Part 23: A mush of shrooms

Some days, Lazlo thinks he should just steal a dinghy and row for Toran. After all, what are the odds that he'll get picked up by named NPCs three times in a row? This time he's sure to either be eaten by sharks or finally reach a land that has no crazy political schemes, where no one has ever heard anything about a "cursed Rune".



But not today. His friends still need him, and so he seeks out the second best alternative: Dr. Mao, the man with a plan, who asks no questions and always prescribes something that lets him forget his dreary existence for a few hours.



Lazlo scarfs down the bitter mushroom, knowing he only needs to endure it for a few moments in exchange for hours of psychedelic bliss.



It does not take long before he realizes that something about this shroom is off.


The Mint Army is invading. At this rate, Mao's Mushrooms are going to be wiped out.
But... It'll be all right...
Because we have the 108 Mushrooms that have worked so hard together with Sir Lazlo... Hehe.

I don't really get it... We just have to fight, right?

Oh, oh, oh, oh... I shall assist you, as well.



Instead of the usual rainbow haze, Lazlo finds a vision of another time... another place... a better game...



Right now we have access to these guys.


Knights of Gaien - Charge Attack Level 10


Wild Geese - 6


Warriors of Light - 7


Spearmen - 3


Faithful - 10


Veterans - 6


Fishermen - 17


Young Pirates - 3


Happy-Go-Lucky - 3


Artisans - 6


Carpenters - 12

(The guy in the middle is Haruto, the last dude we picked up when the ship launched. He's so pointless I haven't bothered to introduce him yet.)


High Spirits - 6

(Best named team so far!)


Nay-Kobold - 4


Clever Crew - 11

Quite a bunch of fighters!



Then there are the archers...


Engineers - 10



...and the magicians.


Special Talents Team - 4

(He's special, all right...)


Musicians - 8

We don't have a lot of either of those.



Finally, the "Other" option. The mermaids are as y as we've come to expect, but we also have the old standbys...


Merchants - Merchant Attack


Ninjas - Spy on enemy


Thieves - Try to spy...

...which all do more or less what you'd expect if you're familiar with the first game.

Severely outnumbered, a handful of men under his command, Lazlo resolves to do the best he can.



By that, he means he's going to cheat like a motherfucker.

It looks like they're going to do an Arrow Attack.



Get them!



This... could be going better.



Sadly, unlike the original, we can only use each special option once, despite having a full set of ninjas. Bang, you're up!

It looks like they're going to do a Charge Attack.



I'm not!



No lightning bolts this time. Hell, I think I preferred the original's magic effect.





They lose 19200 guys from this. Maybe we can salvage this operation after all!



Sir Lazlo, we may be weak in the next turn. Well... I guess it's okay once in a while.

uh

lilin

what did you do

what



fuuuuuuuck



Well, let's have this guy give it a shot.



That did not go so well. Merchants, away!

Sir Lazlo, it looks like we were able to buy off some enemies.

They lose 10800 people! How much money did you guys spend?

...it was not enough to get them to join my side, though.



Alas, it was only a matter of time.



I'll say! Lazlo mumbles something along the lines that he doesn't remember eating that and excuses himself.



However, if there is one thing this vision has taught him, it is that he should lay off the shrooms for a while. Perhaps this fellow might offer an alternative?



You had your chance, mister.



Personally, I don't think mints are worth it. They would be nice if they required less effort and showed up earlier - I'd love for them to be buyable - but at this point, we have a lot of first and second level MP and not terribly much use for them. Third and fourth level MP, however, are in short supply and always useful.



Since we're fucking around on the boat already, this is the Ogre Mail. Two fucking crab shells, and... holy shit, +30 strength! Kooluk ain't gonna know what hit 'em.

Now we just need three more to complete the set.



And no cheating and taking the easy way out! You're going to beat on that crab like a man!

(I've lost count. This is what, the fifth time Lazlo kills himself with his third level spell so far? Sixth?)



Eventually, Lazlo just goes "fuck it" and orders the crew to set sail in a random direction. Alas, it is a bit too late to say "not THAT direction!" so here goes!



...well, okay, that wasn't so bad. He's worth 8000 potch! And a dragon scale I'm not sure I'll ever find a use for. Oh well, on with it!



Here is a random island. We should explore it.



Look at that background. Can you even see those sticks? Fuck you, Suikoden IV.



Fuck you



so very much.



Oh, and wouldn't you know it, this goes in our inventory, and then we need to go back to the ship to talk to Rene so she can analyse it so we can go back to the island we found it on and dig for it.



At least this time, it's not a complete waste.



I think the number of people who can use it is pretty small, though.



Next, we head north. I don't remember if I showed these things off. Those furballs will cast fire spells at you.



In return, I throw ninjas.



Lime Shelf Island is the place we just visited. And look where we're going! This could only end well, I'm sure.



The Middleport area has some new stuff in it. Well, I have Yu in my support slot so I just let the game auto-fire its way through this.



They were clever enough to foresee an attempt like this. I appreciate this kind of barrier a whole lot more than I do invisible walls, let me tell you!


We do not yet... have the means to prove your innocense, Lazlo...

Bah.



Right on the other side of the map, there's this.



Ah, I see you've gone straight back to being useless.



FFFFF



Wait, this is actually not shit!



...not great either, but not shit.



I'm sure that was just a fluke, though.



Sure was!



I'll use this for the rest of the game, just you wait.



MOTHER OF



FUCK



Pictured: a chest with better stuff than anything I've had to make an effort to find on this island. This is a rune which doubles money gained when worn - not too shabby if you have a slot over.



This is a shroom on steroids - it restores ALL MP.



Thank you so much, Rene.



Wait, what's this?



She actually found something unquestionably good! Be still, my heart!



I...



I take back everything bad I've ever said about you, Rene!



I mean it.



EVERYTHING.

The Champion's Rune prevents any encounters you would normally be able to release. Cyclone and Thunder are the higher orders of Wind and Lightning.

The Wind spells are as follows:

1: Wind of Sleep - Causes Sleep / all enemies
2: Healing Wind - Heals all HP and status of one ally
3: The Shredding - 300 damage / all enemies
4: Funeral Wind - 300 damage +25% death / 1 enemy
5: Shining Wind - 300 damage / all enemies, heals 500 HP / all allies.

(Wind uses 1-4; Cyclone 2-5.) This is probably the biggest upgrade of all the elemental runes. Wind of sleep is shit (oh, you thought I was going to use a status effect in a JRPG, that is so cute) and Healing Wind does the same thing as the Water rune's first level spell. Cyclone does away with the shit spell, moves the single target heal down to level 1 where it belongs, and adds one of my favourite spells in the series, Shining Wind. All in all, very nice rune.

As for the Lightning class:

1: Berserk Blow - 100 damage / all enemies
2: Thunder Runner - 300 damage / 1 enemy
3: Soaring Bolt - 600 damage/ 1 enemy
4: Furious Blow - 900 damage / 1 enemy
5: Heavenly Thunder - 1500 damage / 1 enemy

Berserk Blow is the odd one out for Lightning, very useful at lower levels, but it does fall behind pretty quickly. Heavenly Thunder is a massive upgrade over Furious Blow. Put the Thunder Rune on your designated lightning mage, and she'll be able to murder pretty much anything.

I'm still lacking the upgraded earth and water runes, but both Earth and Water have fairly useful first level spells and less useful fifth level ones, so I'm not all that excited about their "improved" versions.



Now let's use all this sweet loot to clean out Reinhold's place. As you can see, we spar against our own people. Unfortunately, they all cheat.



The first couple of rounds aren't too bad, but once you get up to the higher levels, they start getting access to really powerful magic (even if they suck at it normally!) which can fuck you over quite easily. A trick if there's someone you don't want to fight (your best mages, for instance) is to put that character in one of your ship parties - you can only fight characters who are not "otherwise occupied".



I'm feeling good about this!



Why? Because I'm going to cheese the fuck out of it.



There are basically two ways to deal with the training hall. Either cheat like a motherfucker by casting Silent Lake, the fourth level Water spell, which nullifies all magic for several rounds...



...or bring some speedy mages and do unto others before they do unto you.



(True Ninja Attack works quite well in here as well... at least when they don't screw it up.)



The first time you beat this challenge, you get this. It's the only one in the game, so treat it with care! And by that I mean put it on your hardest hitter straight away.



This is your prize for any further victories.



It's kind of like the Champion's Rune, except that instead of preventing encounters you can release, it lets you instakill anything you can release. A bit of a time saver, and you still get the money and items, but of course not encountering them in the first place is faster. It's also useless to have more than one. I really wouldn't have minded if they had this as your first prize and threw Fury Runes at you after that instead...



Just like previous games, some trade goods will suddenly come in demand in certain locations and their prices will go up. Hahahahahahahaha I knew hoarding all those pearls was a good idea.



Shopping spree! Fully maxed at 255 attack, fuck yeah!



Oh, and about that Thunder Rune...?



Yes.



And from one thing...



...to another, here's the icing on the cake. Full set bonus?



Permanent Berserk status. As if +43 STR wasn't enough!

Well, I think that's all the optional stuff we have available right now. Guess we'll just have to go take care of that plot stuff next!