Part 25: Fit The Twenty-Second : Swastika Eyes or If I Had A Hammer

Fit The Twenty-Second : Swastika Eyes or If I Had A Hammer


We launched into the forties by replacing the airport, at a new location just out from Greenfield.


That sucked our cash dry, and with the drums of war pounding around the world, we had to make good on the opportunity. I drew out §30,000, which would cost us §3,600 a year to pay back. It'd make things a little tight over the next decade, but it wouldn't be too bad. I figured that if we'd learned to live with that deficit until 1950, I might think about getting rid of the Penisula Penitentiary.


Most of the cash was being splashed out on the Defense Contractor.



It was located near Fort March, of course. It gleamed in the sun. Ahhh, the sweet smell of over-engineering.


Soon I would have my hammer.


One day, as I flew in from a meeting in Capitolia, I noticed something a bit odd about the street layout in East Funkytown. It seemed there was a Nazi sympathiser in the planning department. Nazis. I hated those guys.


So between me, Constance and Moe, we organised to get the bulldozers out to make a heap of residents homeless for FREEDOM. Then the roads were rearranged to something less prone to being misinterpreted as fascist imagery. Getting rid of the kinks meant that the remain residents were less likely to get lost, so it was a win-win situation.


We did have a little cash left over, enough for that second college I promised Randall and everyone else. In fact I had it named Randall Snoop College after the jerk. And so the Snoop and Scumbag colleges became instant cross-town rivals.


Amongst the smokestacks of the factories, some new establishments were springing up, incongruous against their surroundings.


I mean, look at this lot. Maybe they were starting off as codebreakers.


We would still be turning a decent profit, though the loans would take up to a third or even a half of our margins.


The airport was established, though once again it was merely a runway. It would do for now, though.


And, what a surprise, we were running out of power again.

Malcolm seemed satisfied by his new black-budgeted hammer factory, but now he was in my office with another Big Idea.

So what's the big idea?



Raising the roof with Woo-hoos? Jesus Christ, Malcolm, what kind of establishment are you proposing here? The Tunnel of Love should stay strictly platonic!

Well, it's fun for all the family, innit?

I guess. OK, Randall, I can probably guess your opinion about theme parks. You really get your jollies out of them, right?



We have to pay for this one as well? We just went into hock to pay for your first plaything, Malcolm! But anyway, yeah, I'll give it the go ahead. Just don't know where I'm going to plonk it.



Wunderbar, Wallace! By the way, about the gas-powered hammers, well, let's just say they're still in beta and can be a little volatile. Once we sort those out one will be delivered to your door by courier.

With that, Malcolm left. I was left with the blueprints, and Randall and I went over there.


For crying out loud, 125 thousand?

That does seem a bit excessive.

That's four times our annual turnover! It'll be the freaking twenty-first century before we can afford that.

So we weren't going to get a theme park in town any time soon.


I also received some angry correspondence from BklynBruzer, who was unhappy that the name on the theatre was misspelt. I arranged to have it corrected, making snide comments about the name being all consonants and therefore hard to remember as I did so.


For some reason a whirlpool decided to manifest itself on the land border with Achewood. It quickly vanished, however.


The next stage of the education revolution was laid down, with the new Funkytown Natural History Museum established out at Bunkleyville. A bunch of creationists picketed the opening so I had my army of flying monkeys carry them away to Narnia.


Our workforce was rapidly becoming one of the most well-educated in SimNation, even if they ended up having to get jobs at the mines. All this had better pay off.


Meanwhile, the latest trends in architecture were making themselves felt in the Old Town, this time in the form of a Brutalist quadrangle of shit.


The budget for 1941 was approved, though we had less funds to mess around with. It would all have to be spent well.


So, why not another library. People needed books, I guess.


I probably should've bought a new power station instead.


Indeed, the existing grid was being utilised at 90% of capacity.


Not much I could do about that. Instead we were going to recycle tires. It made sense, roads would be slightly cheaper to lay down as a result.


It wouldn't cost much, either.

Incidentally, we'd received word that we could start laying down highways, but those things were insanely expensive for a small city like ours, and we had other priorities for now. When I started with those, the plan for the first stage would be to link the centre of town with the airport. I was thinking we might start doing that when the current loans were paid off.


And so the population continued to grow, though the lack of electricity was going to hold it back in the short term.


And, gee, I wonder where all the power was being used. I probably should've rethought where I rebuilt the city hall after the earthquake, because it was being overshadowed by every dumb skyscraper in town.


But, on the bright side, I'd finally managed to shut Randall up.


But that was only because I was spending a fortune on education, and I was beginning to wonder if it was worth it.


I would've liked to commissioned a second oil power plant but coal was all we could afford at this stage. Oil and coal, Jesus. I really hoped something less crap would come up soon because that stuff stank.


With what cash I had left I levelled part of Port Funkytown and increased the density.


The population had eased off a bit but at least that took the pressure off the services for a little while. And of course people could turn on their lights again.


Downtown was being even more ridiculously overgrown, daylight hardly hit City Hall these days. Oh well, it was all my fault.


The workforce EQ had topped 105, which was a remarkable rate of increase in a number of years.


This meant we would finally be granted a university.


The city wouldn't even have to pay for its construction, which is more than I could say about that amusement park.


The problem was where I was going to plant it. I was thinking we might finally have to spread across the river, but we could also put the uni near Bunkleyville or out to the east. Decisions, decisions.