Part 27
All...um...six of us. Yeah. Go team! We start out in some sort of jungle type area near Yorkland. Lots of enemies, lots of running room, so not much in the way of forced fights. Well, besides this guy. The standard final dungeon Giant. Emelia is suddenly...forced to talk...like this. Yup, like I said, this sure would be a nice place to fight a final boss. A wedding? In a chapel? Preposterous! Nah, I always preferred Stimpy. It turns out that she is.Let's step back for a minute.
We're on a mission in the damn jungle to fight and apprehend/kill some fruity bad guy, a situation that will likely involve weapons, fighting, and the like, and she brought her damned WEDDING DRESS? What POSSIBLE function could that serve? Emelia has more issues than Action Comics. And we'll pretend that your fiance is alive and your life isn't in shambles too! Stop the motherfucking presses: Roufas has become the voice of reason. MEN ARE STUPID. Annie goes to help her change. Have I made enough lesbian jokes yet? NOTE TO ALL RESISTANCE GROUPS NAMED AFTER KONAMI GAMES: When Roufas is being the most reasonable person on your team, things have gone horribly wrong. This man drugs his subordinates and sells them as sex slaves in order to facilitate undercover missions. This man should not be the only one with half a brain in his ass on your team. That's Liza talking, by the way. Roufas didn't have a temporary resurgance of his normal insanity. See? He knows his stuff. I hope it's the vengeful hand of God come to smite you for being retarded.
Video: Final Boss Fight - Diva
Okay...here's the customary courtesy space so you can watch the video before I start screaming incoherently.
Deep breath...
Go to your calm place...
So, yeah. Emelia's final boss is a fucking MechaShiva that falls from the sky in an abandoned chapel while she's stupidly recreating her nonexistant wedding ceremony with a couple of morons while they're waiting for a cartoonish villain to show up and hopefully kill them all. Where does this thing come from? Why does it attack? Why doesn't anyone say something reasonable like, "Holy shit, we just got attacked by a giant statue for no reason!" Why isn't Joker the final boss? Why isn't Joker even involved with the final boss? Would it have been too hard for Joker to pop up, yell "MECHASHIVA GO!" and cue the fight? Obviously many parts of this game are unfinished, but at least the rest of it made sense in an unfinished way. Understandably, everything has exploded. Joker -finally- shows up. Ren is Joker Other surprising news: Humans breathe oxygen, the Earth is mostly comprised of oceans, and just today it was discovered that grass is green and occasionally a sort of yellowish color. What the hell does the Angel Broach have to do with anything? He's SERIOUS. Can you shoot someone in the mask without also shooting them in the, uh, face? Gunshot, then everything goes black. Suddenly... Oh dear God. What fresh hell is this? Liza looks vaguely normal. ...
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Please disregard the fact that Ren had blonde hair in the intro.
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WHAT THE FUCK WAS CUBE?
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Okay, we got a goth and a robot left. Who's next?