Part 38: Plotheim Laserbach III

As usual under these circumstances, we simply can not refuse.



Lazlo runs up to the bow and does his best Street Fighter imitation...



...although since I turned his grunts off, we don't get to hear him yell HADAWKIN.



Wooden boats versus giant all-consuming death laser, round... oh whatever, I forget. Fight! Oh, it's already over?



And as usual, he faceplants when he's done. I could very easily make a tasteless and dirty joke about this, but I'm far too classy for that kind of shit.

I'm sorry we made you do this.

A little late now. One of you could have gone to drag Ted over here. I mean, we have one true rune that kills its user and one that doesn't.

Quickly, let's carry him to his room. Carry that side... That's it. Take it slow.

How about carry me to the god damn doctor we have on board? It's just a suggestion!



Why's that? It wasn't actually wrong.

Beep boop I am a robot ninja except when I'm not.



Akaghi has some trouble expressing himself.



Elenor doesn't even try.

Lazlo... I'm sorry.

Why can't you say that to my face



Elsewhere...

Uh... W-Well...

...Ramada is totally fucked.

Why have you returned? What makes you believe that I will welcome someone who purposely lost contact with me?

Well, I... I've been collecting all sorts of information, as a matter of fact.



Cray looks like something you'd find printed on a poster outside a sheriff's office in a spaghetti western with WANTED: DEAD written underneath.

Yes. That explains the lack of communication. I did not want to blow my cover. In return, if you will, I was hoping you'd make even better use of me.

Oh, I see...

The truth is I gathered quite a bit of valuable information regarding the Rune.



Look at that face! Ramada, you fool! Run for it! Run and never look back!



But he doesn't run, so he gets shot through the heart. Nice job, Ramada! Now you're going to die.

Ugh!!



Falling on your face is the new national sport of the island nations.

I can't wait to get out of here.



Cray has the whole cold-and-ruthless, you-have-failed-me-for-the-last-time villain thing down pat.



It's just too bad he's barely present for most of the game, because he's pretty cool when he does show up.


Take care of it...

There is a sound of beating wings...



Meanwhile, back on the boat,



...Elenor is trying and failing to interrogate Colton.

No comment.

The fleet that charged at us... Do you think that was at Cray's sole discretion?

I said, "No comment."

Very well...
Oh yeah, about your ships... We'll be putting them to good use, so don't worry about them.

Hmm...



We'd simply be wasting our time trying to persuade him. I can see the conviction in his eyes...

I'm not sure how she sees anything through the haze of-



-oh.

I see... I'm learning so much from you.

Don't go corrupting the boy, Elenor. I don't keep enough booze around to satisfy two winos of your calibre.



As for Lazlo, it's off to Runespace again, and this time there is only one thing to see...



We have been working our way through the rune's previous bearers in the order it left them. Finally, it is up to the last before us.



As always, the shadow does not resist.



I wasn't level 77 and wearing full Ogre gear last time we met, so yeah.



And that's it for Glen. Too bad, so sad, except no one cares.




During the whole scene here, Flare has stealth-joined the party, along with Setsu (who is still worthless). She's not very strong but quite crit-happy, fast and dodgy, reasonably good with magic, and she has a unite with Lino where they attack a single enemy together, as well as one with Ted and Lo Hak where they deal minor damage to all enemies. Not too shabby.



We have no idea what to do next, but fortunately there's a harbour nearby!



With a strange chick standing next to the dock.

S-Sure, but...

Good! Well, I hope we get along!!!

So do I!



Some aren't quite so enthusiastic, though.

Why can't I?! You're what I aspire to be! I can't wait to work with you!!

Alas, poor Wendel. No matter how hard you try, you will never be as useless as Nico.




Wendel is a curiously competent character, but I've never really used her because, well, that's what happens to people who join five minutes before endgame. Her magic is almost up to the same standards as the big elemental mages, she's faster than all but Ted, as dodgy as Warlock and while she's not exactly good at physical combat, she can manage reasonably well compared to the stick-wielding mages. She has threes in lightning and wind magic.





Also, some of the most... creatively named weapons in the entire game.

(Of course, that's still no reason to bring her over Ted if all you want is a good caster.)

I'll be on my way now. See you later...



I think Lazlo would appreciate that.



The townspeople seem no worse for wear...



...and in some cases they're better than we left them.

By which I mean "willing to join the party."

Hey, Mr. Lazlo... I want to come aboard your ship, too... May I? From what I've heard, apparently there's treasure to be hauled up from the pcean from time to time. I want to try appraising some of that treasure. Please let me come along!

Sure thing, but if Perrault starts pubishing novels about child molestation, I'm making you walk the plank and keelhauling you.

Of course, you will be welcome.

Really? All right! Let's go, let's go!!

Regretting that already.

Nabokov will do on the ship what he did in Obel, which is to make hideous amounts of money off my fishing.


Nabokov
Appraise - Identifies dropped antiques automatically.

He's also a support character, which is appropriate, but there's no reason to ever use him.



Then there's another support character. For this one, we need...

Carrie, you're okay.

...the doctor. _{I'm kind of expecting him to burst out singing at any time.}

Yes! And you too, Doctor... I'm so glad.

This is perfect! Come with us, since we're shorthanded. Mr. Lazlo, are you fine with that?

Yes, of course.

Pleasure to meet you. My name is Carrie, and I am Dr. Yu's assistant. Please ask me anything concerning medicines. Well then, please pardon me for now.

Don't worry, I won't.


Carrie
Healing B - Heals 11-15%of Max HP after every battle.

As one might expect, the assistant doctor is inferior to the actual doctor. This is one of those WHY recruitments - reversing the order might have made more sense.



AAAA-

oh wait it's just Gunter

Won't you join us?

Join you? What's this? Wow, the ship moored in that harbor, eh? All right! Very well. I shall also accompany you. This must be some sort of fate as well.

Well, you could call it that.


Gunter
Find Money C - Increases Potch found after battle by 15%.

Gunter is useless, and not the replacement for Basil I mentioned earlier. He can still play dice, but, well, we can murder giant enemy crabs for much more money much faster.



This guy is somewhat familiar, and he, too, requires you to bring Yu in order to recruit.

But there's nothing wrong wity you.

What?

In fact, you are even healthier than a normal person.

I am beginning to suspect that his support skill aside, Yu is kind of a terrible doctor.

That can't be! *cough* *cough*

*sigh* Then, how about this? Won't you join us aboard the ship? If you do, I will give you medicine.

I'll... get on... *cough*

Do that, and never let me see you again.




Shit, Trishtan, what the fuck are you doing with yourself? Strength and Magic both under 100? You're a tank, I get that, but the only reason I'd need you to tank is because enemies take extra long to die when you can't damage them!



Also. Yu.



I... I guess? I mostly fish and beat up crustaceans, but... occasionally bad guys, too!

I have a request... Won't you let my wife and I join your group as well? The villains that made this beautiful kingdom suffer must not get away with it!!



Ema, you'll come with me, won't you?

Yes, of course.

Sir Lazlo, please!!

Ugh... can't say no to them.

Yes, please come with us.


Ema
Healing C - Heals 10%of Max HP after every battle.


Gary
Healing: C - Heals 10%of Max HP after every battle.

Now we're getting really redundant!



In Lino's room, behind the throne, there's a furry waiting for us.

I was, umm... playing hide-and-seek. Yeah, that's it! I was playing hide-and-seek!

You will not blind me to your nefarious furry ways!

Do you expect me to believe that?

Wh-What? You wouldn't harm a cute Nay-Kobold girl like me... would you?

No, but I could hand you over to someone who would. I figure Gau might just eat you.

There's no way you're a Nay-Kobold!

I was scrounging inside the Royal Palace to see if there was anything good. I'm sorry... I haven't eaten anything in 3 days, so...

I'm not falling for that line.

Gotta keep those furries under control, man.

You're a pretty cautious guy. Okay, I've made up my mind! I'm coming with you!!

Wha

wait

no

why

why me



Oh god that face

You can also say you believe her and she'll basically laugh at you for being gullible... and join your party anyway.


Noah
Find Money A - Increases Potch found after battle by 30%.

Furriness aside, though, Noah is the best Potch generator in the game. If I'm ever going to grind for money again, she is going to be coming along.



The next recruit is hiding in the caves where we used to live.

No, no, no! I mean.... You're going to pay for what you ate at the Dappled Sunshine!

Dappamawhat now?

What? W-Wait a second!

You brought him for me, didn't you? THank you. I'll treat you to a meal sometime. Come on, let's go! Cedric!

Okay, I don't mind if you smack him about a bit but no one takes away my goddamn Stars of Destiny.

I'll pay for his bill.

...sadly, that entails losing money.

You're going to pay for him? There's interest on the amount he owes, you know. It's 5000 Potch now.

What. I'm thinking hiring a bounty hunter is going to cost more than that...

I'll pay.

Thanks for your business! Now, both you and I are free. You can go wherever you want, Cedric.

UM CORRECTION: He can go wherever I want.

I'm free!

I will harpoon you and nail you to the main mast if you try anything.

On second thought, maybe I'll come along too. It seems like it could be fun.

What?! I-I don't owe you any more money, right?

Hahaha! Don't worry. You're off the hook. I'm just going because I feel like it. Well, I'll meet up with you guys after I give this money to the client. See you later!

And, yeah, she takes 5k.




Rachel may remind you of a certain other red-headed spear-wielding bounty hunter. She even shares Camille's weapon, Garmr -> Fenrir -> Loki (although better spelled this time). The reference to the original Suikoden is obvious, but she's quite unremarkable apart from that. She has a unite with Eugene and Lino because spears. That's it, really.



Next up... dungeon revisits.

I would like to remind everyone that I did cheat horribly the last time, and this is indeed the point where you're supposed to obtain the Golden Hammer. However, having liberated it from the ruins previously, there is nothing of interest left inside.



Note the word: inside. This is the second optional boss in the game, and it's somewhat tougher than the giant enemy crab. However...



...you can just walk around it by hugging the wall instead of running straight into it.



This tosser is waiting by the old grave where we first found Rakgi and Rikie ("Who?" Yeah, I know, they haven't exactly done anything since joining.)

Why are you here?

So I an be alone... I don't like confrontation... Did you guys... want to talk to me?

We want you to lend us your strength.

I don't want any trouble... However... if you guys bring me the Slip-Through Charm... I'll think about it...

STOP. FUCKING. PUNCTUATING. Or we're going to have some very confrontational confrontation right here and now.

You have it? "Escape Talisman"? Prove it! Use it right now... Open it up from where it says "Items" and use it... Go on...

So not only is this ape breaking the fourth wall...



...he also just forced us to escape talisman all the way out of the fucking dungeon!



Good thing I knew about this and packed my Champion's Rune! Now, what was that about confrontations? I'll make this one brief...

You must be angry, rightfully so... Oh, all right... I'll lend you my help...

I don't fucking want it any more!




This guy has a stat block but I'm not going to show it because he is forever banned from the active party on charges of being a prick, a twat and an asshole all at the same time, which while impressive is not a marketable skill or one that will entice me to keep him around more than strictly necessary.

Meaning "at all".

As in, fuck this guy.

Then... I'll go on ahead...

Fuck. I need to beat on something big to work out all this aggression.



You'll do!



The Killer Golem has a much stronger hit-all attack than the crab did, and may actually pose a threat! Also, it drops diamonds and/or platinum (30% each) and 30000 Potch when killed. Eh.



Finally, we'll head to Mordo.

Merchant: I was looking out at sea the other day, when I saw... A person just floating in the ocean! Isn't that crazy?!

Sure, crazy. Whatever you say.



For this one, we need to sail straight east from Mordo until the island basically disappears off the minimap.



Wow, doesn't this scenario feel kind of familiar...?



What do you think?



Same thing we always do!



OFF



WITH



HIS



HEAD!



Snowe death count: III.



Bonus content:

I linked this in the actual update already, but this is the unedited version of the Rune of Punishment section, and you should probably watch it if you haven't already, because Cutscene Rune Of Punishment Usage.