Part 18: A Pair of Jokers

In the last update, Rex traded in approximately 2 hours worth of batteries for an ID card that probably took 2 minutes to make. Some might claim it wasn't a wise trade but Rex knows differently. He's going to access the secure sections of Machopolis! Of course, there are actually only two sections of the city that we have access to that require the card, the security station near the teleporter, and the elevator at the mall. Rex decides to access the security station first.





Time to put this new ID card to work!

Glove (0:13) - Of course, nothing can ever go right for Rex, so when he uses his disappointing fake ID, instead of being granted entry he is instead granted a gigantic boxing glove to the head. No, seriously.

Forget this shit, we're going to the mall instead.



3-1 odds on another boxing glove... I wonder if it's too late to get those batteries back?



Holy shit, it actually works, I can't fucking believe it.



Wow, this is a pretty cool view of the city. I guess this is some kind of service platform. Even cooler than the view is the fact that we finally get a different theme song up here - though it's the same as the menu theme. Oh well, beggars can't be choosers.

These probably served some purpose during construction of the city. Time and weather have taken their toll on these outcroppings, in some cases revealing the reinforcing steel beneath.



You are standing on what must surely be a maintenance platform above the city. A breathtaking view of the city stretches before you, revealing the bizarre two level structure in it's entirety. Apparently, the entire metropolis was constructed inside an enormous, inactive volcano cone. Far below, you see the glowing magma which warms the city. Behind you and beyond the rim of the city, you can see only ocean. You pause for a moment in awe of this engineering marvel, after which you notice that you are standing almost directly over a large statue of a beautiful woman.

I guess a 50-foot tall statue would kind of stand out... though the city layout would kind of indicate that the statue should be a way away from here. The game has actually been pretty tight in terms of making sure both levels match up, but it dropped the ball a bit here, unless the elevator whizzed half way around the rim of the city on it's way up.



A sharp metal hook protrudes from the right-most pylon. The weather has rusted most of the metal away.



Rex decides to tie the line to the hook. If we really are right above the statue, this should fall down by the pleasure dome.

You skillfully tie the fishing line to the metal hook, then toss the fishing line towards the large statue below.



Let's keep exploring this section.



Hahaha, I love that laser.



An ID card glimmers in the pile of bones! Perhaps we can upgrade our fake ID.

A nearly complete humanoid skeleton lies scattered about near the teleporter entrance. There are many recognizable bones in the small heap. Half buried in the bones is a small, laminated card.



Yoink!



"Buck Naked"? Sigh.

That teleporter is strange. Let's go inside.



For some reason, this teleporter has it's own theme song not heard anywhere else in the game. It's a kind of quiet, foreboding song. I don't know why, because the teleporter doesn't work. You can't even enter numbers into the display. The bones outside indicate that it isn't working, but I mean, there's literally nothing we can do here other than listen to our nice, unique music. Meanwhile around 20 screens in Machopolis share a single theme song.



Rex finds the tallest building in the city - that sticks above the rim. This building supposedly contained the best art collection in the city.

Binoculars (0:41) - Rex spies inside Governer Bigfish's house and sees it: the vase! Now he just hasto figure out how to get there! Oh, I lied incidentally, the music from the teleporter also plays when you spy on the building.



Now that we have a proper ID card, let's head inside the security place here and see what we can find!



Nice, a weaponry room!



Cool! You saw one of these on display at a future weapons conference. The exhibition was phenonimal. Ever since then, you've always wanted to carry one around in your back pocket.

I can't even imagine what a nuclear slingshot would be.



You get an eerie feeling that maybe you shouldn't be here. It's the same feeling you had right before you were blown out of the sky.

Surprisingly unsettling line right there. I always kinda expected someone to bust down the door at this stage.



This looks interesting!

It looks like someone left behind a couple of detonators.



Finders keepers!



Now what shall we do with these?



Rex decides to create a Pyrobomb.





Rex really has a thing for the phallic inventory objects.

You GENTLY rub one of the bombs. You rub it some more. You rub it a little harder. The side of the bomb is starting to get shiny, but the nitrate-genie still does not make an appearance, so you give up.



How do you improve a bomb? By making it into...



A TIMEBOMB!!!



Rex has a real destructive streak at the moment.

You should find a good place to put it first. Setting the timer and THEN finding a place to put it could be an extremely stressful experience.

This is a good point. But before we detonate it, we have one more thing to take care of.



In case you haven't figured it out yet, our plan is to destroy Machopolis. When the sea waters flood the volcano core, we intend to hop into the boat from the service deck, and ride to the only building not submerged - the governer's building, which sits above sea level. It's actually a pretty good plan.



As long as we can get back to the elevator in time, we should be able to retrieve our boat.



Farewell Machopolis. We barely knew ye.



Tune in tomorrow to see the destruction of the most manly city in the galaxy. Bring beer.