Part 53: Mission 53: The Destructor

With the battle for the next Gate drawing closer, and Murdanur aiding Medusa in her defenses, the enemy commanders had become a top priority for our intelligence team. They were able to discover that, despite their cooperation, the Gate Masters were more akin to competing feudal barons than high-ranking officers in a unified chain of command. Perhaps we could find some way to turn this to our advantage.



Meanwhile, after much anticipation from everybody who was in on the knowledge, the Drunken Slavs had receieved their first Destructor. The sole vehicle available would be assigned to Radec's unit, but if it lived up to its reputation, acquiring more to replace our other tank platoons would become a top priority.



The main body of Medusa's forces had retreated behind a gorge she'd created with her Earth-sculpting abilities. The area created a perfect chokepoint, and crossing it would mean being funneling into narrow corridors and engaging the enemy with a few of our units at a time. Attacking via this route would mean stepping into a meatgrinder.



So we'd take the long way around. There had apparently been some sort of magical ritual carried out here sometime before our arrival, but with its completion, it was no longer a top strategic priority for the Forces of Darkness. We expected stiff resistance from the demons that had been left behind to defend the area, but it still presented an easier target than the mountain pass.

Mission 53: The Destructor

Attending:
Lazarus (Forlorn Hope, Mobile Infantry)
T. Hinman (Ethereal Corps, Mobile Infantry)
Habitually Red (Sane Max's Own, Mobile Infantry)
Gordon Frohman (Concerned Citizens, Mobile Infantry)
Solrick Skaft (Scion of Emer, Mobile Infantry)
Joe Moore (War Boys, Mobile Infantry)
"Doctor" Snark (Mage Killers, Mobile Infantry)
Emil Västerström (Trollhunters, Mobile Infantry)
Patrick Gallagher (Just In Time, Elmag 2)
Svetlana Aliyev (Rusalka, Elmag 2)
Mael Radec (Radec's Rhinos, Destructor)
Erik Spanner (The Toolbox, M1 Abrams)
James "Griff" Griffin (Party Crashers, M1 Abrams)
Basil (Paladin, M1 Abrams)
Reginald P. Linux (Doom Squad, Leopard 2A5)
Grandalt Noddington (Tea Battalion, Leopard 2A5)
Hulk Hogan (The Hulkamaniacs, Leopard 2A5)
Aethereon Darkfyre (The Mary Sues, UDES)
Stephen Smith (The Counts of Monty Python, UDES)
Grand Inquisitor Solaus (Balkanian Inquisition, MLRS)
Michael de Boulogne (Chivalric Order of Saint George, MLRS)
Gregor (The Swell Swords, MLRS)
Pusher Bot (The Space Robots, MLRS)
Anil E. Hilated, Esq. (Polite Obliteration, M106)
Cholmondely Featherstonehaugh-Smythe (Sphinx Battery, Roland)
Sigrún Raske (Skysmasher Brigade, Roland)
Roger Murtaugh (Less Than Lethal, Roland)
Billy Mays (Infomercial Men, Mi-24)
Bob & Doug McKenzie (Royal Canadian Red-greens, Mi-24)
Vlasta Devínská (Paper Tigers, Universal 2R)
Mr. Spooks (Ghost Legion, Universal 2R)



Mael Radec: Now, this is a command vehicle.
Reginald P. Linux: Not gonna lie, I'm jealous.
Svetlana Aliyev: Let's just see how it does when the fire's on, huh?




Aethereon Darkfyre: Man. In his death worship, he fawns over his killing machines, even as doom approaches.



Pusher Bot: But look, our killing machines solved our doom problem!
Mael Radec: Well done! Spooks, Smith, scout out that hill to the right. If you find anything, pull back and-



Stephen Smith: Godfuckingdamnit. Can we just, like, put the radar equipment on our UDES or something? There's only so much I can do to protect these guys.



Stephen Smith: And I'm gonna be next if I don't get some help!



Patrick Gallagher: We've, uh, got a few problems of our own here.




Habitually Red: Aaaaah! Now Smith's problem is our problem too!



Bob McKenzie: We'll keep the skies clear, eh! I'm sure you guys can handle the demons.




Solaus: Wouldn't be much of an inquisitor if I couldn't!



Roger Murtaugh: And don't forget us! We're tired of copters and jetpacks stealing our thunder!
Sigrún Raske: ...Well, skies are clear now. Guess it's time for us to go back in storage.
Roger Murtaugh:



Paladin: There's a hill to the northwest. Let's scout that out next!





Vlasta Devínská: Another canyon, two land bridges... and an enemy banner.
Emil Västerström: Well, I think we can all guess what will happen if we try to cross the bridge.
Mael Radec: We do, and we're prepared for it. Everyone up!



Mael Radec: Okay, now, all UDES on me. We're drawing the enemy out.



Stephen Smith: You guys see anything?
Aethereon Darkfyre: No, the chasm is as quiet as a moonless night.
Stephen Smith: Great! Come on up guys, it's safe!



Stephen Smith: Shit, never mind! Everyone back!




Anil E. Hilated: Hell Riders may be able to teleport, but it just means they wander into my radius of death faster.



Mael Radec: Hold tight, everyone! Fortress!



Solaus: Don't worry about the demon! I've got it covered!



Based on the results of field testing, our engineers estimated that a bunkered Destructor was an even match for a Fortress of Terror.



It was a different story for a Destructor that had artillery support, though.



Mael Radec: Okay, let's see what's on the other side of the bridge!




Vlasta Devínská: There's a plateau up ahead... whole lotta blood on the other side, too. Whatever kind of ritual they were doing here, it apparently involved a hell of a lot of human sacrifice.
Grandalt Noddington: Sounds about par for the course. What can you see from the top of the hill?




Vlasta Devínská: Castle walls! I'll bet this is where the ritual site is!
Erik Spanner: Well, nothing stopping us. Let's roll in and get some revenge.



Roger Murtaugh: YES THERE FUCKING IS. THE ONE TIME WE AREN'T IGNORED, AND IT'S BECAUSE A 20 FOOT HELL MONSTER IS TRYING TO FIREBALL US.



Anil E. Hilated: Don't worry, Roger! I'd never give it the chance!



Roger Murtaugh: FUCK, YES YOU WOULD.
Svetlana Aliyev: Someone find out where the damn things are coming from!



Anil E. Hilated: Here, I'll help you along! The explosions from my artillery shells are bright enough that you can't possibly miss them!
Michael de Boulogne: I'm sure we couldn't, if there was anything left to miss.



Emil Västerström: Do you think they'll ever learn that undead are useless even as a distraction by this point?
Reginald P. Linux: I sure hope not!




Vlasta Devínská: You guys got things under control there? Good. Getting radar data from just outside the site now. There's a well...



Vlasta Devínská: ...a stonehenge, and a huge demonic army. Most of it's just grunts, both living and dead, but they've got Riders and a Demon with them.
Stephen Smith: And they haven't noticed us even though we're blocking up the entire entrance. So, uh, take as much time as you need to getting into position, I guess.

Soon...



Billy Mays: AND WITH THIS FORMATION, YOU CAN STORM ANY CASTLES YOU NEED TO!



Mael Radec: Well, can't say the Destructor doesn't live up to its name.



Michael de Boulogne: You can keep your mega tank, hitting things from over the horizon is suiting me just fine.



Mael Radec: Repair crews get ready, here comes the counterattack!



Pusher Bot: Our wall's still standing, and they're thinning out fast! Soon all that'll be left are the skellies!



Hulk Hogan: YEAHHHH, BROTHERS! NOW IT'S TIME TO LET HULKAMANIA RUN WILD OVER 'EM!
Erik Spanner: ...Seriously, where the fuck does Command even find you people?



Clearing out the rest of the undead was a pretty trivial matter. The area seemed to be clear, but the team swept the rest of it just to be safe.




The only enemy group left was on the plateau, northeast of where they had crossed. They had, for one reason or another, failed to take the chance to surround us when we attacked the ritual site.



Seeing a Fortress of Terror among the enemy forces, they weren't taking any chances.




Anil E. Hilated: DENIED!



Patrick Gallagher: Okay, now, everyone concentrate your fire! Bring it down before it can rain bombs on us!



Grandalt Noddington: Is that it, then?



Basil: Nope.



Basil: That is.
Cholmondely: While you blokes were wreaking havoc on the entirely ground-based enemy, I decided to take a jaunt around the ritual site.
Mael Radec: Find anything interesting?
Cholmondely: It appears as though they were summoning some sort of gigantic, single being. There was a large chamber in the center of the temple with a door the size of one of their castle gates, with a very large and very ornate summoning circle at the center. A dozen shackles hung from the wall, each large enough that I could've driven my vehicle through them.
Mael Radec: And the monster itself was...?
Cholmondely: Gone, sir.




Whatever it was that Medusa had summoned, all signs pointed to it making even the demons seem small in comparison, and we had no idea where it was, what it looked like, or what it was capable of. She was surely able to deploy it by now, but for one reason or another, she had not. There was no doubt she would, though; she was merely holding it in reserve. We didn't know when we'd have to face it in the battlefield, but we knew the day had come.

We could at least console ourselves with the new weapon on our own side. The Destructor had lived up to its awesome reputation, the enemy's waves breaking against its bulwarks and being annihilated by its guns. The Destructor was our ace, our trump card. We could only hope it would be enough.

Killed In Action

Mr. Spooks