Part 52: Legs, don't fail me nooooooow!

Last time, Frey beat up a cosplayer (and did certainly not get his butt handed to him with bonus permanent brain damage or anything).



This duel also marks the first appearance of a super move. Super moves are like special moves with more special in them. The difference is first and foremost that they get a different animation and deal more damage, but they also outright beat your regular special move. This can be somewhat annoying if you're trying to show off the double KO animation or something, but if you're playing the game normally, you're probably guarding anyway, so no harm done.



Yes, we pounded him so hard he lost his wig.

Ack!

Boy, lost any dignity I got left... Well, I gave my word. Go ahead! Kill me! Do whatever you want with my corpse!

The fuck's up with that grin? You know you're a recruitable character, don't you?!

???: Wait, Roy, wait!



The two losers we beat up five minutes ago come running in and yeah I don't know what they were thinking with those names.

Faylen: We couldn't just leave ya here, Roy!

Hell, never mind the name, what were they thinking letting us fight them?

Wait! Prince, listen! Roy was put up to this! They wanted to -- oh, how did they say it? Oh, yeah! They wanted to "sully the Prince's name"!

I'd be like, "No, my name is literally Failing so I'm not going to go up against people with portraits, just walk on by."

"Sully the Prince's name"? Who the hell talks like THAT...?

A lot of people? I even did it like two updates ago and I didn't remember the way they worded it. Most be some thing.

Tell me! What diabolical force is behind this plot?! Who dares to smear His Highness' name so?!

Yeah, it's not as if we have enemies or anything!

Faylon: Um... Can't remember the guy's name, but it was some young noble guy who hates the Prince real bad! A real big-shot!

That narrows it down then.

...No, it couldn't be!

Well, I guess that explains where they got "sully the Prince's name"...

No grudge is worth such a nefarious scheme! That boy is truly without honor!

That's right! He's the bad guy here, so cut Roy some slack! I'm begging you, Prince!

An' besides, look! We ain't even touched the loot! We'll give it all back, honest!

Enough. Forget it, guys!



It's just like the girl said. I wanted to do this. It doesn't matter if I was put up to it!
Hey, Prince! I'm expectin' a big-time execution and all, after bein' caught by the man himself, ya know! I was ready to die from the start, anyway! C'mon, Prince! Finish me off! What're ya waitin' for?!

Okay then!



nah just kidding, we get points for the other one.

Really?! You're gonna spare Roy?!

Besides, they wouldn't let us anyway.

Good choice, Frey. Besides, these... lowlifes can still be of use to us!

(music)

Listen to me! Can you get in touch with that clueless fop?

...Clueless fop? Uh, you mean the noble guy who dresses all frilly, right? Yeah, we know where he is!

Hmmm... I've got an idea.

...You all may live, but you've got to do exactly as I tell you! Understood?

Of course, of course! Just tell us what to do, lady, and we'll do it!

...Well, I did say they could do whatever the hell they wanted to me.

I'll do anything to save Roy! Anything!

All right, then. Let's head back to Sable, everyone.

Uh... Lady Sialeeds?

What exactly do you have in mind, Lady Sialeeds?





...I'm going to expose that clueless fop for exactly what he is.

Sounds like it's something to look forward to!

Roy and his flunky failures force themselves into the party (and as a consequence, force us to drop three people who do not suck), but it's okay because we're not doing anything else here. The chest has a Cyclone Piece. I can't complain.

I'm not sure what Lady Sialeeds has in mind, but if he needs to be punished, I'll gladly lend a hand!

I don't trust you. You haven't even slapped Roy yet!

Anyway, escape scroll.



We can only hope.

Sentinel (2): What?! So it was all a ruse? The bandit's really not a bandit?! S-sorry! I had no idea! I'm a failure as a sentinel...

And as a human being, don't forget!



Back to Sable, on the double. I want to see Sialeeds' fiendish plan in action.

Heh! Those little buggers sure do look familiar!

You've captured the bandits! Wonderful! You're really something, Your Highness! And General Dinn! Thank you greatly for assisting His Highness! I'm sure this could not have been done without you.

No, my Lord. I take none of the credit. It was all His Royal Highness the Prince's doing.

I'm pretty sure Dinn would have said the same thing if we'd actually been using him, but we didn't so it's nothing but the truth.

All right, let's hurry up and show the people! That'll prove that the Prince is--

Whoa, whoa! Hold on!

You don't know the whole story. These kids were put up to this!

Put up to it?! By who?

Ah, surely someone trying to keep His Highness and Sable from forming an alliance! What diabolical genius!

I... er... somehow doubt it. The person behind this isn't smart enough for that. But we still have to expose him if we want to clear up this mess!

Understood, Lady Sialeeds.

I have the perfect plan, so I just need everyone to bear with me!

In that case, I have no objection.

Thanks a lot.

Well, I suppose you'll need somewhere to house them in the meantime. Everyone must be quite tired as well. Use my residence as you please, Your Highness.

Why couldn't you have been a Star of Destiny?



We're free to wander around before getting on with it, but we don't particularly need anything right now.

I gotta lousy feelin' about this... Like maybe the person pulling the strings is someone I know...

If this were a smarter character, I'd wonder of this line was an intentional attempt to say "I know what's going on" without revealing anything about it, but it's Boz so.

You must be exhausted. Please feel free to use my mansion. A room has been prepared for you on the second floor.

And...



...so it has.

Sorry, guys! I'm sure that this is gonna be hard on you for--

Wow, I never SEEN a room this nice! Cool!

Me, either... So awesome!





I'll have separate rooms prepared for Your Highness, Lady Sialeeds and Lady Lyon.

If Frey weren't a silent protagonist, he'd say "thanks", but he is so he just nods instead.



Some time later...

Townsman: I dunno! His Lordship said somethin' about "revealing the truth"... Whatever that means!

I think we have gathered damn near every living soul in Sable for this. Quite an audience, for a shithole town in a JRPG!

Townsman: Well, I'm lookin' forward to it, whatever it is!

As usual though, they kind of flow together after a while.

Okay, this is it! Remember the plan!

Plan?

Right!

...there's a plan?

Um... I must apologize in advance, my Lady. I lack any experience executing a scheme such as this.

Why hasn't anyone told me the plan?!

...Uh, a little late to tell me now, don't you think? C'mon, you can do this, Dinn!

Yes, my Lady! I shall not fail you!

All right, here goes nothing!

No. No, no, no. Here goes everything.



Watch the goddamn video



Sialeeds is probably the best actor of the lot.



And she's enjoying the hell out of this.



Lyon is helping!



This scene has the best damn expressions.



Suddenly, it's Euram Barows again!



God fucking damn it.

People of Sable!! I am here, so have no fear!


I can't believe you've allowed yourself to sink so low, you mean, despicable fellow!! What would your poor, dead parents think of you now?!! I will not let you besmirch the name of Falena's royal family any further. So just wait right there, or beware!!




Aaaaaghhh!

???: Master Euram!!

What is he doing?

Uh... I don't know, beats me...

???: M-Master Euram! Are you all right?!

???: O-Of course I'm not all right!! Why didn't you guys hold me up like you were supposed to?!

???: But... you slipped! It wasn't our fault...

???: Quiet! I've heard enough! Now, come on!!



Euram limps out, shooing off his attendants.


At last, the time has come to punish this atrocious fiend of a prince!



Oh shit! Who the hell let Euram have a sharp object?!



Frey's life is suffering.



Suffering, I say!



And then Euram attacks us.

This isn't actually a good place to be in since Lyon has the Fortune gear on, which is not very strong, and Frey is wearing a dress, which is not very strong either.



Liberal First Ray spam! Because using the Dawn Rune as much as possible in this fight only makes it dumber. Oh yeah, and speaking of dumber!



The Failure siblings have a unite.



"Oh, I guess my idiot brother is going to use me as a living missile again. Not like it's gonna hurt or anything. "



Miraculously, it actually doesn't hurt, although it does unbalance. Not too shabby damage for a couple of losers with first level weapons.

I've left the fight in the video (you did watch it, right?) but feel free to skip it. It does show Brotherly Love and the second level Dawn Rune spell in proper motion, though.



I Dawn Runed you right in the face, you pointless bag of ruffles! How have you not caught on yet?

You were supposed to lose on purpose and then beg me for forgiveness! This is all part of the plot to sully the Prince's name, remember?

I'm sure glad you haven't learned anything about keeping that big flapping gob of your shut after the last time it ruined everything you'd been working for!



Hey Euram! Remember this?

Wait! The... Dawn Rune? That must mean... you're the real... Oh, no... I've been...

I can't even feel sorry for you.

Townsman: Real? Real what?

Master Euram, you make little sense. And who is this "Roy" you speak of?

Oh, uh... "Roy"? No, no, no! I was expressing "joy" at catching the Bandit Prince red-handed! Yes, yes, that's it!

Perhaps the young master is referring to THIS gentleman? Come, Roy!



Hello there.



Two princes you say...?

Aw, great...

What, you don't like 90s alternative rock?

Yep, that's him! I'm positive! He's the guy who asked me to dress up like the Prince and act like a bandit! It was him, everybody! It was him all along!

Roy's "prince" portrait bugs me a bit. His head is really huge compared to most other characters. It's like he's leaning in to rub his cheek against the camera.

...Damn you, Prince!

Townsman: ...Ah, NOW it's all clear!

Townswoman: The whole thing didn't make any sense in the first place! The Prince has all the gold and jewels a guy could ever want!

Townsman: We've been had! First Lord Salum Barows, now young Master Euram Barows! What is WRONG with that family?!

Townswoman: Their frilly clothes must cut off the oxygen to their brains!

Townsman: I feel like givin' a no-good noble a good ol'-fashioned POUNDIN' right about now!



Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! This is an even better show than I'd imagined!

...Lady Sialeeds? This was all... your doing?!

You got it! ...Oh, by the way, do you recall the last thing I said to you? If it weren't for Luserina, I'd tear you limb from limb? Ring a bell?
...It looks like the crowd would be more than willing to give me a hand, don't you think?

Nooooooo! I'm soooorry! Forgive me!
...Legs, don't fail me nooooooow!



Townsman: After him! Pound the frills offa him!



And then Euram ran away with the entire population of Sable in hot pursuit. Ah, we've done good work today.



We're now free to look around Sable again, and as you'd expect, the townspeople have changed their tunes considerably.

Townsman: I... I'm so sorry! Please forgive me!

Ah, hell, it was the funniest thing I've seen since Miakis threatened to throw him in the river, so I'm in a good mood today. You're forgiven!



As long as you don't do it again!

Old Townswoman: Of course, I believed in you all along, Your Highness. Ha ha ha! I always knew there was no way the son of Queen Arshtat and Commander Ferid could be some lowlife bandit!

I'd tell you to pat yourself on the back, except you seem to have already started.


Lord Solis and General Dinn trusted you, so we should have, too!

That's the dumbest reason ever. You should have trusted me because I was in Lelcar during Boz's little screwup!



I'll bring him back in one piece. Two at the most.

Old Townsman: It seems like everyone's satisfied now. What a relief! Sable won't have to fight on its own after all!

...that's all he's worried about? What about my good name?

Sentinel: The idea of being taken in by that rogue's trickery! It's too shameful for words.

Yes. Shame on you. Shaaaame.



Your mother's a bandit.

Boy: Mommy got mad at me for callin' you a bandit... But she was callin' you even worse things! No fair!

Sorry kid, but it's about time someone told you your mother's an adult in a JRPG...



And that's all of interest right now, so we'll head on back to the plot. (music)

How could the heir to the illustrious House of Barows commit such a shameless act?

Hmph! After all this, I don't think I'd say they're too "illustrious" anymore! Stealing the Dawn Rune, plotting to usurp the throne, hatching a "Bandit Prince" scheme...

Indeed. Conduct unbecoming of nobility to be sure.


Why has out nobility rotted to the core...?

...Uh, present company excluded, of course!

It's okay! I know what you mean!

Indeed. This only renews my vow to never become corrupted by the vices of men.
I must offer my sincere gratitude, Prince Frey. Thank you so very much.



The choices in this part affect the recruitment of Roy's flunkies. We've been picking all the "right" ones so far.

On the contrary, Your Highness! You save the people of Sable by revealing the truth. Had Sable turned against Your Highness, we would have been isolated. We'd have been fair game for Armes or the Godwins.
Dinn, you'll go with His Highness, will you not?

Absolutely, my Lord! I would be honored to serve under a man as fine as he!

Excellent. I expect you to do everything in your power for His Highness!

At your service, Your Highness.

*nod nod*



And that's another one down.

You mean I get to fight alongside Dinn again? Nothing like a good friendly rivalry! Ga ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

The honor is all mine, Lord Wilde.

???: Hey!



Oh, right!

Well, considering how the townspeople feel, we really should punish you.

Wait! Whaddaya mean?! You said you'd pardon us!

Hmph! Nobody ever said anything about a "pardon"!

...However, would you be willing to act as Prince Frey's double, Roy?

His double? Ya mean to fool people into thinkin' I'm the Prince, for strategy an' all that stuff?

...But what about her? She said I don't look nothin' like the Prince!


Well, you look enough like him to serve as his double. Most people don't know the Prince as well as I do...

That so, sweetie? Hmph! Yer still not makin' sense, but whatever!

I know I ain't in the position to bargain, but I gotta ask fer just one thing! Please let these two go! Then I'll be your double or whatever else ya want!

Roy?!

No, don't do it!

Shaddup! Don't forget who's the boss around here!
How 'bout it, Prince?



Thanks, guy. They didn't deserve none of this, anyway...

And that's Roy recruited.


That's all I ask of ya!



If you pick the "wrong" options here, they'll just be like "okay " and then you'd have to pick them up by their lair and help them return the loot.

Uh, Faylen?

Roy! If you're goin' with the Prince, then I'm goin', too!

I was going to show it off, so I picked the other lines and ran off to the mountains, but as I may have mentioned already, you can only recruit NPCs when you're between missions, and finishing up in Sable doesn't count as finishing the mission, so they weren't there.

Me, too! Me, too!

Can't get rid of ya guys, can I?

So I just went "fuck it" and decided it probably wasn't that interesting anyway.

Well, I don't see why not. We could use as much... enthusiastic help as we can get! Right, Frey?

And Frey nods again.

...Really?! Yay!

Prince! We're gonna do our best for ya! We're gonna make it up to ya for workin' woth that frilly guy!

Man, is this really happenin'?

Ah, whatever...

The two of them recruit themselves.



And we're done! Except for the reporting back to the castle, which will formally end the mission. That, however, will have to wait until next time.


---

Oh, and by the way, turning down Roy's offer to duel you in the previous part...


Well, lucky for you... I suddenly got the urge to beat a rich boy senseless!!



...doesn't go over well, and also doesn't get you any points with anyone (which also means we can't recruit the Failures the easy way).

I don't think anyone expected more, though.