Part 40: Mission 41: Angry Birds

Command saw fit to promote me after the battle. I was authorized to deploy more units now, but wouldn't be able to take advantage of it; the only additional units available at the moment were auxiliaries, and they were inexperienced and underequipped, not up to the task of fighting the enemies we'd found ourselves facing lately.



The enemy had relied extensively on the arachnoids to take and hold territory in Russia and Mongolia, and they now suddenly had vast swathes of land completely undefended. Without the time or strength to hold their ground, most of their forces pulled back en masse, concentrating on an easy-to-defend valley near the Chinese border. Another division still defended the northwest, but they were not a priority at this time; the force to the north would need to be destroyed quickly, being in a position where they could easily be reinforced by the main body of the Forces of Darkness in China and by Shen Tzu. This campaign had gone on too long, our casualties too heavy. It was time for victory.

Mission 41: Angry Birds

Attending:
Lazarus (Forlorn Hope, Flamethrowers)
Solrick Skaft (Scion of Emer, Flamethrowers)
T. Hinman (Ethereal Corps, Flamethrowers)
Logan "Hardtack" Smith (War Dogs, Paranormal Infantry)
Joe Moore (War Boys, Paranormal Infantry)
"Doctor" Snark (Mage Killers, Hi-Tech Infantry)
Habitually Red (Sane Max's Own, Hi-Tech Infantry)
Gordon Frohman (Concerned Citizens, Hi-Tech Infantry)
Patrick Gallagher (Just In Time, Elmag 2)
Svetlana Aliyev (Rusalka, Elmag 2)
Mael Radec (Radec's Rhinos, M1 Abrams)
Erik Spanner (The Toolbox, M1 Abrams)
James "Griff" Griffin (Party Crashers, M1 Abrams)
Basil (Paladin, M1 Abrams)
Jorji Costava (Cobrastan's Best, M1 Abrams)
Isara Gunther (Edelweiss, M1 Abrams)
Reginald P. Linux (Doom Squad, Leopard 2A5)
Aethereon Darkfyre (The Mary Sues, UDES)
Stephen Smith (The Counts of Monty Python, UDES)
Anil E. Hilated, Esq. (Polite Obliteration, M106)
Grand Inquisitor Solaus (Balkanian Inquisition, AMX-30)
Gregor (The Swell Swords, AMX-30)
Michael de Boulogne (Chivalric Order of Saint George, AMX-30)
Cholmondely Featherstonehaugh-Smythe (Sphinx Battery, Roland)
Sigrún Raske (Skysmasher Brigade, Roland)
Roger Murtaugh (Less Than Lethal, Roland)
Billy Mays (Infomercial Men, Humvees)
Vlasta Děvínská (Paper Tigers, Universal 1R)




They'd assembled a sizable force, and we had a lot of ground to cover. We were in for a long, difficult battle.



Smith and Mays scouted to the west, with Darkfyre and Děvínská taking the east.




There were plenty of foothills in the area, and it didn't take either team long to find one. Knowing the enemy often made use of higher ground, they both approached with caution.




And rightfully so.



Stephen Smith: Jesus, they're just not letting up! There's at least two, possibly three wizards up there. Leading 'em to you now.



Aethereon Darkfyre: For my own part, I have encountered the dreaded hellish impalers you call arrow throwers.
Habitually Red: I don't think any of us have dreaded those since England. Certainly not since we've gotten battlesuits.



Aethereon Darkfyre: I'm back, though I'm not sure if the Forces of Darkness still hound me.



Basil: Oh shit, it's those bomb birds again!
Roger Murtaugh: No problem, we can just shoot-




Reginald P. Linux: Impact, impact!



Reginald P. Linux: ...damn. Glad we got kitted out with Andurital before this mission.



Stephen Smith: Guys, get ready! They're here!



Anil E. Hilated: I'd hate to see what would happen if these guys hit me now that I'm using lighter armor. So I won't let them get close enough!



Stephen Smith: I'm gonna need a minute, guys, they did some damage on the way here.



Aethereon Darkfyre: Then I shall bleed for you, Stephen!



Billy Mays: THAT'S RIGHT, WE'RE NOW TAKING BULK ORDERS ON HELL RIDERS!



Anil E. Hilated: Don't let 'em get close!



Reginald P. Linux: Didn't plan on it.



Michael de Boulogne: Well, we almost got 'em all. I'm sure the survivors can't do too much damage.



Patrick Gallagher: Those can, though!



Lazarus: Oh shit, Pat!
Patrick Gallagher: I'm still good to fight, repeat, still good to fight!



Cholmondely: There's more of the confounded things to the north, along with a wizard.



Anil E. Hilated: One problem dealt with!



Roger Murtaugh: Got the birds! They drop like flies if you can just hit 'em in time.




The enemy continued to throw themselves at our lines. It seemed that now that they knew where we were, they were throwing everything they had at us.



Cholmondely: It's always nice to sit back and relax by popping a few balloons.



Anil E. Hilated: You know, I've lost count of how many wizards I've taken out. Maybe my unit should've been called Mage Killers.
"Doctor" Snark: Normally I'd be mad, but I take comfort in the fact that I'm the one who's killed a motherfucking dragon.
Mael Radec: Alright, people. We've survived the first wave. It's time to come to the enemy. We'll recon in force. Elmags, Gunther, Costava, you sweep the east. Smith, you're their shield. Darkfyre, you've got Linux, Griff, Basil, and myself to the west.



Erik Spanner: Where the hell are all these birds coming from, anyway?



Svetlana Aliyev: No idea, but these coilguns make short work of them.



Reginald P. Linux: Just dropped a tower. Maybe they're running out of steam? They did throw an awful lot of riders at us.



Patrick Gallagher: Not on the east, they're not!



Griff: How many of these damn birds do they have, and why are they only sending them at us one at a time?



Gordon Frohman: Enemy's bringing in anti-tank infantry, huh? Looks like a job for battlesuits!



Jorji Costava: Is time for smashing rocks.



Jorji Costava: This much more fun than when I did it in Arstotzka prison!



Isara Gunther: That's it, keep it up! None of these guys can stand up to our tanks!



Stephen Smith: Can't even dent mine!



Solrick Skaft: Someone do something, they're tearing up Billy!



Billy Mays: DON'T WORRY, SOLRICK, WE WON'T LET ANYTHING STOP OUR SHOW!



Anil E. Hilated: AT Orcs down! Be careful, though, there's never just one group.



Billy Mays: THAT'S RIGHT, ANIL, YOU NEVER HAVE TO SETTLE FOR JUST ONE!



Mael Radec: Can't reach the orcs yet, so take out the elves. They're probably acting as spotters!




Patrick Gallagher: I wonder if we could use the gravel from all these golems to rebuild after the war.




Isara Gunther I hope so. I like the idea of quarrying with tanks.






Patrick Gallagher: Really pouring it on, aren't they?
Svetlana Aliyev: Reminds me of the desert... damn, that was when we got the Elmag 1s, too.



Svetlana Aliyev: Looks like we've just about broken through.



Roger Murtaugh: Okay, I'm really getting tired of these damn birds.
Cholmondely: I must admit it's starting to get rather dull. One wonders why they even bother.



"Doctor" Snark: Just took out another bunch on my end, actually. They blow up nice if you hit their bombs, and since their bombs are strapped underneath them, that's not too hard!



Michael de Boulogne: Trogs may've learned anti-tank tactics, but they still can't cope with artillery!



Anil E. Hilated: West's clear, let's move up!
Mael Radec: Hold on, Anil. I hear more of them coming.



Svetlana Aliyev: Sonic tank! Looks like they're just getting warmed up on this end.
Mael Radec: Spanner, head east and reinforce them.



Erik Spanner: Oh good, I get to head into the fray just when things are actually getting dangerous.



Jorji Costava: Only danger here is to enemy!



Stephen Smith: They still got golems hiding somewhere!



Stephen Smith: Oh, there they are.



Jorji Costava: Am unstoppable!




Mael Radec: AT Orcs down.
Habitually Red: Maybe now we can finally explore ahea-



Habitually Red: Goddamn, guys. You might be getting better weapons, but you have no idea how to use them. You send in the tanks first, then the infantry!



Mael Radec: Red, don't interrupt your enemy when they're making a mistake.



Basil: What the f-
Griff: Looks like we've got a tower to the north!
Basil: No, that's not a tower! That wasn't a cannonball they shot at us, it was more like a fireball.



Basil: I think we found our culprit.



Basil: It's alone, and I don't see any weapons. Probably means it's a spellcaster. Everyone be careful, we don't know what it can really do.



"Doctor" Snark: A spellcaster? Let's just see if I can get a shot-




Griff: There's only one rule for mages, and that's kill them as fast as possible!



"Doctor" Snark: God damnit. My unit's never gonna earn its name, is it? I'll just have to take my anger out on these birds.



Basil: Hang on, those birds were flying up when we shot them! All the others were flying level.
Griff: Maybe they came from somewhere nearby. I'll bet if we look, we'll find a nest or something!



Mael Radec: I think we just found our something.
Reginald P. Linux: You mean these things are creating the birds? Can they do that?
Mael Radec: Wouldn't be the first mages we've seen that could create other enemies.



"Doctor" Snark: Alright, I'm going for 'em. I've been waiting too long for this!



Basil: Snark, don't rush in alone, you-
"Doctor" Snark: I NEED THIS. It's time to fulfill my destiny! No one interfere!



Griff: Can we shoot down the birds, at least?
"Doctor" Snark: Well, they aren't technically the wizard... so sure, go nuts.



"Doctor" Snark: THAT JUST MEANS THEY WON'T GET BETWEEN ME AND HIM!



"Doctor" Snark: NO! THIS IS BETWEEN YOU AND ME! STOP TRYING TO GET OTHERS DRAGGED INTO THIS!



"Doctor" Snark: LET'S SEE IF YOUR FIRE CAN BEAT MY LEAD, ASSHOLE!



"Doctor" Snark: Finally, all is right with the world.
Mael Radec: Speaking of which, it looks like we've just won. Just got word from the other team. What's left of the enemy is running full-on to the south, behind Shen Tzu's lines.
Griff: We pursuing?
Mael Radec: Negative. We don't have the orders or the firepower to attack the Chinese lines at this time. We've secured Russia, and that's what we set out to do.
Reginald P. Linux: Huh. You know, after the dragon, that was a bit anticlimactic.



With most of Russia and Mongolia under our control came the announcement we'd all been waiting for. We'd opened an invasion corridor to China. Alliance divisions were being amassed all along China's northern border. Masses of troop and vehicle transport were carrying North American forces across the Pacific, aimed at China's coast. It was time for the Alliance to release the country from Shen Tzu's grip and restore the government-in-exile.

Deep-field recon teams had, with great effort and considerable losses, retrieved reliable intelligence that one of the Gates had been found in China. After years of desperate defenses and meager advances, we could now begin to destroy the means through which the Forces of Darkness invaded Earth. If we could destroy these Gates, the theory went, we would sever the links that connected the enemy's world to ours. Our division's job would be to go to the rural Xinjiang province in the northwest part of China, where our intelligence indicated the gate was, to find and destroy it.

We'd nipped at the enemy's fingers enough. Now we would strike at their heart.