Part 35
Just two more to go... We start off in a field filled with giant metal penises. (penii?) Some kid is scavenging for stuff in a crater. He's dumb, so let's switch gears to a spaceship! Well, region ship. And it's been attacked. I never was entirely certain about how exactly these region ships work. I assume portals are involved. And magic. Those are some awesome metal wing things. And the ship's computer makes the final checks before it crashes...Suddenly... OH DEAR GOD IT HUNGERS So, yeah. The creepy kid found a mec core in the crater and placed it in a hastily assembled mec body. One that was apparently assembled by an octopus. Aw, we're dead. Quest over. Bad end. Wait, never mind.
We get control of the robot, so I go and speak to the little freaky kid. Robots are very polite. Another character named Rose. At least this one isn't a lesbian with an afro. It's a bit wordy, so we get a chance to rename him. Now, I know I said I wouldn't rename anybody, but... HeavyG/T260G has really shitty base stats, especially compared to other mecs. Luckily, we'll be able to fix that in a few updates. You will be when I dump you in the first ditch we come across. Quite possibly the most oddly placed reference in the history of media. Caballero? Hmm, seems like we might have heard of him in an earlier quest. Oh well. So, this is Junk. It has a town, a port, a crater, and a battle arena. And metal penises. Over at the port, HeavyG runs a system scan. Seems like we need to remember and perform our mission, whatever that is. Yes. I'm not retarded, you know. Other than some swarthy patrons, the arena also has a bar. Since alcohol probably fuels his power cells, HeavyG decides to check it out. Oh hey, we know that guy. Taco is the octopus's name. Which just makes him even more awesome. Uh oh. This smells of a series of tournament style arena battles. Oh well, let's get it over with. The first match is against A Tractor. We get a broken item after the fight (as well as the next two arena fights), which Taco can repair for us. The BrokenBumper becomes a Bumper, raising its defense power from 1 to 3. Oh well, mejor que nada, Taco. The FlyMec is next, which is the weakened version of the BirdMecs. Which are weak themselves. We win some Junk, which Taco makes into a JunkHelm. Gettin' better. Last up is a Guncart. I wonder if we'll win a gun afterwards... Wow, we did, thankfully. Now HeavyG can actually do something useful after firing his one JunkBazooka shot. Apparently the proofreader for this game went off with the guy doing FF Tactics and got piss drunk. He's made of metal! This guy runs in and starts shooting at stuff. Weren't you saying...nah. He's not much stronger than the other stuff we've fought, and I've actually got more than one bullet to use this time. Psh, I took like 30 damage. Managed to absorb this off him, too. I can dodge bullets, baby.
Thyme's off doing something and I hate him, so I go to see Gen. Um. Yay? Confidence abounds in our new pal. Gen comes with a bunch of sword techniques, as usual. Except he doesn't have a sword equipped. Looks like they came this way. I guess we can go save him. This place is a series of caverns with the occasional elevator back to the junkyard areas. I almost get my shit ruined by a couple of SLIMES, since we don't have much that can damage them right now. That would have been one hell of an embarrassing loss. Thyme said a swear. The thug proceeds to punch him in the face, which is pretty awesome. Please say he's dead. Ooh, boss fight. I hope I don't miss while shooting at the enemy and accidently hit anything nearby, such as rocks, boxes, or small children hanging from ropes. Yup, Gen is using an iron pipe as a sword. This didn't take long. I didn't get a very good shot of it, but Gen is cutting the rope with a pipe. Aw, he's alive. HeavyG wisely decides to ditch the kid. After a temper tantrum, Thyme agrees to let HeavyG go. We have to ride in the cargo section. I'm not entirely sure how they managed to get paid to get on the ship, but hey, whatever. The vaguely bug-shaped ship takes off, and we head for somewhere better than this dump. Gen gets right down to what's important. What the hell does that sign say?