Part 23: I fucking hate Chaco

Chapter 23 - I fucking hate Chaco



Let's go, ladies. To the above poster, I will be happy to show off some more combination attacks once we have a few more people to warrant a video.







"You'll know it when you see it, since it's directly on the river. I'm gonna go on ahead and make arrangements. Wait up for me, OK? I wrote you a letter of introduction. We don't know when the Highland Army will attack, so the security is tight. Show this to the guards and they should let you into the assembly hall. Well then, I'll see you there."







Every day is a Carnival (Human District)
We are number Wuff(Kobold District)
Two Rivers (Winger District)





"Oh yeah? Let's see it. Oh, you don't have anything? Did some kid pick your pocket or something? Heh heh heh. You tourists make such easy pickings. Two River used to be just Humans and Kobolds, but then those winged freaks came down from the mountains. Now they're stealing stuff, holding messed up ceremonies with weird-smelling incense, and just ruining everything. Well, it's a tough break for you, but rules are rules, No papers, no admittance."



I WILL MURDER YOU.



So they translate 'Fufufu' here as 'Huhuhu' and in other parts as Hoo hoo hoo. What the fuck.



Seriously, vote for him first next time so I never have to see his fucking face again.











"And then compounding the crime with a lie about bringing back the person who defeated the Highland Army, you, Fitcher, are hereby setenced to 100 lashes!"

"B, b, but it's true I tell you! Lord Riou will be here any minute now! Please wait just a little longer, Lord Ridley!"

"Your lies won't save you this time, Fitcher."

"But, but..."

"Rules are rules, and I won't bend them for you. Preprare for your punishment, Fitcher."

"No, no, please. I'm begging you. Go easy on me..."

"That wouldn't be much of a punishment then, would it? Now just get ready."



If you choose not to say anything (Perhaps as revenge for your initial meeting) poor Fitcher ends up getting lashed and then asks you why you didn't come and save him. Poor guy.

"Lord Riou! Thank god!! You've saved me!!! This is the person who defeated the Highland Army!"

"Could it be...?"

"This young boy?"

"A boy like him defeating the Highland Army? Don't make me laugh!"

"Are you truly Lord Riou, leader of the Unicorn Army?"

"You see? Just like I told you! I told you he was coming..."

"Excuse me, but we have no proof that you are who you say you are."



"His right hand! He's got the same rune on his right hand as the hero, Genkku did... the Bright Shield Rune. That should be proof enough!"

"...Genkaku..."

"But Lord Genkaku was in Highland..."

"Let me see your hand... It is the Bright Shield Rune! I understand. Please come this way. I'd like you to meet Lord Makai, the leader of our town."

"Thanks for saving me, Lord Riou. Eh? How did I know about the rune? Ha ha, you underestimate me. C'mon, let's go in."





"That's the official title of the leader appointed by the three assembly houses, but that's not important now."



you.

"But no, I forget, you're unrelated by blood. At least that's what I heard from Fitcher."

"Ha ha. Lord Riou is the one that beat the Highland Army, all right. I, Fitcher, personally guarantee it!!"

"If he is Lord Riou, he's probably embarassed to have your personal guarantee."

"Ha ha ha, as you say my lord. Excuse me, Lord Riou."

"Lord Riou, Two River welcomes you and the Unicorn Army to our town. Let's fight side by side and drive Luca Blight and his ilk out of State land. Incidentally, Lord Riou, I heard you were involved in some sort of incident here in Two River?"



"It's the work of those punks! They're sullying the proud reputation of our city of Two River. Please forgive us."

"Those flying freaks are nothing but trouble. Originally, they lived in the mountains beyond here, but in my grandfather's day, about 80 years ago, they came to live here... They've been officially recognized as Two River Citizens by our three houses of congress, but... Well, there's no point in talking about it now I suppose. We have made a reservation for you at the New Leaf Inn. We'll discuss business tomorrow, so please sleep well tonight."





"Lord Riou, I'll come to get you in the morning. Until then, please have something to eat and relax."



"Are you really the leader of the Unicorn Army?"



Yeah, fuck off Chaco. Why can't I just beat the shit out of him?

"So that's the way it's gonna be? You're just like all the others, think you're too good to talk to us, just 'cuz we got wings. Well, thanks for dinner anyway. Heh heh heh."



"Lord Makai and Lord Ridley are fighting! Something about a Highland spy... Please hurry to the assembly hall!"



"I don't know whether it's the whole truth or not, but we can no longer afford to fight side by side with you humans. I see Lord Riou is here. I'm sure he's already allied himself with other humans. I will excuse myself now, my people need to prepare for the impending attack."

"Lord Riou, I'm ashamed that you've witnessed such an embarassing spectacle. Ridley showed up this morning and called me a traitor. He says he'll fight the Highlanders alone with only his Kobold Army... What will we do now? Why would Ridley do that? He knows the Highland Army is on its way here... Lord Riou, please go to Lord Ridley and find out what happened. We can't defeat the Highland Army without him."

"Let's go, Lord Riou, we haven't much time."



"Why would Ridley have a change of heart with the Highland Army so close? If I'm right, we don't have much time. We've got to hurry. Ridley is west of the river, in the Kobold district."



"But Lord Ridley is exactly who we need to talk to!"

"That's your -Bark!- problem."

"This isn't going to work. What are we going to do, Lord Riou?"





"Lord Riou! Did he get your wallet? Wait... my wallet... ... ...AH!! He got ME! Hurry, we've got to catch him! It's MY wallet that's on the line this time! That means war!"





Minor nitpick, but hey.!



"Huh? There's a passageway here? Oh no, my wallet... Let's go after him, Lord Riou. It's vital that I get my wallet!"

Boss Battle #6 - Pest Rat

Fuck this boss, too. Seriously, fuck this entire part of the game.



"Who are you!! Lord Riou and Fitcher. What's your business here?!"

"Huh? Well, you see..."



"Ah!! No, no, that's not... We... we came to see YOU, Lord Ridley! Please talk to us about what happened!"

"Even you, Lord Riou... I understand. I'll take you at your word, Lord Riou. Last night one of our patrols spotted a suspicious character. They gave chace, but unfortunately the person got away. But while running away, he dropped a secret communique between the Empire's (There it is again!) General Kiba and your Lord Makai."

"And what did it say?"

"It was a secret treaty. Did you know about this, Fitcher?"

"I don't know a thing. Remember, I'm still new here."

"Hmm, that's true. Anyway, the secret treaty was a peace agreement between Two River and Highland."

"That's great news. For us as well as them."

"What do you mean 'great news!' As a condition, the treaty gives possession of the Kobold District to those Highland scum!!!"

"That's ridiculous!! Lord Makai would never accept conditions like that!!"

"All I know is that I can no longer trust humans. I have nothing more to say. Now go away before you get hurt."



"You may be right. But what if you're wrong? As Kobold leader, my foremost duty is to protect my people. Just as your duty is to protect the Unicorn Army."

"Let's go, Lord Riou. We've got no time to argue."



Next Time: Chapter 24 - Mistrust (Also, fuck you Chaco)