Part 92: Storming Stormfist
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What are you lazy buggers just standing around for? Butts in gear this instant, we're going to Stormfist!
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Everybody: *cheering*
We can't actually hit them with everything we have. There's not nearly enough room.
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As you can see.
Shula is our fourth and final A-rank commander. Compared to the Lindwurm guys, his original companions aren't all that good; Nifsara gives +1 Speed but apart from that it's just +1 use of Charge (a fairly terrible skill) each. Both can also lead units as B-rank commanders, but I left them with Shula for now since they're a team. If you want to take full advantage of his skills though, stick some people like Georg and Galleon in there and watch the fireworks.
Anyway, preparations are done, so let's get to the killing. Sadly, we'll have to put up with the plain old battle theme here, too, even though it's the enemy home base.
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It's been a while since we were here last.
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I think I'm about to enjoy this visit more!
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"Bloodshed" is a silly word. Like "tool shed" except it's where you put your blood and blood accessories.
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Good luck with that!
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And try to play it safe if the enemy uses the Twilight Rune. Understood, Your Highness?
Uh I dunno something about jamming with the rest?
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So. Once more, we have a land/water split and out forces are attacking from the corners. Shula was originally with the naval forces (fittingly) but we already have two forced units in the Dahak and a ComShp headed by Cius of all people, so that only leaves room for one beaver and one dragon horse unit.
(Well, we could put the dragon horses on land and run them straight west, but we'd have killed everything already by the time they make it to the river.
All enemies that have skills have two charges of them. One ship has Flowing; Childerich and Dilber have Charge, and the one archer unit on land (the northernmost unit) has Barrage. The Barrages are the big problem, since we can't counteract them in any way.
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Technically we don't have to kill Childerich, but I don't think anyone wants to see a fight where we don't beat on him as much as we're allowed.
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So let's.
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The rebels must not enter Stormfist!!
Things start happening almost immediately.
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Well hello there.
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Godwin Soldier: Sir Childerich! An unidentified unit's been sighted in the Western Woods!
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Is it just me or does the guy in charge look sort of familiar...?
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That's -
...well okay it's not too terrible I guess, but still. Get the fuck out.
Godwin Soldier: They've started engaging our troops!
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In case anyone was wondering why I'm so set on beating Childerich...
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Yeah I thought that seemed pretty likely when they showed up and attacked the other side!
...
You know what? Forget it.
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Fuwala and Craig (I keep wanting to call him Cray because... reasons) will be taking care of the ships. It's going to be enough of a hassle handling battles in two places without being able to see both of them at the same time without involving ships that are weak against some of these boats!
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(If I had a unit that was strong against all land troops, you can bet your ass I'd use it. Well, AoE magic is close enough, I guess...)
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The barrage buttheads continue being buttheads. News at 11.
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I want the Flowing fuckhead out of the picture as soon as possible, but...
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...for some reason it doesn't even use its skills at all. Three encounters with Craig, and it sinks. You'd think it would have healed before that last hit... but hey, I'm not complaining!
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Meanwhile, our ground forces get close enough to start drawing the enemies out. Dilber's unit has 400 HP; Rage takes off 160. The player's special abilities appear to take priority over enemies' - he can't use his Charges unless we use a normal attack against him.
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One more down, but those Barrages have done quite a number on Fuwala's unit.
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We're in AoE range, so Zerase gets her Star on.
...then she wanders into Barrage range and gets shot in the face. Wilhelm takes the second Barrage, and that means the enemy is out of ranged options. The rest of the fight should be relatively predictable.
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Let's take a look at our latest general.
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The generic war sword looks weird in Shula's hand. I'd expect him to have a scimitar or something. Which is probably incredibly racist of me.
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No matter the shape of the sword, he's quite effective with it!
(In case you're wondering where Shoon's unit went, I sent it off south; he's nowhere near the one unit he's strong against, and he pops out right next to the enemy cavalry which will quickly tear him to shreds.)
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Meanwhile, Shula continues to be Shula.
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And Zerase continues to be very nice to have around as long as she doesn't open her big dumb mouth.
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40 + 2x30 = 100%.
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It doesn't matter how much health Dilber and Childerich have. It doesn't matter that they're A-rank generals. Three percentage-based attacks, and they're both dead.
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The ships are doing more damage than I was expecting, but we should be able to outlast them.
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...correction: we would have been able to outlast them if Craig and Fuwala hadn't decided to get tangled up in each other and send Fuwala straight into an enemy vessel like the dumb fucks that they are.
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But the beavers can't die so I don't really care. Craig will just have to clean up on his own.
...well I could get the Dahak up there and Barrage things, I guess, but
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Oh, and that was a double KO. First time I've seen one.
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Frey and Shoon's units are the only ones that can deal effectively with the archer, so let's have the commander of our army do something useful.
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Get back here, scumbag!
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Shula had no trouble with the enemy infantry, but struggles with the cavalry unit. Once you lose type advantage, those 100 HP our units tend to roll with don't last too terribly long.
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Craig sinks the last ship. Just two units left. The question now is, can we get someone in to save Shula's unit before we see another double KO with the enemy cavalry?
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Oh, and the answer was yes. Jeane fries the cavalry before it can charge in on Shula.
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Meanwhile the last six (!) enemies lead Frey on a merry chase that bugs out his pathfinding or something, so it takes a while for this to happen. Once it does, however, I don't think much more needs to be said.
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Cius threw a heal at Craig while Frey was running in circles, which is why I have more units here than in the last shot.
Unlike other battles, killing all enemies isn't enough to win. We actually have to get Frey to Stormfist, instead of just assuming he gets there once all the enemies are gone.
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But suddenly magic!
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Fall back, now!! All troops, back to Stormfist!
Childerich respawns just in time to run away. I'll get you one of these days!
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Losses mean nothing. Nothing at all.
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The enemy numbered 3200. We wiped them out to the last man. That's more than ten dead Nazis for every casualty on our side! I think we're entitled to cry victory after that.
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Hey, I recognize this place. Come to think of it, it kind of is a "blood shed" considering all the dudes we beat up in there.
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I get no respect. No damn respect at all.
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"Unfortunate."
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Lady, I am the grand fucking master of AoE magic fuckery, and I know no one gets more than one charge of that unless they have an Extra.
What I'm saying is they blew their load and now they're going to have to go lie down for a bit, which makes this the perfect time to overrun the city with our hundreds of soldiers!
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Running straight at us while wearing a Nazi uniform doesn't seem like it would be very good for your health.
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Fortunately, Georg looks twice before he chops her head off, which is good because otherwise I'd be in Trouble.
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???: Prince!
I know that voice! (music)
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Hella long time! You were actually almost useful back then. Funny how time flies, huh?
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Personally I'd have made him pop out next to an archer unit where he could actually do some impressive damage.
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"In that one encounter we had before some invisible force started pulling us away from the battle."
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I like the way you think! Not so much the "we" part, but I have an entourage to stuff you in...
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It's nice of them to remind the player in case we've forgotten during those several months since the last time we were here.
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But I trust no one could forget this place! Look how, uh, distinct and unique it is! (music)
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But I thought they had it blocked off...
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That... sounds sort of risky to me. Then again, the Godwins have their hands full with the war, so maybe they aren't paying that much attention.
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I'm not good at sitting tight! I wanna raise hell, too!
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"It's dangerous to"... nah, let's not go there.
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Uh actually I'm good with sitting tight. Have fun, Shoon!
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...goddammit.
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Not that I don't know exactly what you're getting at, but I can't wait for the war to end so I can be done with your cryptic bullshit.
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...yeah, yeah, let's just... go and get it over with so I can go back to taking baths and listening in on private conversations.
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And here we go, the first friend we made is one of the very last to join us. In fact, he would be the very last, but for reasons.
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Eh, some dudes.
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Not really, but they'll do for now. Onward!
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I will! For a given definition.
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I'm as surprised as you are!
Well actually no I'm not very surprised at all.
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Wow, you're useless.
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Later, suckers!