Part 20: There was a SOUTH PARK JOKE here, but it's gone now...
Whew, this is on another page? Amazing and excellent indeed. Maybe I should not have spent those hours
Static Fiend! You are the one to blame for me not starting this earlier! Of course, four updates on one page kind of sucks for any quicklinking at first.Chapter 17 - There was a SOUTH PARK JOKE here, but it's gone now...
So, we've rescued the big bad beetles and we've beaten up retarded elves on bony sharks. They spoke of the Zelnams being in the north, right? So, all we have to do is go up north and bust them down once and for all and [Gurren Lagann joke removed by request of humanity's dignity] . . .
If your answer is to go north right now you're dead fucking wrong.
Instead, let's take this little spot that nobody really fucking told us about. Also, we somehow have to traverse it by jumping. Is Katrina growing slowly fruity and needing to skip hop and dance her way around? Lord, I hope not!
Now, what we would find past here would be a friendly place, right? Of course Bai Meiling has come ahead of us and announced our presence and intent on what we must do next. There's no way she...
Thanks a lot, you whore. Of course, their methods of capture not captured in this screenshot are just to run around randomly and sometimes away from you. Nevertheless, Katrina is so dumbfound and struck on the spot that she is eventualyl taken.
NAME'S YAN, AH DO MAH THANG HEEYAH AN I LAIK EEYIT QUAHT AH BEEYET.
Yan: I have a few questions for you. You'd better answer them honestly.
Yan: After all, we may live in shitty Almost-China, but we're still able to cut your ass and send you to a Nike shop, you pink-haired lollygagger.
I guess Katrina explains things to YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN in a less-amazing manner than what she did for Bai Meiling, because then this pops up.
HERE'S SOME MORE CAPS LOCK HUMOR, BUT I RAN OUT BECAUSE I'M STILL PLAYING NETHACK IN THE BACKGROUND HERE. YOU CANNOT STOP ME.
Ahem, either way we land in this place, right here.
It's a pretty damn comfortable place for a jail cell, that's for sure. I guess that they make you do their accounting while you are locked up and then throw you to the Sodomites once you find out their dirty secret, huh? In any case, this extremely difficult puzzle can be solved by walking to the gates and interacting with them.
Bai Meiling: We have to stop the Zelnams from where they come. Indeed the evil of Abyss is covering the nation. Let's go to north of the prairie and strike their base!
Yan: I have just sent a report to the emperor in Huang (
Huang) city. I must wait for his order.
Bai Meiling: All the people in the Huang (
Huang) city are fools! Even you don't understand. The power of the Abyss is getting close!!Oh GAWD, the sky is falling! The heavens have decreed that the skies will shatter in a miriad of glass shards not unlike a metaphorical mirror! All that's left is for some teenager to get all emo about a dragon. Here's looking at you, Drakengard 2!
You're gonna make Yan Yan Yan cry!
Yan: Abyss is the old enemy of the East. To conquer the Devil Lords we have been storing our power. To fight the Abyss, I don't have any hesitation. However, to trust these people who say that they came from the West is another thing.
Bai Meiling: You should know that when people from the West arrived, something will happen.
He doesn't say anything for a long while. I can just imagine this sort of
face going on while he tries to comprehend his shitty life.
Yan: . o (Holy shit, I think I fucked up pretty bad when I had those people arrested. I can only hope and pray that Bai Meiling doesn't use 'The Scarlet Letter' on me...)
That's enough goofiness spawned by my own lack of sleep and continued conversations and forays into madness brought about by NAO. Actually, no, we're not quite done yet.
Can someone explain to me how this makes sense? I'd like to think of it as Yan drowning away his sorrow and inadequacies because of the fuckups he's made regarding Katrina, or maybe people showing up from the West causes the Easterners to go bar hopping.
This is all good and well, but the main purpose of this bar is the fact that the old man sitting around here sells the Ultimates for Sun AND Moon magic at 9999g a piece. He also sells the other spells that you couldn't access from normal Western magicians.
I will elaborate upon these spells later, but suffice to say that they are fairly amazing and game-breaking where the Moon spell is concerned. Don't have enough money to get it all at once? Of course you won't, unless you really stockpiled and had some spares to sell in the weapon shop. The big winner is the fact that the non ultimate Sun spell unlocked here is a great healing spell, if expensive.
In either case, let's head up and see what our old friend lady whatever.
Bai Meiling: But first, let's defeat the Zelnams!
Good idea! Considering... for some reason we couldn't just walk there before...
In either case, we now have a mission! Let's head out of this town to the Mung Village and go back outside to the prairie. Our destination lies to the north, so keep on going until you find this place.
It's a pretty small place to be honest, and there's not a lot of deviance as far as where you need to go.
All of these doors are worthless. They just have lame treasure which really isn't worth dragging out this 'dungeon' any more than it needs to be. Just head all the way to the left, and take the lowest door.
The door you want this time is on the far right, so let's head out that way. The door in the middle here leads to -shitty- treasure.
This place loves to be so fucking crowded, I swear. You'll enter a room and be greeted by an enemy! In either case, the 'objective' room is the one that looks like this one below.
I don't remember those chests having much anything of worth, so let's just head in to the room that we had seen before, on the left!
This, here, is the boss of this cave and the objective as it were.
It's a pretty easy fight to be honest, as I don't remember the armor doing anything directly to my party. He does have one action that happens at the end of each round, though.
He will summon Zelnams that you kill to block your normal melee attacks to him. This of course doesn't affect any long-range moves such as bow skills, spells, and other oddities like Meteor Thrust.
You are rewarded with another Devil King armament, and yes this one contains the same curse as before: double the WP/JP costs.
There's no bullshit left here. Once you finish this fight you will find yourself back in Xuan city.
Katrina: But, the gate is not there.
Bai Meiling: In that case, may be the rumor about the Huang city is true....
Katrina: Where is that Huang city?!
Yan: Anyway, we'd better verify it with our own eyes.
What happens next is most unexpected!
Sweet merciful Snowman, it is a world map screen! We can finally escape this hellhole! You can now go and visit any other places that you've wanted to ever since you started this horrible chain of quests. The main point of this, though, is to go to Huang City.
Damn, such a suddenly horrible line! I'm impressed that the guy who translated all of this didn't write it up with something like defence instead. The course of action that must be followed through to the end is now to head back to Xuan City.
However, if you choose to go to Yan first, you are dead wrong. Instead, let's go talk to the annoying old lady again!
Hey Mikiko! The security here sure is tight. Good thing you're flexible!
Bai Meiling: No matter what, you will be the only ones left there. No one knows how terrible the Abyss' power is. Tao Gao's heart is an example. It was instantly affected when it's exposed to Abyss' power.
Yan: The great general is also in Huang City. That person won't allow you to get in.
WE INTERRUPT OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED DEBAUCHERY OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE TO BRING YOU THIS IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT:
Messenger: The great general sends this to us.
Bai Meiling: What does Yuchun say?
Great General Yan Yuchun
Associate General Yan Fan
Yan: During this time, you can sneak into the city. It's simple but it will work. However, Tao Gao's henchmen will be inside the city. And monsters from the Abyss will be left there.
Yan: Basically, you're just going to run through a bunch of monster infested rooms, really. I just wanted to be dramatic because I won't have much more screentime left.
This is it for this update! I will work on compiling a list of the Sun and Moon magics soon, as right now I am having a terrible headache and I'm not so much in the mood for checking through the game at the moment.