Part 5: When You Wish Upon A Knife

When You Wish Upon A Knife

When we last saw Mario and Mallow, they were headed back to Mushroom Kingdom after a mishap in Bandit's Way.


Unbeknownst to them, the town had been overrun with weird, bouncing idiots while they were gone. But before they could go on, there was an errand Mario felt they needed to run.


Mario: So, uh, you've been wandering around without pants for a while now, and I gotta say it's kinda disgusting. (Babelfish translation for you crazy folk: Therefore, uh, hour been rambling around without pants for a moment and I have obtained to say that it is disgusting of kinda.)
Mallow: Fine, but you have to wear a shirt. No one wants to see those man-boobs.
Mario: Deal.


Feeling nicer than usual, probably due to the fact that he wasn't exposed to Mallow's marshmallow-goodies anymore, Mario decided to help out the crazy, oh-so-tasty-looking mushroom man he saw when he walked up.


Obviously, they won, and were rewarded ten coins for their troubles. Cheap bastard.

They went around the town, helping those in need. Much like Spider-Man. Although, they just did it cause they were bored.



Pattycake pattycake bakers....OH GOD! What did you do to my jumping buddy??!

And getting credit where credit was due.




This hero stuff really pays off. Not like the last few times, when all I got for my troubles was a note saying that whore was in a different castle.

They even reluctantly returned that old guy's wallet.


Mario: Hell no! Not unless you give us something nice.
Old Shroom: Look, I'm not giving puffed daddy over there fellatio. Forget about it.
Mario: .....I was thinking more along the lines of a Flower Box.
Old Shroom: All I have is a Flower Tab!
Mario: That'll have to do for now. But if you don't have the box when I come back in a week, I'm taking my frustration out on your kneecaps (If you even have kneecaps).
Old Shroom: .....okay.


Mallow: What's a fellatio, Mario?
Mario: You'll find out when you're......nevermind, you'll probably never find out.

Before they saved anyone else, they went to the unmanned vault to jack some stuff.


Mallow: Isn't stealing wrong, Mario?
Mario: If no one's looking it's not.

Finally, they decided to take a rest before they chatted it up with the new big man in town.


That's not what she said last week.

After being healed by Grandma Toad, they took off to the throne room.


Mario: On second thought, you're not really that scary. I mean, You're resting on a point *cough*no balance*cough*, and you're so thick, that you're not even sharp.
Mack: Shut up, man! As if my self-esteem wasn't already low, youse gotta come here and insult me? It's on, now, muthatrucka.


Mario: What, so you're gonna hide behind a bunch of those morons? What kind of attack do you even have? I bet it sucks.


Oh...that kind. Well, it looks like it's time for a little Super Jump action! Count for me, Mallow!

Mallow: One, two, three a jump, four a jump rock. Five, six, seven a jump, eight a jump rock, nine, ten, eleven a jump, twelve a jump rock, we're gonna jump around this castle tonight, we're gonna.............. 31, 32.


Mack: Owwwie.


Mario: I'm invinci......oh, nevermind. It's a different type of star.


Star piece? It looks like a whole star to me...



Thing 1: Thanks for your contribution, Thing 2.


Over the sewer and through the river, to grandpa's house we go.

But before they left, Mario remembered why he and his dim-witted assistant came back to this run-down povertyville for in the first place.


Mario: I think it's safe to say that that's pretty freaking disgusting-looking.
Mallow: Yeah, Grandpa and the other tadpoles like them a lot, but they just make me gag.

Taking one final look at the once pogostick-infested town, they headed off to Kero Sewers.