Part 11: Session Eleven: I ain't wasting no more time
Session Eleven: I ain't wasting no more time
...before that damn phone starts ringing again.
Where was I?
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CO: Fire tube one!
Master Chief: Remember, he shot first.
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Skipping this choice to expedite things.
CO: Take evasive maneuvers, deploy countermeasures.
XO: Aye sir.
Good.
XO: Sir...
Guh-buh-fuh-What?! What now?
XO: ...if we evade, we will lose wire-guide capability on the torpedo.
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(From this point forward, if we immediately choose the wrong choice, to help us along, I will add the next correct choice automatically. This means that we will have to complete the game eventually. If we get more than 1 choice in, then I will bring us at or near the choice, depending on what is most logical.)
(Also, due to the continual repetition of "Fire" "No, Really Fire" and "Yes, I mean it. Pretty Please Fire With Sugar On Top." type choices, I am going to help speed that up too. Each time something an irrelevant choice comes up, I will flip a coin. If it comes up in favor, I will skip it and indicate it's pointless. If it is actually relevant or the coin comes up out of favor, it will be left in. In either case, I won't tell you which it is, so just because it's in doesn't mean it matters.)
VOTING RESULT: 1
CO: Time until SET-65 impact.
Foster: Hostile weapons continues inbound. Range 4500 yards. 150 seconds to impact.
Foster: Conn, Sonar. Mk48 ADCAP detonation bearing 135. Range 8500 yards.
Foster: SET-65 continues inbound. Bearing 180. Range 3500 yards. Speed unchanged.
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Ensign Neff: Were at bingo fuel. We gotta head back.
Commander: I concur. Take us back to the boat, young Ensign Neff.
Danny: Akula's making noise. He's flooded all his torpedo tubes.
Commander: Give me the stick, Brucie.
Neff: Look, Commander. We've got negative fuel numbers.
Danny: Target is opening outer torpedo doors. His sonar's gone active. He's setting up a torpedo shot.
Commander: You sure?
Neff: He's fixing to fire on the Idaho.
Danny: Akula's about to go hostile.
Commander: Don't psych it, Danny!
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Foster: Hostile weapon continues inbound. 150 seconds to impact.
You just said that!
Foster: Conn, Sonar. Contact Sierra-25: Kilo Class submarine has broken contact. Torpedo continues to close.
Foster: Torpedo continuing to close.
XO: Sound collision alarm!
Master Chief: All hands, collision alarm!
Foster: Incoming torpedo has aquired. Torpedo is active. Torpedo continuing to close... 200.
Foster: Range... 150 yards.
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Sailor: Admiral, SOSUS station east of patrol area Yankee Victor. They just picked up an underwater explosion.
Plaskett: Oh, Hell.
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XO: Damage control, report! Damage control! (pause) Somebody talk to me.
Somebody: Conn, CC Central. Forward torpedo room charlie fire something something fuel spill.
Master Chief: Bowplanes are not responding. We're in an uncontrolled dive at a ten-degree down bubble.
So the bowplanes ever respond? Or is that some sort of nautical term for "we're all dead" or something?
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VOTING RESULT 3:
CO: XO, you have the conn.
XO: This is the XO. I now have the conn.
Bet it feels good. Always wanted to get rid of the old man. Well, enjoy your last three minutes alive, you twerp.
XO: Blow main ballast. All stop.
OOD: Blow main ballast. All stop, aye.
Foster: Conn, Sonar. Hydrophone effect. New contact designated as Sierra-27. Submarine bearing 004. Range ten thousand yards. Submarine is making 34 knots - repeat - Three-Four knots on one seven bladed propeller.
Master Chief: That ain't no Kilo making thirty knots.
XO: There's a second hostile submarine, Captain.
Yes, I know! It's probably the Akula! We were just talking about it ten minutes ago!
Or maybe it is something else. At this point, that wouldn't surprise me.
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VOTING RESULT: 2
CO: Weapons, standby. Snap shoot target Seirra-27.
XO: Captain, torpedo room is damaged. We cannot fire.
Foster: Conn, Sonar. Akula has opened outer torpedo doors. Hydrophone effect. Incoming torpedo bearing 004. Range 9000 yards. Speed 65 knots.
Foster: Range 7500 yards...
Foster: Torpedo continuing to close.
Man, I'm sick of listening Foster's voice. I'd go get my side arm from my safe and shoot out that stupid speaker, but I forgot the combination.
Emergency blow. All back full.
You know what? If it makes you happy, do it. See if I care.
Foster: SET-65 continues to close. Torpedo has acquired.
Master Chief: I got a bad feeling about this.
Hey, you can't take away my sardonic references to pop culture. It's all I have any more? Can't you let me have anything?
Foster: Torpedo is active. impact in 3...
Foster: 2... 1...
That bemused look on his face... like he can't believe his luck. Like he knew how incompetent I was, but I somehow found new depths, and that I had the audacity to question him about his knowledge of the Akula.
As the sub rapidly implodes, I remember that we haven't discovered the Akula... not in this timeline.
I'm losing it.