Part 23: Even insolence should have limits!

While Frey rests (after totally not being an asshole to Lyon the night before), things are happening over by Sol-Falena.



The revolving bridge is... well, revolving! Also, you should listen to the music because it's pretty rad.



Gizel is finally putting his plan to invade Poland into motion.



Meanwhile, in Poland...

???: Last warning! I'm coming in.



Our crew has (sadly) reverted to their original outfits. The same music continues to play over this scene.

But they're saying the troops have already found us. They're heading this way now! Everybody is gathered downstairs. We have to go!

We're going! After we ask Lyon if she had anything else she wanted to say.

Forces are already in pursuit... Thankfully, it looks like Lord Barows was prepared for something like this!

We'll just have to go take a look.



Sialeeds has changed back, too, but Georg is still doing his best to look as little as possible like that knight who supposedly murdered the royal family.

Those nefarious Godwin troops have crossed the revolving bridge and they're advancing our way as we speak. Er... there apepar to be three hundred or so of them.

Only? I see our dear Gizel is underestimating me again.

Damn!

They sent a messenger this morning to inform us of the so-called reason for this advance. Apparently, they seek to "capture the felon Georg Prime," and "take custody of the Prince and Lady Sialeeds." The messenger also said that his orders came from Princess Lymsleia. They expect my understanding and full cooperation.

And I hope you know what you're doing because if you don't, well, it's not as if Georg's reputation could get any worse at this point.

Backstabbers! And they've got the guts to call someone else a "felon"?

Quite right! And they dare employ the sacred name of the Princess in such foul schemes!

And calling a three hundred-soldier invasion a "request" for cooperation... Even insolence should have limits!
Don't worry. The Barows family shall never capitulate to the threats of liars and blackguards! They dare to threaten us with force? Let them come, I say! Like men, we'll settle this on the battlefield!

You're speaking my language now. I may even have to re-evaluate my opinion on you!

You'll show those scallywags, won't you, Father?

...not you, though. Boo. Hiss.

But, err... there's just one thing... The tiniest of favors that I'd like to ask of you, Your Highness.

Actually, never mind. Out with it, you sleazebag.

Would you mind leading our forces into battle?

I

but

What? Such a rollercoaster of emotions!

Excuse me?!

Father?!

Don't misunderstand me. It's not as if I'm asking you to fight on the front lines, or any such thing. But don't we want the people to see what foul liars the Godwins are? That we are the true liberators who will crush the rebels and restore order and peace to Falena? Surely, the people will know the truth when they see the "kidnapped" Highness take arms against his false rescuers. Think of the boost to our soldiers' morale as well, to fight alongside one so great and noble as Your Highness.
Come now, Your Highness. I believe you'll find my reasoning is quite irrefutable.

You know what, I don't care what your reasoning is. You want me to slaughter Godwin's army? I'm on the motherfucker.

Why am I not surprised that Salum's plan involves someone else doing the fighting?

Yeah, but he's still got a point. And I don't think we're going to get a better offer anytime soon.

So, Your Highness, what do you say?



The rivers shall run red!

Just what one would expect of the son of His Majesty Ferid! I'm sure he'd be bursting with pride right now!

Prince...

Your Highness, I'll be your deputy commander! Don't worry. I won't let so much as a mosquito touch you! Ga ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Oh-ho, that's Lord Wilde for you! So wonderfully reliable.
Your Highness, are you prepared to go into battle right away?



LET ME

THE FUCK

AT THEM.

May victory be ours, Your Highness!

No. Mine. All mine. You can just sit back and watch.

Not that you were going to do anything else.

Prince! Let's go get 'em!



And so we shall. (music)



Normally this is where we'd get to arrange our units, but we suck right now, so we can't.

As a quick overview, Frey leads an infantry unit and Lyon is glued to his side as usual, Sialeeds leads a magic unit, and Boz has a spear unit, which is basically infantry but better. Finally, we have two generic infantry units, because we wouldn't want this to look like a challenge or anything. Blank slots are locations where you could normally put recruited characters (of which we have none because as previously mentioned we suck); slots marked with red are locked and cannot be changed.



As you can probably tell from the numbers on top, this battle is going to be very hard to lose. Unlike our first duel though, it can allegedly lead to a game over if you get Frey killed.


But sometimes justice is three feet of sharp steel smashing in your face. Now, let's go get 'em!

Boz gives our generic dudes a pep talk before it begins.

Soldiers: *cheering*

All units, CHAAARGE!!!

Soldiers: *battle cry*

It seems to have been quite effective.



And we're off! Sort of.



The enemy force is made up of three units: two infantry, and this guy who's completely useless.



Before we're allowed to start, Boz has a few tips for us.

Your Highness, lemme give you a quick overview of what you're gonna face on the battlefield! Your units are can basically be divided into three types: infantry, cavalry, and archers. Infantry are effective against archers, archers against cavalry, and cavalry against infantry. Remember that!

Because the first thing you want to do when you see a bunch of foot soldiers with pointy sticks is to run your horses straight into them.

You'll wanna confront enemy units with the type of unit that's gonna deal the most damage. That's the key! There are also other types of units, but we're only dealing with the basics in this battle!

...But never fear! With me at your side, there's nothing you aren't gonna be able to handle! Ga ha ha ha ha!

Boz.



And then, we're finally going to get to kill some dudes.



Large scale battles in Suikoden V take place in realtime, but they pause while you're in a menu. I'm not too fond of them, personally. They are, of course, infinitely better than Suikoden IV's miserable attempt, but they're still worse than Suikoden II's (which in my opinion are as close to a playable SRPG system the series has ever got outside of the actual SRPG) and I'd have to say I had more fun cheating at RPS in the first one, too.

You'd think after what they accomplished with Tactics, the team would have been able to accomplish something exceptional here, but... eh. War battles in V get clusterfucky and they also have some bugs and/or annoying "features" I'm sure we'll see more of later. For now though, let's just charge. The enemies are terrible, and the only way you're dying here is if you do something really retarded like trying to solo the map with Frey's unit without using any skills, and I'm still not entirely convinced that it's possible.



When two units collide...



...you get a shot of them running at each other...



...and exchanging blows.



After a bit of that, the losing unit runs off so you can't just engage them over and over until they're all dead.

I definitely see the reason behind it, but this is the worst fucking thing, as you can't access the menu while they're running, and they can run in any random direction including through other units - even hostile ones.



These guys decide to run straight into another of my infantry units and get their butts whupped, and then, naturally, they run away again.



This time they ram themselves into Boz, who turns them into mincemeat, because he's the Boz.



Boz has one of our two special abilities in this fight: Charge. Charge lets you deal 20% of the enemy's max HP without taking any damage in return. The percentage based skills are a weird decision given it makes them stronger based on how good your opponent's unit is, as opposed to your own, but that's how it works.



It looks a bit different than the regular attack, too.



But Boz doesn't need that to deal with a unit he's strong against. They go down in the next clash.



This is pretty embarrassing for the Godwin army.



You can sort of see Frey at the point of this wedge. So much for not fighting on the front lines! Well I suppose once we run stright through the enemy lines and turn around again, it'll be the rear line.



Naturally, they run straight through my units towards Sialeeds.



Sialeeds says "fuck you."



Cyclone hits the enemy for 30% of mHP without allowing them to counterattack, and heals the user for 50% of theirs. It is quite good, but tends to be in limited supply precisely for that reason.



This time they run off towards Rainwall. I wanted to let Frey get the last shot in but



(music)

So anyway, if you do well enough at this, you get a "victory plus" instead of a normal victory. This is basically the S-rank from Suikoden Tactics except worse in every way. (Much like everything else about Suikoden V's major battles.) I don't have any exact calculations for this, but in my experience this is more about how quickly you win, less about how efficiently you do it; several times, I've played a map twice, once where I tried to protect my units and minimize casualties and one where I just said fuck it and allowed them to die like flies, and got the + only for the second run. It's backward as hell and I don't like it.



Just like in Tactics, it nets you a bonus of some kind, such as a new formation in this case. I'm not sure it's even possible to not get victory+ in this battle.

You also get a certain amount of money for winning, but it's reduced based on how many people you lose in the process.



Anyway, the people of Rainwall are suitably impressed at our glorious curbst... I mean battle.



You guys have any idea how long it's going to take to get that confetti cleaned up?



And of course Salum is his usual charming self.



Meanwhile Frey is all "I never asked for this!"



Salum gives no fucks.

Falena is about to be undermined by the evil ambitions of the ever-so-despicable Godwins! But with the divine guidance of the sun, His Royal Highness the Prince has come to stand before us!! And in the name of our Prince, let us join together and fight for the liberty of Falena!!



Pictured: highly varying amounts of Buying Into Salum's Shit.

We must deal a crushing blow to Godwin, who murdered our Queen and the Commander of the Queen's Knights!!


We shall restore our beloved homeland to all its former glory!!



(music)



"What the hell have I got myself involved in...?"







---



Meanwhile, in Sol-Falena... Gizel has replaced all our old guards with his own dudes.



Also, he's now on his daily puppy-kicking rounds.



(music)



Ah, you seem to be feeling a litle more spirited. I'm glad to see that.

Stop it! You're giving me the creeps!

I was about your age when I lost my mother. I shut myself up in my room and cried for days. Compared to that, you're very brave.

How can you talk to me like that?! YOU'RE the one who took my family away!

Ah, speaking of your family... His Highness the Prince has fled to Rainwall. He's teamed up with Lord Barows and formed an army, it seems.



Princess!

Now that Frey is fighting back, you guys are doomed!


So you'd better give up right now, while you still can!

Tsk, Princess... It's not appropriate for you to be pleased like that. We're talking about a rebel army that intends to revolt against the Falenan royal family, you know.

Rebel army?! What are you talking about?! YOU'RE the rebel army!

Ah, an unfortunate misunderstanding. I am your loyal subject, Princess. Furthermore, I am also your fiancé. And soon... I will also be serving you as the next Commander of the Queen's Knights.

WHAT?!

I have no tolerance for those who would rise up against you, Princess. Not even your own brother.
In the name of our next Queen, Lymsleia, I vow to eliminate all dissenters.
...By any means necessary.



Things are going to start getting interesting...


Bonus Content:

In an alternate universe where Frey is considerably less awesome...



...he has just turned down Salum's offer to lead the troops, because are you kidding me? You want to put a teenage boy with no military training whatsoever in charge of actual soldiers? Do you hate your employees that much?!

Why, Your Highness... Don't worry. It's only natural to feel nervous before a fight. Why I imagine that our soldiers feel anxious, too. But think how they'll feel with you fighting beside them! They'll be filled with such strength and courage!

They'll be filled with arrows! And spears!

Father! Don't put so much pressure on him.

No, pressure is where he pushes me over and sits on me. That's pressure.

Stay out of Daddy's business, Luserina!

I wanted so badly to say something about that line, but I just. No.

Well then, Your Highness, you've heard my thoughts on the matter. May I entrust my troops to you?



Don't wanna.

Hmm... I understand. It might've been a bit hasty of me to ask you to make such a big decision right away. Why don't you take some time to think about it? I imagine we have SOME time before the soldiers overrun our city. And my soldiers will be risking their lives for your benefit. But I understand if you're afraid to fight for yourself.

You'll get yours eventually, you smug fuck.