Introduction

Alternate Thread Titles

Bring the Noise, Bitch: Public Enemy's 1986 North Korean Tour
Let's Drop Some Motherfucking Fucken' Amateurs
Let's Play with our Dicks << REJECTED FOR UNFUNNY "DICK" JOKE

Rogue Warrior is a first-person shooter video game developed by Rebellion Developments, the same assholes responsible for the thoroughly abysmal Shellshock 2 (The subject of my previous LP), the similarly titled Rogue Trooper (Which is roughly a hundred times better than this game), and the mediocre 2010 Alien vs. Predator game. Funnily enough, they're actually responsible for the original AvP on the Atari Jaguar as well (which wasn't complete shit back in '94), the engine of which they recycled for the aforementioned Shellshock game.

Rogue Warrior follows foul-mouthed Navy SEAL Richard Marcinko on a mission into North Korea to disrupt ballistic missile launchers. Marcinko eventually makes his way to scenic Cold War Russia, blows some more shit up, and makes disparaging comments about the sexuality and dental hygiene of Communists. The plot has absolutely nothing to do with the autobiography it takes it's name from. Marcinko was voiced by actor Mickey Rourke while he was on a lunch break during the filming of something undoubtedly far more tolerable than this game.

Wikipedia posted:

The game received staggeringly poor reviews from video game critics, citing it as one of the worst games of the 2009 year due to its unresponsive controls, multiple glitches, extreme and incredibly frequent foul language, rushed production, uninteresting gameplay, short length, very limited multiplayer, as well as broken and/or exploited combat techniques that are offered in the game.

In other words, this shit is bad in a bad, bad way.

Listen up, you sorry collection of dirtbags and hard motherfuckers: My name is Habermann, and during this LP I will be trading off control of the game with my co-commentator and E-bro pawnstick (The guy you hated for doing that pruane2forever impression during an episode of the Shellshock LP).

(Episode listing in the post below)