have never heard of before. They obviously don't take galactars here.

You don't have any galactars anyway, man, that's the whole reason we came to this awful planet in the first place. You could trade in the chicken or something?



It appears to be locked. The lock mechanism also looks corrosion welded. Even if you had a key it's unlikely you would be able to get this thing open.



Feeling let down, Rex decides to focus on that other most manly of activities - fishing!

This appears to be a functional boat that someone hung over the seafood reastaurant to give it 'atmosphere'. The cables holding it there are attached to something on the upper level of the city. It must have been quite a job hanging it here. Lowering it would probably be somewhat simpler, but you'd have to find the upper ends of the cables first.



You see a small restaurant with a few tables and a counter. There appears to be a cash register on the counter but you can't make out any more details from here.

Will you actually break into it this time Rex, or will you wimp out again?



Let's go in and find out!



Gordon Ramsay would be appalled. And then he'd probably swear or something.

The marlin trophy on the back all is smelling the room up. The strange sea monster head near the cash register looks rather odd. You wonder if such a beast could possibly exist?

Foreshadowing? I guess we'll find out. Also, "smelling the room up"? What, is it a real marlin or something?



Evidently there was so little business here that the owner had to close off the rest of the dining room. At least you probably got personal service.

Maybe the problem was having an enormous dead fish stapled to the wall next to your table?



Rex decides to see if there is any food left over.

It looks like they might have sold fresh fish here too. There are three ice chests built into the counter. The probably haven't been emptied in a LONG time.



Rex considers cracking open the eskies, but decides to crack open the cash register instead.



Holy shit, he's actually going to do it!



There is no money in the cash register (I guess the business was going bankrupt after all) but there is a padlock key.



There are no safes in here, though. Where could the key be used?



We'll find out later on, I suppose. Time to head to the next destination!



Here we find some kind of abandoned mall. That sells lungs.



Seriously, what is up with that shit.

Someone was running a special on internal organs. You wonder if they were being sold as replacements, or as stew meat.



Rex is starting the scrape the bottom of the barrel of things to stare at in Machopolis.

The brick continues up to the next level, then gives way to sheet metal. You pause again to marvel at the size of the cylinder in which this enormous city is built.



I guess this is for the air bikes.

This looks like a hitching post for horses. The presence of such a device strikes you as out of place in a city which uses MLV's for transportation.

Dude, it's for the air bikes.



This culture must have taken their designated handicapped parking spaces seriously. In fine print, at the bottom of the sign, you read "Violators will be given good reason to park here."

Niiice.



We can't actually enter the mall, but what about this elevator?

It appears that the eleveator doesn't work without some sort of access card.

I'm sure we can still walk smack into the door and say "Ouch!" though. We're good at that.



There was nothing we could do in that place at the moment, so we came here instead, our first destination on the upper level. You'll notice it's a bit glitzier up here, it must have been the richer section. And yes, that is a fountain of a man taking a leak. Welcome to man town.



Rex isn't REALLY looking. Look, he's turning his back.

As you stare at the statue, your bladder beings to fell distinctly smaller and tighter. You quickly force yourself to look away before a horrible accident happens.

That fountain IS a horrible accident.



One day, I want to have a house that has my name in neon lights on the entrance.



Holy Christ. This house is a disaster. Forget basketball hoops and baby powder, this is the lowest rung of humanity right here.



Ah yes, the obligatory theatrical masks. These could probably be used as targets at a skeet shoot.

Obligatory? Theatrical masks are never obligatory.



Argh! How could someone actually put these things on his wall?! A wave of nausea passes through you.

On second thoughts, nix the neon sign dream.



This looks like a standard wall safe. A small dial and a handle feature prominently on the door of the safe.



Well, it isn't exactly a fireplace. It's more like an "ugly little corner with blinking lights in it". Being the type of person who couldn't even own a spacecraft without a genuine wood-burning fireplace you cringe at the plastic logs and electric lights.

This is the lamest house ever.



The appeal of the silly lamps in this room escapes you. You imagine them serving better as ballast.



Considering the rest of the decor, you are not at all surprised to find one of these here.

300 possible destinations in Machopolis and this is one of the only places left accessible.



What fearsome sights await us in the next room?



A.. woman's changing room. But this is a man's town? Unless...



These look like the items Bruce is wearing in the photograph across the room.

I'm suddenly feeling a lot less good about that pleasure dome.



Well, when in Rome...

O.K. You grab the slip and put it on. You throw the bra on for kicks, and wrap the boa around your neck. You then skip out into the street where you dance for hours. And then again, maybe not.

Yup, Rex is all man alright. Now let's continue to spend time staring at Bruce's stuff.



A magazine review of Bruce's first stage performance. You scan it quickly. Only the passages ". . . could swear they were real . . ." and ". . . thought the enemy had broken in . . ." stick in your mind. The reviewer must have liked the show. He gave it four-and-a-half stars.



Bruce does cut a fine figure.

You see a tall woman in front of a theater on opening night. You are about to comment on her legs when yourealize this must be Bruce. You swallow hard and stare at the floor for a moment.



And then stare at some more photos.

These are snapshots of Bruce in various outfits at various theatrical events hanging all over the walls. Obviously, Bruce just couldn't get enough of himself.

Herself. Himself. Whatever.



It is a circular case containing various shades of blush and a small mirror. The brush used to apply the makeup appears to be missing.

Whatever will we do without that?



One can never have enough makeup.



Yes, Rex, the mirror. The mirror is what we're interested in here.



The skirted vanity is covered with miscellaneous make-up accessories.

I love the way the game will only skirt on lesbians but has the most stereotypically flamboyant house ever for a crossdresser.



Rex gets a plan all of a sudden. Running back to the laser room, Rex gets out the compact case. We've got reflectin' to do!!

Laser Beam (0:35) - Rex reflects the laser beam straight up in the air, where it shoots through the roof. You get a bird's eye view of the city in this video too, it's actually pretty neat.



If you go back and check the car map, Bruce's place is directly above the laboratory. In the sky there you can see the laser beam passing directly through Bruce's house.



Justice has been served. Bruce's house has been sullied. Rex's mission is complete.


Next update, we'll finish exploring the city and then start to look for that vase!