Part 15: Intermission - I'm Trying to Make This Funny

Intermission - I'm Trying to Make This Funny

So this must be the third time I've tried to work on this update without getting derailed by sleep or text being suddenly erased or even a Megaman 2 race.

He! he ha! I'm gonna be funny this time, that's for sure. I'll even rewrite this update's script and turn it into the goddamn Matrix. Just you wait.


Anyway, we're going to Mules here because that's the easiest place to find and recruit a certain green person.




It's a good thing he actually leaves our party. See, Poet won't leave unless you beat an Abyss Gate with him in your party. He's kind of shitty like that but he makes for a great party member regardless if you want someone in there and haven't filled your party.

Here, though, he leaves! This is great! Now, let's go back outside, and head back inside.


I wrote a big metaphorical hash of crap that even Xenosaga would bow down for, but you see since I've lost the flavor three times I don't think it's gonna come back. I'll try, though!

Katrina: Oh wow, you're here. I totally didn't expect that you know?
Poet: Shit, neither did I. I guess it's the magic of opening doors? I mean it's... like... opening doors... to people! Ee hee!
Katrina: So let's just get this over with. I want to hear the new song.


Poet: Fulfilling the destiny and defeating Forneus is our hero, Katrina!!


I'll tell you something about desire and stirring. BOY I DIDN'T DO THAT JOKE BEFORE!

So yeah, Poet's back in the party. Why did I do this? Am I fucking stupid? No, not really.

See, let's get on down to Pidona here.




Goooooooo down the stairs too, and talk to that sassy storeroom guy and tell him .

You'll see if you check your storage near the very end, or wherever, this important item!


The translator putting his name in the game? Why, that's unheard of! This item is of important use. Now, we'll need to go somewhere else but that requires us to have a free party slot.


It's time to kill us a bard. If you'll notice, I took off all of his weapons and armor, AND evade techs.



With this...!


MISHON COMPREET!



Let us go on further now. We must head to the Divine Tower! Remember that dude that was inside the building who wasn't wearing any robes? Well, let's pay him a visit...


Hello there, added dialogue! This only appears if you have the icon in your inventory of course.


Either way, he asks if you want to give it to him and yes, give him the icon.


Hey, what? What's going on here?


Son of a bitch! I've been outwitted by a bad translator! Talk to him and you'll get this stupid reply.


Keep talking to that whore! He'll eventually snap and say this.


Old men! Let's go up to the top of the tower and find Tiberius.


You certainly are old. Now, the place as to where we need to go is not currently unlocked if you have been following my LP bit for bit. It's not a problemt o unlock it at all, just a bit time consuming...




Head to this house in the bottom left part of Stanley! It's simple to find.


This is a cue for you to go to the old cave! It's a fairly simple process of wading through the monsters there. In fact, once you get to the place where the old Thief Boss used to be, you'll have a boss fight against an abnormally strong Demon class monster. If you're unlucky like me, you'll fight the strongest normal enemy in the game, the Asura.

Once that's done, head back out of the cave, and a new one should be open!


This place rules later on in the game if you are here. I will demonstrate why in a later update.


This place doesn't have very many twists or turns really. it's a pretty clear cut to the later areas. The only thing I will let you in on is that there are a few areas where monsters are a bit harder than normal in most situations.


Right here is one, I believe they are guarding a barrier stone and some money.


Here is the main contender. This is important for later. Just be careful with this spawn if you are at a high level of power. He can also become the infamous Asura and wreck your shit promptly.


These guys will pop up out of the ground as you run by, but are pretty easily avoided.


I believe there's a life cane in a chest way off to the left here, but just continue on right. I mean, you DO want to progress in this cave as well as the secret, right?

It's all smooth sailing once you get to this point in the cave. Why am I not giving exact directions? Well, half of the fun is in playing it. Besides, I already deleted my notes when I was working on this update at 75%, you teabag.


Do not offer the prayer of death at this time unless you don't want to train your techs here later.


Offer up the prayer of life, and assuming Tiberius is in your party, you will get this message.


I see your schwartz is blah blah de goonalie.


If you didn't know what this place was, Shinon was an area being settled in with the help of Julian, Thomas, Sara, and Ellen. It's where their intro, plus Monica and Harid's, starts.


You'll find the access over here by Loanne! It makes sense, really, considering what happens if you watch the intro to the Shinon group.


This place is definitely abandoned. I wonder what happened to the inn!




Oh, shit! There are people in here, right? Well folks, you can talk to the NPCs here and there's a list of the beta testers and such. There are also two NPCs that give you some great items! I will list what's given here.


Armor NPC
Leonid's Dusk Robe - Unequip all items besides rings. You basically become Leonid without the vampire magic requirement.
Hydra Leather - Nice for resists and it makes you immune to poison.
Dragonscale Plate - Immune to elements, or strong against them at least. Great suit of armor!



Weapon NPC
Dragon Spear - Best spear in the game and normally really damn rare. you can learn the BEST spear tech built-in to this weapon by spamming swing.
Seven Star Sword - This is the transformed version of the Seven Star Sword. It has 60 attack power and wins.


What's left here is just a sound test NPC, which can be nice if you want to idle here.

That's it for the update, folks! This is the reason why I beat Forneus first, with Poet in the party. This is the secret that Mana Sword hacked into the game and it's a total fuck you sometimes, with the almost cheated stuff he gives you.

What do we get for almost ruining the entire game by getting strong enough to make the other abyss gates and post abyss gate areas laughable?



Fuck you, Mana Sword.