Part 42: I Am Not Nearly Drunk Enough To Deal With This Shit

The masses have spoken, and our new castle has a name! (music)



I'm detecting a theme here. Clearly, we're the spiciest army in all of Falena.

Really? I liked "Sindar Castle" myself.

You like a lot of stuff no one else understands, so no surprises there.

Boooooooooooring!

You're such a little tyrant sometimes, you know that?

She's the most adorable little tyrant.

???: What nonsense is this?

Zweig and Lorelai come strolling in from off screen.



We're going with "Castle of the May Sigh"--



The most adorable little tyrant.

Please, please, you guys! This is no time to be fooling around!

I dare you to come up with a better time to fool around than right after a major victory against Nazi Germany and obtaining a curiously clean castle that may or may not originate in the depths of R'yleh.

Except the final victory celebration. That doesn't count.

Come, Prince. Enough of these trivialities.

Your mother's a triviality

Did you find something, Zweig?

Indeed. A room. And I need the Prince to assist with further inspection. It's up one floor.

I guess I'll go, too.

Count me in as well!



Don't tell me we're back to this again



Anyway, the usual rounds.

I wish we'd gone with "Castle of the May Sigh Shimmering on the Pale Blue Water"...

By sheer coincidence, this is being written in May and you are making me sigh, but the water isn't exactly "pale" so it still doesn't fit. Get over it.

Salzburg Castle? Well, it beats "Mohawk Head Castle"! Ga ha ha ha ha! Yeah, that was pretty stupid!

...I thought it was cool, but our little tyrant disagrees.

Speaking of whom...

Prince, let's go take a look at the room Zweig discovered!

...she's telling us to go do the last thing we want to do. Hey, wouldn't you want to go explore your neat old space alien castle first?



Here's just outside the hall we were just in. This room isn't very important.



Out the door is a very unsafe looking location, but the view is nice... I guess. We don't have any camera control to find out.



On the other side...



...there's a cat.



Back inside and out to the left, past this obvious elevator space mysterious door which we cannot currently open...



...there's a staircase leading down to the second floor.



Complete with everyone's old favourite, the comment box!


Oh, I get it! So I write something in this box, and Your Highness reads it?
You know, it's hard to talk to a Prince face-to-face. I guess you probably knew that...
...So it's nice of you to set this up for us. Thanks, Your Highness!

Boz will be Boz.


They say my grandfather has joined the group! Now I'm gonna have to work extra hard!

"They say"...? He's standing right next to you. Maybe you should borrow Zweig's glasses.


I've come up with the perfect costume for Your Highness!
(There's a drawing here that looks just like a Holly Elf...)

...the fuck you say?



Inside the door, Frey has a room all to himself, which we can decorate with various items we pick up. Next to the bed, we can put a plant; I had a generic "potted plant" already, but there will be more.


W-What if there are m-m-monsters hiding inside somewhere?

Then we beat them up and take their stuff! Come on, you've been here long enough to know how this works by now.

When the ruins were activated, the water drained out of Ceras Lake, right? There's only one explanation for something so amazing: gears! Lots and lots of GEARS!

I don't need that kind of power... I just hate Gears- wait sorry, I confused myself with another protagonist for a bit.



Lucretia has an overly fancy room all to herself, and also Lelei.

Designating this place as headquarters for the Iodine in Hell Army was an excellent choice, Your Highness.
Oh? It was Lyon's idea?

The name was all my doing, though.



Sialeeds and Georg also get their own rooms here, but Sialeeds is in our party currently and Georg is off doing who knows what, so they're both empty. There aren't many rooms like this around the place, so I'm not sure where we keep the troops...



The first floor is where all the stores and other services will set up shop. We already have a good amount of them, but we're missing a few, like a tutor, armourer, smith and rune sage.



Viki is down here, too.

Or does it? Gee, maybe I'm just imagining things...

Curse you Oboro, work harder!

Anyway, this place is great! Perfect! A really fantastic castle!
Oh, that reminds me! I wanted to give you something!



FUCK YEAH

You can use that to come back here in a flash, no matter where you are!
Well, if you go TOO far away, it won't work, but... it should be all right anywhere in Falena.

Viki lies; it can only be used on the world map, but that is more than awesome enough.

Oh! And there's only one of those, so be careful with it, okay?

Anyway, the Blinking Mirror is much the same as it's always been. Using it returns you to the big one next to Viki, for free, an unlimited number of times. It will be a tremendous help.


In fact, the only person I've seen him have a real conversation with is you, Prince.

That's because I'm awesome.

This place is where our tutor will hang out, once we've got one. Anyway, to continue the tour...

Oh, Prince! What an amazing castle this is! You're getting more and more allies, I see. And I imagine they'll be needing this and that... And some more of this!

My grandson Shinro's set up shop as well. It'll be tough competing with him! Ho ho ho!

Yeah, because you totally sell the same stuff, right?



Oh, all right then. Just this once. To celebrate.

You just wait and see, Prince! I'm gonna make this the best item shop in all of Falena! With my trusty abacus at my side, I'll be the best merchant in the land! Believe it!

You saw Shinro's shop when we came down the stairs, so he doesn't need a screenshot.

As usual in Suikoden, our tame store owners will sell everything we've found in shops outside the castle. Shinro has all the consumables and accessories. It's already a decent collection and will only look more impressive as the game goes on, but I'm missing someone who sells protective gear.



And of course Zegai is down here as well. Thanks, buddy, I thought so too!


With people like that, what good am I doing guarding this entrance?

We can't exit from the first floor, since it's half under water, so we have to go out from the second floor.

Lookin' at you in a big castle like this, I can believe you're a Prince, ya know? Uh, oh, not that you didn't seem like a Prince before, or anything...

That kinda hurts.

Whoowee! This is one fancy castle you got here, Prince! Makes that Barows place look like an outhouse! Ha-ha! Who woulda thought a guy like me'd be livin' in such a classy place?

I don't see why you're so surprised. You're the kind of guy who can accomplish anything.



There are exits on both sides, one here and one if you go past Logg, but right now...

Prince, let's go take a look at the room Zweig discovered!

...our resident tyrant will turn us back around if we try to use them.


I find myself quite fond of it!

Still, there's more castle to explore!



This will be our inn, once we track down goddamn Marina or something.

A majestic abode indeed, Your Highness! I feel almost at home surrounded by these finely-constructed stone ramparts. Reminds me of living in a cave. In a rather comforting way, I'm disconcerted to say.

What, you aren't going to allcaps at me at all today? Boring!
However, if we talk to him again...

Your Highness. For generations, the Aethelbald family has passed down this simplified war game, played on a board. There are three variations of the game, each simple, yet profound. Please, give it a try if you have some time!

I do have some time! (music)



Like the man says, he has three different varieties and I won't be spending much time with any of them.



They look something like this. You can take back a certain number of moves every game (shown on the lower right) and each one comes in a couple of different difficulty levels. This song plays during the games, with the previous one in the menus.


It'll take a lot of work to revise the maps, but I'm up for the task!

With that, we've finally seen everything of interest in the castle at this point. So, let's do plot. The theme from the sealed room plays up here, unlike the rest of the castle.

The acoustics here are just magnificent! Ah, I must hold a performance here! First, I need to gather more DoReMi Elves, though.

But the interesting thing...



...is the door to Takamu's right.

Observe.



There's one here, too?



It knows we're here...



They're communicating! Plotting my inevitable demise!



AAAH what

watch this



A city that doesn't look like any we've ever seen-



A strange light in the middle of the night-



I know where this is goi



HOLY CRAP



But the light does not fade.



Grainy Sindar cellphone footage taken by someone who was suddenly very happy they decided to go hiking that very day?

You saw it, too?

Yeah...

What the hell was that?!

I don't know... Perhaps something left behind by the Sindar...
Was the Dawn Rune showing us some sort of vision?

It looked like the light from the Sun Rune...

Could it be? This is... similar to the writing sin a certain ancient tome.
Long, long ago... even before the arrival of the Sindar, a mighty dynastic nation held power in this land.
Blessed by the Sun Rune, the dynasty was prosperous beyond compare. But one fateful day, their King went insane.
His madness caused the Sun Rune to go berserk, destroying everything in its path. The nation was obliterated.

Obliterated? You mean...

...Exactly like that vision we just saw?



Oh, as if I didn't have enough problems! (music)



You're seriously beginning to get on my nerves.

Who is this lady in black?

I don't know, but she keeps barging in whenever Runes are nearby!

I hate to admit it, but it seems that the Dawn Rune chose you by no mere twist of fate. I have decided to remain here and... observe the situation more closely. I trust you have no objections.

HAHAHAHAHA

oh wait

you were serious

of course I have fucking objjhsdkgdsghhasdg



Yeah! That!



And also that!

...Zerase.

...Zerase? What's a "Zerase"?

Let me it look up here real quick

it says "insufferable bitch"

but I think that's putting it mildly

My name is Zerase. I will explain NOTHING beyond that.



But what are y--

And you two over there, listen to me: I will say nothing of the Sindar. And I will say nothing of these ruins and what you witnessed here today.

Lucretia

I'm sorry

I used to think you were annoying

but now I have seen the light

you are nothing compared to this

nothing



Yeah, and I'm not too happy about it.

No! I can't allow someone like you close to the Prince! You've threatened to KILL him before, remember?! It's my sworn duty as a bodyguard to protect His Highness! You'll come no closer!

If I wanted it, he would already be dead. As would you, my dear. His death was not the proper course of action.
...Indeed, quite the opposite. I think it may even be possible for me to... help you.



GET OUT

Your will is of no consequence. You have no choice but to let me join you.

How dare you address the Prince that way! I told you, stay away form him!

Lyon! Please, quit trying to be the hero here!

She's going to do whatever she wants, no matter what we say. Besides, it's better to have Miss Crazy Druid Lady out in the open than always sneaking up on us, right?

I detest your choice of words. Nonetheless, you are correct.

ffffFFFFF!

Uh, thanks... I guess.

You ARE going to tell us what you know at some point, right?

I will tell you ONLY what is necessary, and ONLY when the time is right.



you're fucking kidding me

Well, it doesn't sound like the time's right yet.
I suppose I'll study this room a little longer, if you don't mind.

Mind if I join you?



I need a drin- no fuck that, I need all the drinks and we don't even have a fucking inn yet. Lyon, find me some booze. It's an order and you'd do well to obey it as my bodyguard because I need it to live.



An undisclosed number of bottles later...

You'd best see the scholar about that. My hands are full enough as it is.

You're no help. Next!

Ruins that respond to the Dawn... Rune?

Sorry, but that's just a little more than my ol' brain can handle! Ga ha ha ha ha!

Let me tell you something, Boz.

There are times when "being Boz Wilde" just isn't enough.

This is one of those times.

Shut up.

Zerase...? Really, Prince, the strangest people seem to be drawn to you...



...

Fuck this shit with a sledgehammer. I'm going to bed.





Pictured side by side for contrast: the best and worst characters in the game.