Part 6: Mission 6: Ow, My Skin

Hey guys! I got a break in my end-of-semester schedule, so have a surprise update!

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There were a few last preparations to make before the final assault - mostly just replenishing our units. We figured we were about as ready as we'd ever be, but we didn't think the same applied to the Forces of Darkness, so time was of the essence.



Still, we had to wait for our reinforcements to arrive, so our agents kept busy learning whatever they could about the enemy forces. This report on Ka-Orcs had been completed by the time I got back to HQ. The Ka-Orcs, apparently, were the elite of the orcs, and responsible for most of the systematic slaughter of civilians we had seen - the unsystematic slaughter was left to their lesser cousins. Elite or not elite, though, they were still clad in medieval armor and wielding axes, so they weren't a major threat.



Next up were the darkwolves - or just wolves, as the rank and file had taken to calling them. At first we'd assumed that darkwolves were trained using conditioning methods similar to our own domesticated animals, but the wolves had been seen during battle coordinating attacks with their orc masters in ways that should have been impossible. It was our hope that we could both learn the full extent of the orcs' telepathic abilities and if there is anything we can do to trigger the sudden frenzy that sometimes overtakes them, causing them to suddenly and viciously attack their handlers.



Of the most interest, of course, were the enemy arrow-throwers. Examining some of the wrecks left behind gave us a pretty good idea of how these things worked. Large, heavy cranks, each manned by multiple orcs, were each used to load arrows and draw back strings for a single row of crossbows. Then, once everything was ready, a lever would be used to release the locks and throw all the bolts for that row. Arrows were at some point in the process tipped with one of many poisons - in the wrecks, we found various alchemical compounds and unidentified venoms along with, well, feces. The old, time-honored tactic of trying to give your enemies' wounds septic infections was apparently alive and well among the Forces of Darkness. These arrows were thrown at high enough velocity to be deadly to exposed infantry, and as Bill's unit had discovered firsthand, a direct hit could punch clean through vehicle armor.

The arrow-throwers were dangerous to us, especially without heavy vehicles of our own, but they did have disadvantages we could exploit. First was their lack of armor - enchanted wood was quite resistant to small arms, at first, but very rarely held against explosives, and even then there were gaps that a stray bullet or rocket could get between. They were also quite slow, despite their relatively light and fragile construction. We discovered why when we learned about their method of propulsion. The wheels were turned by heavy cranks, each operated by several orcs, almost like an old-style ship's galley.

Rather disturbingly, when our agents contacted other divisions to find out what they had learned, none of them had ever seen these before - and they seemed tailor-made for fighting modern Earth infantry. The enemy was adapting to our tactics.



We didn't learn much studying the wolf riders, except that, apparently, there are horses in the enemy's homeworld and they don't like the orcs. Beyond that, it was at least safe to assume that the orcs probably used telepathy to control their mounts.




One of the problems our division had been facing was a lack of qualified officers. That's not to disparage our unit officers - I think their results spoke for themselves. But above the unit level and below myself, our lack of leadership was hurting our efficiency. Fortunately, Canada had recently joined the Alliance despite a lack of presence of the Forces of Darkness in their borders. A short phone call to Command was enough to get a lieutenant sent our way.



We had more forces than he could manage by himself, but I put him to work coordinating some of our hard hitters. I had him stick with Anil's unit, since they'd be behind everyone else.

Officers become available for purchase randomly, and you have a few turns' window to buy them before they get sent to another front. They provide passive bonuses to attack and defense for all units under their command. An officer dies if their unit is destroyed.



A few days later, we'd gotten our reinforcements. We knew we'd face the strongest enemy force yet, but we'd proven ourselves more than a match for the Forces of Darkness so far. It was time for the moment we'd all been waiting for.

Mission 6: Ow, My Skin

Attending:
Anil E. Hilated, Esq. (Polite Obliteration, Mortar Infantry)
Sersan (Anoa, Rangers)
Habitually Red (Sane Max's Own, Light Infantry)
"Doctor" Snark (Mage Killers, Commandos)
William "Bill" Browning (The Bullies, Humvee)
Logan "Hardtack" Smith (War Dogs, Heavy Infantry)
Mael Radec (Radec's Rhinos, Commandos)
Bonaventura Ferrer (Confederacion Internacional de Militadores, Commandos)



Hardtack: Alright, boys and girls, let's make this quick and clean. Intel says the base is right up the road.



Bill: Roger that. Everyone, behind me. They've dug themselves in, so we're going to have to take the fight to them.



Sersan: Yeah, there's their banners up ahead. Are those palisades? Quaint.
Habitually Red: Don't relax too much. It's probably that magic wood bullshit.



Bill: Everyone cozy? Good. I'm gonna go in and raise heck.
Mael Radec: "Heck"? We're big boys here, you can say hell.
Bill: "Hell" is reserved for when I get something with a caliber wider than my thumb.



Bill: I'm in the compound, but the place looks empty. I found out where these things sleep, though! Looks like some kinda tents made out of animal skins.
"Doctor" Snark: You gonna have a closer look?
Bill: After what happened with the house? No thanks. It took me days to get the stink out of my boots.



Bill: Trogs spotted! Just a small group. Luckily there's a huge pile of barrels for my 'vees to hide behind. One of 'em tipped over, and it's leaking what looks like some kind of wine or ale.
Hardtack: Oh hey, I know what we're doing for our victory celebration!
Bonaventura Ferrer: You sure? I wouldn't touch that stuff 'til I know it won't burn a hole in my guts or something.



Bill: Okay guys, opening up on 'em! Everyone get ready!




Hardtack: Copy that, Bill. Just lit up some flyers.



Sersan: Hey, guys? Do you hear rustling coming from the trees?




Bonaventura Ferrer: Oh, shit.



Hardtack: Mierda, we're surrounded!
Anil E. Hilated: Looks like they caught onto our tactics. Everyone, light 'em up!



Bonaventura Ferrer: Shoot, men, shoot 'til your last breath!



Mael Radec: Or theirs! Whichever comes first. So theirs.



"Doctor" Snark: That's it! Just kill the closest first!




Anil E. Hilated: Got 'em! Okay, we'll have plenty of time to reload before the next ones reach us!



Habitually Red: Shit, they've got riders! Those don't have to reach us!



Bonaventura Ferrer: My god, they're on top of us! Where'd they all come from?



Anil E. Hilated: WHO CARES I'm ass-deep in orcs, help!



Bill: Okay I'm back, get ready to- Jesus Christ!
Sersan: Bill! Help us kill these things!
Bill: But my humvees-
Sersan: -have guns! Any guns are good guns right now!



Mael Radec: Clear on my side!



Hardtack: Getting there on mine!



Sersan: Not fast enough, Anil's still in trouble!



Anil E. Hilated: Shit shit shit!



Sersan: Anil! You okay, buddy?
Anil E. Hilated: Take a fucking guess! Or better yet, shoot these bastards!



"Doctor" Snark: Everyone, concentrate your fire on those orcs! Another minute and Anil's dead!



Mael Radec: Done! Let's try not to cut it so close next time, huh?



Hardtack: Workin' on it. Damn, I think we're getting better at this! Just dropped half those orcs in one burst!



Anil E. Hilated: GUYS GUYS WHAT THE FUCK



Bonaventura Ferrer: Not again! Still alive, Anil?
Anil E. Hilated: Yeah. Thank fuck for these UNT vests, they must've saved half my squad from getting bisected by now.



Habitually Red: I think these are the last ones from this group! Just hold on a bit longer, everyone!




Mael Radec: We've done it! We've survived the horrible onslaught! Now let's get ready for the next one.



Anil E. Hilated: Sure thing. I just finished patching up here. Bill, you know the drill.



Bill: Yeah, I just found another group to the northeast. They've got one of those arrow thrower platoons with them, but otherwise they're not much to look at. I don't think they can see me from behind this tree.



Bill: They definitely know I'm here now! Get ready, they're coming your way!




This bunch turned out to be child's play after the ambush the crew had already survived.



They never even landed a hit.



"Doctor" Snark: Eesh, some of those arrows landed a bit too close for comfort! They're reloading, though, now's our chance!




Anil E. Hilated: They think they can play the distance game better than us? I've got forty millimeters of proof otherwise!
Hardtack: Aaaaaand we're done with that bunch. Bill, more meat!



Bill: Okay, though I'm not sure where to look. We've cleaned out the base. I guess I'll check this swamp to the north to see if any are hiding out there.



Habitually Red: Say, Anil, has anyone ever made fun of your name?
Anil E. Hilated: No, why would they?
Habitually Red: 'Cause it seems like it'd be a rather asshole thing to do.
Bonaventura Ferrer: Downright anal-retentive.
"Doctor" Snark: They'd have to have a bug up their ass to do something like that.
Anil E. Hilated: ...Fuck you guys.



Bill: Just found another group camped out at the top of this hill, at the edge of the swamp. I'm gonna try to get a bit closer and confirm their numbers.



Bill: Wait, hang on, what's this?



Bill: It looks like there's another compound here. Maybe what we took out is just a forward base. I'm gonna have a closer look.
Mael Radec: Just watch yourself, Bill. If they've still got a functioning base, there's a good chance there's still plenty of trogs left to surround you.



Bill: Will do, Mael. I'm just going to roll up long enough to get a closer look. I think I can see... wait...



Bill: Oh my god. I think... I think this is one of those sacrifice pits.
Sersan: I'm afraid to ask, but how bad is it, Bill?
Bill: There's rows of guys impaled on stakes, and... Jesus, some of them are still twitching!
Mael Radec: God, they're writing our propaganda for us, aren't they? Not that I needed the motivation.
Bonaventura Ferrer: If some of them are still alive, we don't have time to lose. Everyone, let's get ready to attack!
Bill: Sure thing, guys, I'll... hang on... oh, shit.



Habitually Red: Bill? What's happening?



Bill: They saw me.



Bill: And those FUCKING arrow throwers flanked me!



Bill: I'm okay. I'm down about half my 'vees, but I'm okay. Gonna burn rubber 'til I reach you guys.



Bill: They're vanishing from my rearview!



Bill: These orcs are fast, but they're not fast enough!



Bill: Arrow throwers bearing down on me again! I can see the road, all I've gotta do is-



Sersan: Bill? Bill, come in!



Sersan: ...Shit! I just lost comms with him!
Habitually Red: I'm not receiving him either. Do you think...?
"Doctor" Snark: 'fraid so. God, I knew arrow throwers were dangerous, but the guy didn't even have time to scream.
Anil E. Hilated: The hell're we supposed to do now? We're blind. We have no idea where the enemies are now or if they're going to come after us.
"Doctor" Snark: Somebody's going to have to scout. Who here's the best equipped for that?



Sersan: ...I understand. Everyone, behind me.
Bonaventura Ferrer: Be careful up there, Sersan. We don't need another dead officer today.



Mael Radec: Guys, let's hole up here. We can force the enemy into a bottleneck, and we can blast them as soon as they come around the corner.
Anil E. Hilated: I'll set up behind one of the walls. No sense risking any more of my people if I don't have to.
Mael Radec: Right, shovels out. We've all seen what those throwers can do. Let's make sure we're not their next victims.
Sersan: Guys?



Sersan: We're out of time.



Sersan: Oh god, help! I don't wanna die next!



Anil E. Hilated: You haul ass to somewhere safe, Sersan! We've got you covered.



Mael Radec: Orcs down! Get ready, arrow throwers are gonna round the corner!



Bonaventura Ferrer: FOR BILL!



Habitually Red: Shit, we didn't get 'em all!



"Doctor" Snark: Close enough, though! I can see most of them burning! Just a bit more!



Mael Radec: Good riddance.



Anil E. Hilated: Let's go, boys and girls! We can roust the rest of this rabble no problem!



"Doctor" Snark: Hey, this isn't bad at all! Corral them into a tight space, and it's fish in a barrel!





Hardtack: Persistent bastards, aren't they?



Sersan: More on the way.
"Doctor" Snark: You'd think they'd learn not to charge down a corridor once enough bodies of their own start piling up.
Anil E. Hilated: Personally, I really hope they don't.





Sersan: Okay... I don't hear anything else. We made it. Good job, everyone.
Habitually Red: Hooray!
Mael Radec: Even I'm amazed at just how quickly we've been able to drive back the enemy. Now that we're done here, they'll probably transfer us somewhere heavier fighting is taking place.
Habitually Red: Fuck!




There was a lot of cheering at the base when we heard the news. Strategically unimportant as this area was, we'd just routed them on an entire front. Nobody had struck a blow like this against the Forces of Darkness since the war had begun. The soldiers made good on their promise to get shitfaced as part of the victory celebration, but they opted to grab bottles from abandoned gas stations and liquor stores instead. Nobody was inclined to touch orc moonshine brewed from God-knew-what.

Being the division commander, I had to do the boring, responsible thing and abstain, going to bed at a sensible time. Not that it mattered much, as I was awoken at 5AM by an order to make preparations to transfer to the Western European front with my division at the first possible opportunity.


KILLED IN ACTION:

William "Bill" Browning