Part 17: I'm On a Boat, Motherfucker, Take a Look at Me

Before we do anything plot-related, though, there's an optional fight to be had that involves Tai Ho and Yam Koo.



Let's go over our newest battlers, though. Lorelai is just another archer in this game, absolutely nothing special.



Mina is an incredibly fantastic character, but she has some forced equipment and an S-range weapon (her fan/shawl thing). She gets ridiculous stat growths and is on par with the main character most of the time.



Hellion is an okay mage, her only interesting feature being a Mother Earth Rune that we can't remove. She's not a unique user of this Rune, but the Mother Earth Rune is much better than the Earth Rune. It has more uses of the all-enemy Earth spells like Earthquake and Voice of Earth, but sadly the two defense party buffs, Guardian Earth and Clay Guardian, don't actually work. :/



Lotte is probably a slightly better mage than Hellion, but she's nothing special, really.



so after having Gaspar win Chinchirorin for me, I sharpen Tai Ho and Yam Koo to their max level and get them the best available equipment. They'll need it.



no I mean seriously he got NOTHING but snake eye storms and gave me buckets of money.



and because I forgot that Teien sharpens to level 12, we now have the Heaven Fang Staff. So badass.



Anyway, you want them properly leveled, because this is a fight we probably shouldn't be taking on right now.



To the north of Teien is the Pirates' Fortress.



Inside are three dudes



who are very odd indeed





Anji: Get ready to fight!

This only happens if you have BOTH Tai Ho and Yam Koo in your entourage



This is an entirely optional fight, but mandatory if you want all the Stars of Destiny. All three of these guys are particularly dangerous, and moreso because we probably shouldn't be fighting them right now.





But honestly, they're nothing really too hard. Tai Ho and Yam Koo's Unite is particularly useful here, because Tai Ho has a ridiculously high attack stat right now.



One thing that could have made this fight harder is if they used their Unite, which we'll have access to after the fight.



Anji has the most HP, Leonardo has the highest attack, and Kanak is the weakest. This is true for their usefulness in battle as well. The hardest part of this battle, however, is that you must beat them within five rounds. If you don't, the fight just ends and you'll have to do it again.



Our characters getting multiple criticals in a row helps a lot, though. I beat them in four rounds.



Anji: Let's teach those Imperials a lesson! What about you two, Leonardo, Kanak?

Leonardo: If you go, we go too.

Kanak: Of course.



And that's it for their involvement in the plot for the rest of the game. Now we have a motley crew of pirates with us, and only one of them has any actual personality.



For this next section to occur, we need to take a boat out from Rikon and head down the river. Why Rikon? Well the Fortress of Garan seals off the river from Teien or anywhere else, and there's nowhere else to go.



A buncha rapids are blocking us from reaching a small hermit's house. Why we need to go there is beyond us right now, though, UNLESS you talk to every single person in this area. Through that process, you'll find out a man named Liukan can make an antidote for our army so we can resist the Poisonous Pollen's effects. Liukan, unfortunately, lives past these rapids.



Gremio: We can't do this with an ordinary boat.

Now this part requires a little more exploration. Back in Teien there's a man who makes sweet boats. Let's go talk to him.



I already talked to him before, and he mentioned that he wants nothing to do with us unless we need him to build a nice boat.



Gen: All right. I, Gen, will show you how it's done. But I can't do it alone. An ordinary boat will never make it. I have some ideas. Old Man Kamandol next door can help us. Even if he's half dead.



Gen forces his way in, meaning we have to take out Pahn for now.



Gen's alright. He's not bad, but not great. He gets some decent Power statgains, but he's about as average as Kuromimi, really.



Gen: Hey old man! I know you're in there! Come out, you bum, or I'll break down the door!



Gen: Here you are, you creepy old man. You should get some sunlight, you look sick. Come on out.

Kamandol: I warned you not to call me “old man”! What do you want with me, anyway. Bringing these delinquents with you.



Gen: I was going to ask you how they can be navigated, but come to think of it, a senile old fool like you wouldn't have a clue, right?

Kamandol: Watch your mouth! I can do anything, depending on the time... and money.





Basically, Kamandol's idea is to build a boat that runs on fossil fuels. Let's destroy the environment!



I remember this one time I went on a boat, tubing of course so I was like riding the fake rapids generated by the boat's engine, and not actually on the boat for the most part



Yeah I hated tubing, I kept getting bumped off. And the lake we were cruising around in wasn't particularly clean. Lotsa algae, perhaps some kelp? Clay at the bottom.



I now know to tube properly, of course, but my Florida family wasn't particularly the best introduction to it



This translates to “First Love”, but only if the “l'” was dropped, because “premier amour” is just fine on its own. The translation team really could have used someone who actually spoke French. Kamandol is referring to Rikon, by the way.





And somehow the five (Kamandol claims he's too fragile) of us carried a boat all the way to Rikon from Teien.



Kamandol is fucking terrible. He has a shitty weapon, shitty statgains, shitty everything. His S-range makes him totally unusable because why would you ever put him in the front, and I hate him (he does, however, get decent Skill, but why would that matter when he can't hit worth shit). Therefore, he'll be used in this LP. He has a Unite with Gen as well, which isn't too bad.



Flik: It was pretty tough fighting with this on my back.

500,000 Monopoly dollars to whoever draws a picture of our current gang (Main, Viktor, Flik, Gremio, Gen) carrying the engine on their backs while fighting Mad Ivy monsters while Kamandol sits off in the corner and does jack shit or drinks tea or something



Anyway, we have to stay at the inn for a bit while the Odd Couple goes to work.



Flik has sleep apnea, or smoker's lung, one or the other



Gremio, however, can't sleep at all. It's like he feels something bad is going to happen.

Gremio: Initially I wanted to repay my debt to Master Teo, but now... perhaps you no longer need me to protect you.



deal with it.



So our boat does not fundamentally look any different despite having an engine. That's kinda weird.



Liukan: You want me to prepare some medicine, right? I'm tired of all that.

Gremio: Please, sir. We need an antidote to Milich's poisonous flowers.







Suikoden Tunes – Theme of Narcissism

Special note: Gay men all ride dragons wherever they go. I have one that I named Brvtal Thunder because he rains down homosexuality on all his foes with devastating accuracy.

Milich: I am the Greatest of the Five Great Generals, Milich Oppenheimer, the Flower General.

Gremio: Nonsense! The greatest of the Five Great Generals is Teo!



Milich: Your father must be in tears to hear his son has become a traitor to the Empire.

Viktor: Hey you, Peacock Man. What's your business here?

Milich: Oh yes, I nearly forgot. It just won't do for you to render my sweet flower's poison useless. I shall invite Dr. Liukan to my impenetrable Soniere Prison.



are you so sure about that bro



Curses, foiled again! If it wasn't for that meddling queer!



No one in our current crew knows how to break in there, sadly.





Mathiu: Let's get her and a scrivener named Tesla to join us. Kimberly is an acquaintance of mine, I've written her a letter. Give this to her and she'll join our cause.



Next time: Flik gets hit on by a cougar.

Artwork:



Anji – Tenken Star



Kanak – Tenzai Star



Leonardo – Tenpai Star



Gen – Chiman Star



Kamandol – Chiri Star