Part 16: The Engrishy Fortress

Before we head to the final dungeon, we have some business with Kotetsu.



Kotetsu: It's a long story. My business failed, and I put it up as collateral on a loan. Then I was told if I spied on a certain kid from a certain planet, they would give it back. So I watched you. What? A common thief? Well, That's just a side business. Why were you in a place like that? What?! Going to the Fortress?! You might save her, but if you make enemies of them, 1,000 lives won't be enough!



OH hey again Mint.



Mint: I know how to tail people. I was following a man, and found this ship. By the way... I heard what you said. A Fortress. A Princess. Sounds interesting!

Kotetsu: It's not! Getting involved in such a mess. No thanks!



Mint: This little boy is going to a Fortress, and you can't help?! What are you, a man or a mouse?!

Kotetsu: Wh-what?! If you say that, I'll have to do something! I see. Fortress or not, I'll go anywhere! But I'll just go! I won't be responsible!



These are nouns







Oh my, that is one big fortress.



With many floors.



Kotetsu doesn't want Mint coming along, but she'll force her way in anyway.



She also seems to have some gender issues





Kotetsu: You must be joking. I was collecting lots of stuff for you.



Kotetsu: Oh, he's just my protege. Remember him well. Anyway, I brought good stuff. Your favorites! Mufufu as well.

Soldier: What?! Mufufu?! Let me see.



Well aren't you an asshole still.

Robotrek Tunes – Hackers' Supreme Fortress



In here, the direction of the conveyor belts can be switched around, depending on where you need to go.



Collecting a Scrap 4 and a Repair, we end up in a room with a mouse hole.



Soldier B: Choco couldn't stop the Hackers. The Ruler rules! Ha ha! Get it?



Soldier C: Probably Quintenix next. I hear it will be soon.

Soldier B: Too bad, a little planet like that can't compete with the Fortress.





Upstairs we run into recolors, and they're not much stronger than their first iterations.



Multiple colors of Pixies show up here in droves, and they naturally still have high defense against most attacks that aren't melee. These ones resist both Blade 4 and its RUN combo.



More recolors upstairs on the second floor. Big Faces have a nasty tendency to Critical hit if they do hit you.



In a room with three doors, Kotetsu pretends to stop us as he's managed to get the Hacker's uniform he was talking to earlier.



Mint found a way on, of course, so we gotta find her somewhere; Kotetsu tells us she's in the next-floor Prison, behind a red door we passed previously. There are also yellow and blue doors, and Kotetsu tells us the password to the red door.



Knight recolors show up past the red door, but are weak to RUN commands.



Up here we kill a Hacker who was standing on a switch that opens the jail cells.



We only find Tira at first, though. She shows us the way outta here.



Except it's a trap.



After coming this far, I'll take you to a suitable place. Take a break there.



Gateau sends us all the way down the trash chute to the basement, so we gotta climb back up.



We put on our cool shades to fight some new enemies.



First are Gagarians, a simple three-hit combo will suffice. They have a chance of dropping Boots 6.



Ninjas are also down here, and they need to be taken out with the Axe 3, or even better, with Blows.





Do mice have “nests”? I always associated that with birds.



Talking to Mint, she moves outta the way so the mice can go in and so can we. Mint tells us there's an elevator, but it's inactive.



The room with the mouse hole has a switch, we will make the elevator work, so let's head back to where we first entered here, since we ignored a path.



Up to the third floor we go.



On the third floor, we find a room with 3,000G and a Scrap 7, but this is pretty superfluous now.



another room, another mouse hole



Is the woman in his room now? I saw her! She's cute.

What? I haven't seen her! A cute Princess? Let's have a look...



That was some vital info alright.



Further in, we find Blackmore cleaning some urinals.





When the Fortress exploded I barely got out. I came to the Fortress. Because of Quintenix, the Eternal Janitor was my sentence! I was the Hackers' leader! They invented a No-Run Program to keep me here! If I run my body hurts!



Because he cleans everything, Blackmore has the Key that we need. In return for freeing him from the No-Run Program later using the Fortress Computer, he tells us the Yellow password. Now that we have it, we can revisit a few rooms on each floor that require the password, however all of them basically reroute us to our goal – getting into the computer again.



In this room with multiple Gagarians outside of the second floor elevator, we're going to grind to 50 because the final bosses are a bit tough. Level 50 allows you to make Bomb 4s, if you read the book in Choco.



Back on the third floor, we put on the Cyberjack and head into the computer.



It's once again a multicolor trippy experience, and yellow barriers prevent us from exploring very far.



Once more, we run into Bugbug.



What? The No-Run program? Yes, I have one. That's not so easy. If you want it, you'll have to beat me. The day has come to test the Speed Chip and the Speed Management Program.



Bugbug II has higher stats, and still has high resistance to the Sword 4 and Blade 4, so use alternative weapons.



His cannon has a chance of confusing you, and since there are no ways to nullify status effects through armor, you'll just have to rely on your (hopefully) maxed-out speed to prevent it from happening.



With the Boots 6, you'll be getting back attacks very frequently, this is not tough at all.



And so we defeat not-Drowzee (… perhaps not-Hypno now?) once again.







Now we have the Key we need.



Heading out a door into a room nearby Blackmore filled with security bots that summon mook Hackers, we find a way to the outside area of the Fortress.



Tira: It's big full of people, and interesting. With a fortress like this you don't fear the Hackers.



Tira: … That means I was kidnapped, I hadn't noticed. I can't just sit still, let me follow you.

In here, Tira goes through some translation errors and shows how absolutely incompetent she is.



Gateau stops us, of course.

It's been a long time. We meet after hundreds of years. The Time Slip sent the ship into the future. But it gave me the power to build this Fortress. I'm impressed you got this far, but this is the end.



I'm beginning to be more puzzled by this translation by the second.

Gateau: Right, Tira. I really am the Fortress' Ruler.

Tira: Ruler? Ah... so you're the Hacker Ruler?

Gateau: That's right, but don't worry. I won't hurt you.

Tira: So I'm a hostage? That's awful. Step aside.

With the power of Engrish, Tira punches Gateau into space.



This whole conversation is stupid.

Tira: Outside was outer space... Gateau is ok?



Engrishtacular!





Before going back to Choco, I want to point out a hidden library in the game, Kirara. It's about five spaces right, and seven to nine spaces up from Quintenix, between the blue star to the left and the large yellow to the right.



Polon/Cookie is here, and this library contains every book in the game, including the last three; 60, 70, and 80 teach you how to make Laser 3, the Solar Pack, and the Blade 4, should you grind that high.



Next time: The end of the game.