Part 14: Mischief Makers

Both, if we're lucky. It's not hard to do with Claude, Ashton, and a healer. I had Precis for it once too, but her stat gains eventually become so dismal that she can't actually do more than 0 damage to him.

Chapter 13: Mischief Makers

Since ZeeToo has now officially been initiated into our party with some pickpocketing, we begin this chapter

with grinding.


Energy Arrow is cool because it does reasonably large damage this early in the game, and it's pretty to look at. On the other hand, it wastes my time by freezing battles, and we'll have much better spells at our disposal by the time we have enough MP to cast it on a normal basis, so we're never actually going to use it.


I still don't know how the fuck this happened.

Anyway, after grinding a few levels up here, we teach ZeeToo a new item creation command:

This will actually make fun things happen before the next (not-so-) major plot point.


Geese levels up a few times and I can finally max out Functionality, which will also make very fun things happen, but not until after the next few plot points.


Incidentally he also learns how to throw Hadokens.


GRINDING FINISHED.


Now we go to Mars. Again. ZeeToo happens to live here with her parents who must obviously think somewhat poorly of their trollop-ly daughter.

There are also Important Things to be done here:

... Oh. Private Action.


Not quite what I meant.


Tallgeese is a simple man. I can respect that. For example, I love FFX because the sphere board is pretty to look at. FF13's "sphere board," not so much; incidentally, I largely dislike FF13.


what the fuck kind of question is this




"OF FIRE. AND DEATH. "







Okay, now on to REAL important things:

Stealin' shit out of treasure boxes.

Such as:

heheheh i think i know what mars village is known for guys


The village elder is also a pain in the ass to pickpocket.


Reasonably so, but again, nothing we can't concoct for less than the item's selling price.


"SO DISAPPOINTED IN THAT GIRL"


This is ZeeToo's room. Obviously we rob her blind.


...

MORE LIKE ZEEJEW

With that, we head out to progress the story.



Oh who am I kidding, what kind of LP would this be if I didn't show off all the Private Actions in this game?


Ahh, our PA today is brought to you by Clinically Insane Lady.


The poor woman has gas.






Now, everyone knows Filia's secret. She plays an impossibly small and hidden role if you save at the last save point before the final boss and then leave the end dungeon to go exploring some more, but that's not the secret I'm talking about.


This is what I meant.

The Mischief is a special accessory that gives you free items as you walk around. They can range anywhere from a Bounced Check (COSTS Fol to sell, and constantly drains your money while it's in your possession) to a paltry sum of gold to a Forged Medals (a really rare Mischief-RNG item, and automatically sets one character's "EXP To Next Level" to 1).

Now, it was my original intention to laugh the Mischief right out of this LP. However, either by means of incredible luck or because ePSXe's RNG is a bit skewed, I never once got the amazingly common "bad item," the Bounced Check, from walking around with this equipped. But as usual, we have more pressing matters to attend to:


Not sure what this does.


Can't pickpocket this fortuneteller.


Golgo 13 turned gay and started a boutique.




This, however, is pretty much the best thing.

When two characters have high friendship or romance values and one falls in battle, the other gets mad and his or her damage doubles. The Berserk Ring, at the cost of making you vulnerable to a bunch of elements, lets you start the battle with super strength. Obviously it goes straight to Tallgeese.


Yeah, Billy is so badass that she stole something from a dude who was taking a shit on the other side of a closed door.


Spicy Cakes are a failed dessert food. If you eat them out of battle, they instantly kill you.


Okay, so it's time to get everyone back together and get this story advanced.


... Once I get myself some free items.


I'm pretty sure 1028 is the maximum amount of gold you can get at once from the Mischief.




It took way too long, but I did eventually get this.


Isn't it beautiful?

Forged Medals, as already mentioned, is basically the "win" button. Now all we have to do is get a steady source of Magical Film, max out Geese's Reproduction level, and get some game-breaking levels.

Okay, NOW to progress with the story. I promise, this time.

"passport."


"No, I mean sexual favors. What the hell do you think, kid?"






"Leave? Don't be ridiculous. You need to go on at least one more fetch quest before that."

I wish I was kidding.








This game is fucking horrible.


Though I do like the unadulterated rage that Geese's allcaps outburst conveys.

That's another thing we'll never get again what with these shit-terrible erotic moaning and whiny teenager VAs.