Part 21: Alternative 1. The Crazy Customer

Alternative 1. The Crazy Customer

This is the waitress-path alternate to the stage where you have to convince Shana to do your photoshoot in the model path.

I need cash. There were no modelling gigs for me to do, my webcam money dried up awhile ago, and I couldn't find Brett to squeeze money from him. Fortunately, the Tap Room needed a waitress so I decided to take a shift.

Alex was my superior, which was already Sign #1 that this was going to be a nightmare.

And that was before the crazy customer walked in. Brett sent me a weird Powerpoint when I texted him about it.



I guess it was somehow sponsored by Southern Comfort. Anyway, Alex walked up.



I was getting weird vibes from Alex. How do I respond to that?

The Sezza posted:

We require intimate details of the contents of her colon

What's stuck up your butt?



Go ahead and try.



Enjoy wha-



Nah, I'd better not say that.

Maybe I should be nicer.

How's your day, Alex?



Why don't you like me?



But I- I'm not...



I've never made fun of you!



What do I do?



The name's Skye, I'll have you know, but



I could probably do it better than you.



Could you do the first one for me?



I got it.





Onto my first customer...



Hello, my name's Becky.

Time paradox! At this point in the game, we've only met Leanne once in the club where we found out Danny was the blind date, and in the bonus round where we got her gossip.

"Slowbeef, why didn't you take a save state right at the model/waitress branch point and show the alternate stages next to each other? Meaning show the model version of the stage and then the alternate one?"

Because there's two more alternate stages further ahead, and even with save states I'd have to have played up to those points six times total (three alternate stages, twice for each path.) By doing one branch, than the other, it's only twice I have to play through the game.

The bad news is we don't have the gasoline because you only get that from winning the model path. The good news is, you can find another can later in the waitress path, I'm pretty sure.

You also can't combine items, so I'm also pretty sure you can't use it in conjunction with the lighter. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.



Wow. Now, what's a waitressy thing to ask?

lemon shark posted:

How's the weather?

How's the weather outside?



That was some vivid imagery.

Sindai posted:

How does she know how hot a popcorn fart was?

How would you know?



Are you ready to order?



Another memory game! I'll spare you.

What would you like to drink?
Whatcha got?



Soda?



Nope, not a guessing game. Suggest anything and you'll get the same response until the third thing. You can even suggest the same thing three times to advance things along.

Soda?
Certainly not.
Soda?



WHO THE FUCK IS THIS SOUTHERN?! Even worse...

No, I want lemonade. Or iced tea... Or water...
What can I get you to eat?



Once again...

The almond-crusted salmon?
Nope, don't want that.
The almond-crusted salmon?
Nope, don't want that.
The almond-crusted salmon?
I'd like spare ribs and mashed potatoes! No wait, a large bowl of chitlins! Or maybe collared greens cooked in garlic... Then there's always bacon and beans with corn.

Would you like anything else?

I'd also like a slice of key lime pie. Or a cherry yogurt. Maybe a basket of bread. No, just some chicken soup. But there's always a bowl of strawberries... Ice cream. Definitely, ice cream. Shepherd's pie...?

If that's everything...



Let me get your food and beverage...



Absolutely, ma'am. To drink, you'd like... Water.
You're gooder than grits!
For your meal, you ordered... Bacon and beans with corn.
Ain't you just as cute as a sack of puppies.
And you also wanted... Shepherd's pie!



How's your meal?



That's not a fly!



Uh oh... I couldn't have her complain to my manager on my first day!



Just because a chicken's got wings don't mean it can fly.
That's a good point.



What language were we speaking?



Look, it's my first time away from home.
Act like you got some raising.



Threatening to beat her down would only cause her to get the manager and get me fired.

Please please please please! I'm sure we can work this out!



And then she gave me $25! I am like the best waitress ever!



So Alex and I called a truce, and so ended my second day as a waitress! Brett made me a Photoshop...



With only $25, we can't buy the ring in the Shopping Bonus Round - so we'll have to settle for a candle. That nets us this response from Erica:



Trying to get Conor in Sanctuary - if you are a waitress, Alex calls you instead of Elliot.

Hey, chump?
Are you and Kiki related?
No, what would give you that idea?

But it's nothing significant. The conversation when you're mingling with Conor's friends (Elliot and Leanne) is a little different when you start talking to Elliot, but it's mostly about how you didn't get the job and how he'll rectify that.