Part 23: In Which A Five-Year-Old Goes To A Bar

Chapter 21: In Which A Five-Year-Old Goes To A Bar

Today,

we are gonna find out just what the fuck that hideous thing on the wall there is.


We are also gonna get our Pickpocket on.


Now that we have the Melufa, this pickpocket is kind of... y'know...


Anyway, this picture is apparently so important that it made it into the town's world map brick.

After cleaning out the town, we go to the castle to check things out.








Anyway, this is Volatile Penguin, or Penguin for short. Every screenshot that he appears in after this point was eaten by the emulator, so I'm introducing him now so I don't have to work hard about it later.


He's carrying around a book that gives free levels (up to Level 5) in some music-related skill. Needless to say, we kind of don't have a use for it any more.


This fat fuck has the same idea as we do, but we break his dreams by stealing his only pair of Bandit's Gloves.


Oh hey remember her?


We stole her fiancé, so may as well go the whole nine yards and steal her royal symbol, too.


Well, don't feel bad. I don't think she remembers us, even though we crashed her wedding right in front of fucking face.



Anyway, let's leave the town and not do a private action.



If you talk to the secretary in the castle while with your party, you can register for the Tournament of Arms.




"Baby I trained for nineteen years playing holographic virtual reality JRPGs. If I can't do it, nobody can."




Well, let's find a fucking sponsor.


I WANT THIS ONE

But you can't have it, because that little brat out front keeps telling you to go away.


So I settle for this one, which has the least-shitty selection out of all the other sponsors.




And with the least-shitty equipment comes most batshit insane owner.


i can't be seen in this shit what the fuck game


Well guess what, the other shops offer like Leather Armor and a fucking Longsword, which is exactly what the game gave us in Arlia. Twenty updates ago.


"yeah i can make jokes about minorities too but i don't wanna get the white dragon probated on account of my foul mouth"




"Because I'm looking for Knox "
"Billy shut up"


Geese shut up


Actually you know what?


you're all fuckin' retards, so you should all shut up


What is this, the TSA of room-renting?






Yes get out


you mopey bitch


i hope you get your ending all alone and marry alen

you deserve it


So basically the whole point of this scene is that you find this little girl who has been telling everyone to fuck off and go away crying because she told everyone to fuck off and go away.


So now Billy is going to take this little girl to a bar.


This is the worst eventing I've seen in pretty much any game. It's an event in which you talk to everyone like twenty times, each time reading the same blocks of text as the last nineteen times, before the game finally arbitrarily decides that you've talked enough times, at which point it advances the story


by making this faggot walk through the door.

Now, we saw him in Mars Village. If I'd shown that part, we would've seen him pissing and moaning for about an hour and a half, which is why I didn't show that part.


He actually pisses and moans for about an hour and a half in this part, too, but for the sake of continuity, I kind of have to keep it in.

If we were playing as Geese, we wouldn't have to put up with this shit at all, actually.


Suddenly, the dudes in the bar finally get fed up with that bratty kid pestering them.


Uh, no, because that doesn't make any fucking sense whatsoever.







Anyway, the scene ends with us just kinda walking out of the bar. There is seriously no resolution to or elaboration on this discussion. You just leave.



Yes. Actually, yes, you are.




Anyway, Knox leaves, thank God.


He also registers with the brat's grandpa.


Anyway, I'm tired. Let's head back to the inn, we'll get to the tournament next time.