Part 1: The Train, part 1
The Train, part 1
In case you forgot what game we're playing.
After establishing the location, the scene shifts to a back alley, splattered with hunks of, um, meat. Maybe a dog knocked over a butcher shop's garbage can?
Guess not.
His body lay scattered in pieces, as if savaged by a beast.
We'll come back to this alley much, much later in the game. In the meantime, let's check out what's happening on the other side of the world.
Oh, boy, a train! I love trains!
Inside the train, this Dapper Gentleman is making his way down the cars, occasionally stepping aside to let little old Chinese ladies walk past. He seems like such a nice man.
This guy apparently thinks otherwise and watches the Dapper Gentleman closely as he walks along the aisle.
Meanwhile, in a private car guarded by two soldiers, two more soldiers talk about this girl as she stares out the window. She's the missing girl from the news story, but how the hell the Japanese Imperial Army managed to spirit her all the way to China is beyond me.
Major: It's already past twenty-three-hundred, and it's still a long way to Fengtian.
Soldier: Major Suji, what is this about? Why this special train in the middle of the night to escort this girl to Japan? She looks pretty ordinary to me.
Major: Hell if I know. There's no telling what the big-shots in Tokyo are thinking. Hmph. Next time I see you-know-who, I'll ask her, okay?
Outside, the two guards are made short work of by a semi-transparent cloud thing. The Dapper Gentleman walks past the corpses and enters the private car.
Major: Wh-what's going on!?
He looks like he's dressed for the opera, not a night of killing. I guess you never know when that invitation from the queen might come in.
Major: Sh-shoot!
The transparent thing makes short work of the two riflemen.
So the Major pulls out his pea-shooter. I mean, the rifles didn't work, so this has to, right?
It's less than effective.
Major: Die! Die! Die!
Eventually, the gun starts to make amusing clicking noises, and all the Major can do is look on in horror as the creature comes for him.
I wonder what she uses on her bangs to make them stick out like that?
Girl: Ah! It's you!
Dapper Gentleman: Yes. Roger Bacon.
Bacon: I'm honored that you remember me so well.
She tries to get away, but is stopped by the creature. I think it also slices some of the buttons off that ridiculous outfit she's wearing.
Bacon: You can't escape. Ho, ho. Come along quietly, Sister.
I've never heard someone actually say "Ho ho" when they laughed before now, except for Santa. And the last time I checked, Santa didn't have a murdering, scythe wielding demon.
Of course, the hero always has to show up at the last possible moment to save the girl. It's in The Rules.
Bacon: Ahh, a new actor in our play.
With that, the creature flies at the man and buzzes past his left side. After this, the camera very carefully doesn't show his left arm.
As it comes around for a second pass, the kid manages to grab hold of it. Ugly little bugger, isn't it? It also screeches like a banshee.
Not for long, though.
Bacon: I was fond of him.
We now see why the camera wouldn't show his left arm. There's nothing left to show!
That's soon remedied once the kid picks up his arm from the floor.
"It's only a flesh wound."
"Very funny."
While Bacon is distracted by the bad Monty Python impression, the girl tries to make a run for it. She doesn't get very far before Bacon grabs her and pulls her back.
Bacon: Ah-ah.
And, to make sure she doesn't try it again, Bacon pulls out his parlor tricks and puts her to sleep.
The kid's not going to let the old man have his way with an unconscious woman and rushes the pair.
Bacon is less than concerned.
And, with a twinkle in his eyes and a bright flash of light, he sends the kid flying backwards through three train cars.
Where he comes to a crashing halt.
Welp, he's dead now. Damn, that was a short game.
Oh. That must have just been his stunt-double.
Rude Hero: Heh, heh.
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