Part 22: Bloopers
Due to popular demand, I have compiled a blooper reel.First, the Druuge.
Since this isn't for reals, just pick anything, like the hyperwave caster, and then you get a scene which words and pictures alone won't justify. So here's a video of me screwing the Druuge. By the time I got back to base, I had 1589 fuel, which means a profit of (1589 - 25) x 20 = 31280. Not a bad haul, if it didn't wreck the game for you.
Next up are the Thraddash conversations options. I truncated their text a bit because they just repeat themselves, so just refer to the previous update.
First up are the "how to introduce yourself" options, along with the standard greeting when you do meet them later
Captain: To really capture the spirit of Interstellar Diplomatic Protocol you should speak pig latin.
Thraddash: Pig-Latin, eh? Isn't that where you take the first letter or two of a word, put it at the end, and then add an "ay" at the very end? Hmm...let me try.
"Upidstay Eaturecray! Eparepray otay ieday!"
Hey! I like that! It gives one the semblance of wit and education without all that dready studying! Just one question, Great Teacher. How do you say "example" in pig latin?
Greeting: Eway areyay ethay igpay atinlay eakingspay Addashthray! Orstsnay!
C: Just greet people the way we do.
T: Hmm...okay. I see. When necessary, we will be obsequious and kowtow and the rest of the time, we will bluster and threaten!
How simple!
G: This is Grah of the starship Hot Pulsing Thrusters.
C: Try being polite and friendly in your greetings.
T: Okay, we will be polite. That will cause visitors to let their guard down, then we attack them! Yes, what an excellent plan!
G: Hello and good day! How are you today? We are just fine, thank you! Are your mates and offspring well? How simply marvelous!
Next are the "What shall we call ourselves" responses:
Captain: How about "The Fat Obstreperous Jerks?
Thraddash: I like it! This name, being such an obvious contrast to our true nature, will fool our enemies into believing we are harmless, because surely only fools would let themselves be known by such a name!
C: It will be "The Glorious Slave Empire of Stubing!"
T: Ulp! Well, you're the one with the big starship. So be it.
Finally, "How should we act?"
C: Lighten up! Be kind of...you know...Wacky! Here, try watching these vids: Monty Python and the Marx Brothers.
T: Wacky! ...Wacky? I do not understand. We shall watch these vids of yours. We shall study them, to learn to be...wacky. Then, when we are wacky enough, we shall test our new wackiness in combat to discover, no doubt, the great advantage it has given us.
C: Try being more contemplative. Consider the many facets of a single gem, and stuff like that.
T: Aha! Contemplation, yes! New thought and realizations! With our new studious ways, we shall uncover new methods, inventions, and schemes, allowing us to conquer entire civilizations with ease! Brilliant, human, brilliant!
C: Be kind at all times and in all places. Treat each stranger you meet as your best friend.
T: Friendly? Kind? The wisdom escapes me...ah yes! I understand now! Being kind, being friendly...this will allow intruders to let their guard down, and when we kill them, they will be too surprised to react! What a great plan, human! You are truly a Great Teacher!