Part 16: It Sure Is Crowdia In Here

So, where were we? Oh, right, stilted and awkward JRPG love scene; giving nerds hope since 1986.



: (But what if...?)
: (No, I shouldn't be negative. Yes, I should just tell him!)
: Uh... I... I think I'm in...

Suddenly a loud crash happens from off-camera. You can probably guess what caused it already.

: What was that!? Cornet, stay here while I find out what's going on! I'll be right back, so just wait here, okay!?
: Oh, my Prince! We aren't supposed to do that...



: We've just met and we don't know enough about each other, you know...
: Uh...
: Hey space case, the Prince went down to the dance hall.
: ...How long have you guys been standing there?!
: From "Oh, my Prince!"
: To about "We've jut met and we don't know about each other..."

So, the entire time then. Why not just say so?

: Ha ha ha! How lame can you possibly get?
: I can't believe you two just stood there and let me pour my guts out!
: This is so humiliating!
: Anyway, let's go catch up with the Prince!



: Cornet! It's dangerous here! Go hide somewhere!
: Hide? Where? The room is filled with monsters.
: Okay... I'll give you this. This is a HOLY CHARM, an heirloom of the Marl family.

The Holy Charm is one of the best accessories and you're just given it. This is going on Cornet and never, ever, ever coming off. Half SP for everything? Don't mind if I do. Some of her skills (all the puppet quest ones in particular) have giant SP costs.

: Cornet, promise me that you'll take care of yourself.
: Oh, I see how it is.
: Why didn't you just say, hey why don't you feed yourselves to the monsters so Cornet can get away.
: Yeah, whatever happened to equal treatment?
: Uh...Good luck to you guys too!
: Whatever!
: Too late for that now.




Yet again these guys are completely unchanged from the first encounter we had with them! It's not even a time consuming distraction or anything; it's literally just "click auto, wait all of 5 seconds, victory." Most random encounters are the same at the moment for that matter.



This is pretty handy; it restores 100 HP to everyone.

There's no way to actually leave the castle right now; you could run into the bathroom to try and take the secret passage but it doesn't let you go down there because plot.



: Where did you learn how to drive!?
: Ha ha ha! Maybe if you hit your head hard enough, you might become smarter!
: Why, you little! Maybe if I hit you hard enough it might make your face more pleasant!
: ...Sigh... Why must I be surrouned by such cretins...
Crow: Caw! Caw! Cretins! Cretins evermore!
: You better shut that bird of yours up before I do it myself!
: You're probably the dumbest one here!
: Oh...god...Please forgive these lowly vermin for their insolence... They are simply jealous of my beauty. It's only natural that they'd act this way.
: Are you done talking to yourself, Crowdia?



: You're giving me a headache!

Due to this one line, and this line alone I can't help but hear Marjoly's lines in the voice of Barbara Goodson. Maybe that's just me though.

: Yes, Marjoly.
: Ahem... Ladies and gentlemen of the court, please let me introduce myself... My name is Marjoly, Mistress of Magic and everything inbetween. A few days ago, one of my followers was harassed by a member of the royal family. Ansd I've come here today to pay that person a visit. Does anyone here know anything about this?
: (No... too many people will get involved if they start attacking!)
: That's the guy! He's the one who picked on me!
: Okay. Then let me...



: Oh, Marjoly.
: He is so... H A N D S O M E

Let's see... the Prince has to be about 17 or so. Marjoly is obviously way, way older than he is. Yes, folks, the villain is quite possibly JRPGs first ever (and maybe only?) cougar!

...Now there's a sentence I never thought I'd ever have to write.

: ...Not again...
: ...Interesting.
: Hey Marjoly! Whatever happened to getting even?
: Can't you see I'm in love... I'm in love with the Prince!
: Hi, loverboy. Do you wanna play with me?
: What are you up to, witch?!
: Ho ho ho ho ho ho!! Playing hard to get, eh? I see... I like that in a man! Rrrr! I'll take care you later big boy, so... Good night for now!




It's amazing how casually she says that. She hasn't realised just how badly she fucked up just yet, though...



...And now she has.

: I used the wrong spell!!
: ...Oh well.
: Spells are supposed to be the only thing that Marjoly is good at doing. I guess we were wrong!
: Ga ha ha! Yeah, first went her youth and now her magic ability, too! What's left?
: Gaaah!! Shut up, all of you! Take the Prince to the castle, so I can think of something!



: ...Who are you calling an old maid, huh?



: Stop singing along with them!!
: Yes, Marjoly!!
: How dare you make fun of the greatest sorceress of Marl's Kingdom! You'll regret this!! All of you!! Get them!!
: Nah...I don't feel like it.
: ...Oh well.
: Why don't you do it yourself?
: Just get rid of them!!



So, this is it... time to just brush these guys aside, take down Marjoly and then... wait, what just happened? Well, that... didn't go as... planned. That was over fast, to be sure. Just, not the way we wanted. Even with Etoile dealing, uh, what was that? 20 damage? Well, umm... yeah. You kinda can't win this fight either. At least this time it's sorta expected (there wouldn't be much of a game if you could beat them now after all); these guys might not seem like it, but they are all bloody powerful, and this shows it. Really, really well.



: Yeah! Marjoly is the oldest witch in the land! You couldn't possibly...
: SHUT UP! How many times do I have to tell you? Ixnay about-ay I-may age-ay! Upid-stay! Let's go!!

Next time: Women are All About Taking Action!!

...I half-wish I was making that chapter title up.